May 21, 2010 | 11:35 am

Lunatics who can’t handle Muhammad drawings

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

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Ever notice how Jews don’t threaten Holy War over big-nosed Yid drawings?  Perhaps that’s because we have better ways of exacting revenge.

You don’t see Mel Gibson headlining any Hollywood films these days, do you?

May 20, 2010 | 10:44 am

Trayf of the Week: Bacon-scented candles

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/20/trayf-of-the-week-bacon-scented-candles/

Worst shabbat candles ever.

l’had’lik neir shel trayf

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May 19, 2010 | 11:03 am

Hippies

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

Now haggling -- that I understand

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/19/hippies/

So the St. Louis Bread company is trying out stores where you pay what you want? I’ve never heard of such communist goyishe mishegas in all my life.

How are you supposed to make a living when people can do what they want?  I think the whole thing is some sort of bizarre trap.  And if I’m ever caught in St. Louis, I’m paying for the stupid bread—kein ayin hara.

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May 18, 2010 | 11:44 am

Arizona

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/18/arizona/

All this howling about the new immigration law is much tsuris about nothing.  Desert states aren’t supposed to be peaceful.

Hashem could have made Arizona a land of milk and honey—instead, he made it a land of cactus, rednecks and aged Yids.  Let’s respect that.

Hashem called the dry land “earth.” And He saw it wasn’t good. But He knew no take-backs!

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May 17, 2010 | 11:04 am

Russians

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

And honeymoon was really his only shot...

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/17/russians/

Communism may be dead, but Russia keeps finding new ways to muck up the best things in life.  Case in point: What’s the best part of marriage?  The honeymoon—and the afterglow known as the honeymoon phase.

Well, cosmonaut Alexei Sitev is gonna skip that with 18 months of… a simulated trip to Mars.

When he comes back—not only won’t he have actually gone anywhere—but you can rest assured his beloved geek trophies will be moved out and his mother-in-law moved in.

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May 14, 2010 | 10:50 am

Sex and the City 2

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/14/sex-and-the-city-2/

Since when does a nice Jewish girl have to go to Abu Dhabi to meet an old flame? Normally all you need to do is wait until you catch him lighting a Yahrzeit candle, offer him some Kleenex and kugel, and you’re in.

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May 13, 2010 | 2:49 pm

Facebook

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

They're watching you... to help you... buy things.

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/13/facebook/

This is no longer a “social networking website”—it’s a monolith hell-bent on global hegemony. 

Facebook’s new privacy settings require you to understand and fulfill an elaborate series of commands to opt-out of hell. 

Leave it to Mark Zuckerberg (a Yid) to reinvent Catholicism.

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May 12, 2010 | 10:36 am

Elena Kagan

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/12/elena-kagan/

There’s thought that Jewish Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan might be bad for Hollywood—and since we run Hollywood, that would mean bad for us.

Though one has to wonder if she’s so anti-Hollywood, why is she dating Miranda from Sex and the City?

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May 11, 2010 | 7:56 am

California’s Bankruptcy Dance

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

Use caution? I can't -- I respect her too much.

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/05/11/california/

In case you missed it, California is broke.  All together now: How broke is it?  So broke that sales tax is 10%, 300 courts have been shut down, and soon the state may stop fixing sidewalks.

I guess that almost makes sense.  I mean, who walks in LA?  It’s the same logic I used when deciding not to fix my botched circumcision.

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May 10, 2010 | 10:39 am

Beyonce

Posted by The Annoyed Jew

http://whatsannoyingjews.com/2010/02/01/beyonce/

“If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it” is the most co-opted bit of Yiddish musical wisdom since Gwen Stefani sampled, “If I were a rich man.”  Seriously, how do you win six Grammys for repeating something my mother snidely said in East Meadow in 1975?

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