May 8, 2012 | 12:52 pm

Jack Brandman, “Two Jews Meet at a Pirate Convention” [VIDEO]

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Jack Brandman. Photo from Youtube

April 23, 2012 | 12:48 pm

The Hope [VIDEO]

Posted by JewishJournal

Francky Perez and Broadway share their take on Hatikvah, Israel’s national anthem.

And after you watch the video, don’t forget to check out the interview with Francky Perez on Channel 2.  After the introduction, most of the interview is in English.

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April 5, 2012 | 12:46 pm

Moves Like Moses [VIDEO]

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Photo from Youtube

A Bar Mitzvah A cappella song brought to you by Pella.

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March 8, 2012 | 12:10 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘John Carter’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

John Carter (2012)

Okay, so first I have to say that I loved ‘John Carter’, the Disney 3D SciFi adventure film directed by Andrew Stanton (WALL-E)...

The plot can seem slightly more complicated than it is…so I’ll just give you the main points.

First, there’s John Carter (the very handsome, Taylor Kitsch) a post Civil War Veteran who’s absolutely fed up with war. All he wants to do is find, a certain cave, that is supposedly filled with gold and spend the rest of his life far far away from any kind of conflict. Good luck with that…

While running away from the U. S. Cavalry and a band of Indians, John does find a cave…but not just any cave. This one happens to have a portal that goes straight to…Mars aka Barsoom. Well, there’s also this mysterious bald man that has this little gadget, but I’m not going to go into that. Don’t want to spoil the fun.

So in a blink of an eye, our hero winds up on The Red Planet. Except he doesn’t realize that right away. It’s not until John discovers that he can leap tall buildings at a single bound, that our soldier starts to get the idea that he’s not in Kansas anymore.

Actually what really seals the deal, is when John spots the 10 foot tall, skinny, green men with four arms.

These primitive and at times, super vicious dudes are called the Tharks and they’re led by Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) They give John a potion to drink and viola…he understands their language. Same thing happened to me in Italy but my potion came in a Chianti Bottle.

When the Tharks see how high our boy can jump, they decide to keep him as a pet. Of course John has other plans. Especially when…

He meets a hot, sexy Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) who comes from the Planet Helium. (There’s always a hot sexy princess, right?)

History lesson: Helium has been in war with the Zodangans for a very, very long time. The Helium people are the good guys…The Zodangans…Bad…Really, Really Bad. The Zodangans are led by the Evil Sab Than (Dominic West) who is hungry for power and hunger for our Princess.

There’s also these three mystery guys called the Therns, who are shapeshifters and trust me, they get around.

Still with me? Hope so because ‘John Carter’ based on Edgar Rice Burroughs serial novels, is a super exciting, romantic and fun film definitely…worthy of the four and a half bagels I gave it.

This film cost over $350 million and I know from the people I’ve talked with and some of the reviews I’ve read, people will either love it or hate it.

Watch our video to see which side John landed on on and how many bagels he gave to ‘John Carter’. The film opens in theatres Friday March 10, 2012 and I think, you will definitely enjoy the adventure to Barsoom as much as I did.

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March 2, 2012 | 12:42 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Project X’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Project X (2012)

Three high school seniors throw a birthday party that spirals out of control and their lives will never be the same.

Okay, right off the bat, I have to say that ‘Project X’ directed by Nima Nourizadeh, written by Matt Drake and Michael Baldwin is crazy hysterical, outrageous fun and super clever.

I loved this film.

Shot in the ‘found footage’ style, it tells the story of three teenagers, Tom (Thomas Mann) Costa (Oliver Cooper) and JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown) who yearn to be ‘popular’.

Costa, who could be cast on the reality show ‘Jersey Shore’ puts together a party…but not just any party. Using ‘social media’...facebook, twitter, craigslist, to get the ‘word out’ this becomes an epic party or ‘party of the century’.

We’re talking…sex, drugs, topless gorgeous girls, an angry dwarf who punches guys in the groin (well, you can’t really blame him. He does get stuffed in an oven) a pissed off ecstasy dealer who sets an upscale residental Pasadena neighborhood on fire…and a killer soundtrack…

But besides all that…‘Project X’ shows us what it means to be a teenager…wanting to fit in and realizing what really matters in life…

Yes, there are many over the top, outrageous scenes, brilliant editing, great camera work and most importantly…fully drawn characters. ‘Project X’ is an original for sure.

I gave this movie 4 bagels out of 5 and to my surprise, John was pretty close with his bagel score. Yes, Mr. Critical actually liked it. Check out our video to see what he thought.

‘Project X’ opens in theatres, Friday March 2nd. This is one party you don’t want to miss.

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February 28, 2012 | 12:34 pm

2012 Oscars: Sacha Baron Cohen vs. Ryan Seacrest [VIDEO]

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Sacha Baron Cohen and Ryan Seacrest on the Red Carpet. Photo from Youtube

See what happens when Ryan Seacrest interviews the actor as “The Dictator”—and gets “ashes” spilled on him on live TV!

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February 23, 2012 | 12:00 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Wanderlust’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Wanderlust (2012)

Things aren’t going well for married couple Linda (Jennifer Aniston) and George (Paul Rudd).

HBO has rejected Linda’s documentary on penguins suffering from testicular cancer. They felt it wasn’t sexy or violent enough…And…George’s company has just been raided by the FBI. Oh…he’s also been fired.

To make matter worse, Linda and George can no longer afford their West Village ‘micro loft’ that they moved into two days ago. They were assured by Real Estate lady, Shari (Linda Lavin) that in today’s market, it was a steal. Of course, when they tell Shari they want to sell it, she laughs in their face…without moving a muscle.

So…now that our two upscale New Yorkers are broke and on the verge of being homeless, there’s only one thing left for them to do…

Get in the car and drive to Atlanta, Georgia where George’s brother resides.

What follows is a very long, and very funny car ride set to music. When the couple gets too tired to drive, they come upon a lovely little bed and breakfast to spend the night.

The place is called Elysium and George and Linda soon discover, this is not your every day B & B.

No sooner have they bed down for the night, when they’re awaken by the sound of drums. George wanders downstairs to investigate and he’s soon followed by Linda. What they find is…

A whole bunch of weird, wonderful, eccentric hippies having a party…smoking pot, dancing, singing and it doesn’t take long before George and Linda join the fun.

Of course when morning comes, they have to say goodbye to their new friends and head for…

Atlanta…where George’s super obnoxious, wealthy brother Rick (Ken Marino) lives with his angry son and alcoholic, pill popping wife, Marissa (the very funny, Michaela Watkins) Rick is more than happy to give George a job in his Porta-Potty business, but not before rubbing his success in George’s face.

It doesn’t take long before Linda and George make a mad dash out of there and drive straight back to…

Elysium…where after a little debate, they decide that this place is home. A home that includes a very different life-style…that eventually makes Linda and George question…how free they really want to be.

Director and writer David Wain along with co-writer Ken Marino have populated their script with a lot of very funny bits as well as wonderful, colorful characters…including Alan Alda, Justin Theroux as the self-appointed Guru/ladies man, Lauren Ambrose, Kathryn Hahn, Malin Akerman and nudist Joe Lo Truglio, just to name a few.

Is ‘Wanderlust’ a film with a big, deep message…?...Not really, but it is a movie that will definitely entertain you. At least it did that for me and that’s why I gave it 3 1/2 bagels out of 5.

Check out our video to see how many bagels John, the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ gave ‘Wanderlust’ and what he thought of it.

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February 15, 2012 | 2:04 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘This Mean War’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

This Means War (2012)

Okay, so we have this cute girl who meets a sexy guy for coffee and they hit it off. A few minutes later (give or take) the same girl, meets another sexy guy, and they also hit it off.

Now in any normal situation, the girl would probably date both guys, right? Well, in ‘This Means War’ directed by McG…that’s not so simple.

The girl is Lauren Scott (Reese Witherspoon) and the two guys are FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy). They happen to be, unbeknownst to Lauren, BFF’S and…CIA operatives.

Lauren has a successful career as a senior product evaluator for a leading consumer advocate publisher. It’s really much more interesting than it sounds. She has a very cool apartment and her own BFF, Trish (Chelsea Handler). What Lauren doesn’t have is a boyfriend and Trish is determined to fix that.

Trish signs Lauren up to an online dating service, and as fate would have it,...or at least the screenwriters, Timothy Dowling and Simon Kinberg, Tuck has also recently joined.

Tuck spots Lauren’s photo and he’s instantly hooked. They meet at the local mall for a quickie (date) and sparks fly.

After they say their goodbyes, a smitten Lauren wanders into a video store to rent a movie and…bumps into none other than…FDR. Note: The dude prowls video stores for women. It sounds worse than it is. Okay, FDR is a player.

Lauren and FDR also have instant chemistry. And….

What follows is Lauren trying to juggle both guys, and Tuck and FDR competiting with each other for her affection. And that’s where all the fun comes in.

I have to say that, what could have been perceived as, super creepy, is actually super funny.

Remember, these two guys are CIA agents…And what do CIA agents do? They spy…

FDR and Tuck not only place bugs, cameras and listening devices in Lauren’s apartment, so they can spy on her and each other, but they get their fellow CIA operatives to help them out in their…Who’s gonna get the girl first, mission.

Of course, you can’t have a spy movie without car chasses, kick ass fights and one or two nasty bad guys…Thanks to Henrich (Til Schweiger)an international arms dealer, who wants Tuck and FDR dead, we get all that as well.

Is ‘This Means War’ brilliant? Of course not. It’s not meant to be. But it is zany fun and yes…it’s definitely a chick flick. But one that guys will like as well…Especially when they see how romantic their date gets, afterwards.

Of course, that didn’t matter to John, the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’. Check out our video to see what he thought and his bagel rating.

I gave ‘This Means War’ which opens in theatres, Friday, February 17, 2012, 3 1/2 bagels out of 5 because it made me laugh…a lot.

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February 14, 2012 | 6:05 pm

From Israel with Love [VIDEO]

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Ahavah statue at the Israel Museum Art Garden. Photo by Wikipedia/Talmoryair

Love is in the air. A very happy Valentine’s Day from the IDF!

IDF soldiers sing Every Breath You Take by The Police

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February 9, 2012 | 5:20 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Safe House’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Safe House (2012)

Rogue agent Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington) has been off the grid for the past ten years and he’s been on the CIA’S most wanted list for the last decade.

CIA agent, Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds) has been posted to a remote, empty Safe House in Capetown, South Africa for over a year. He’s job is to make sure the Safe House is always ready for ‘visitors’. Weston is bored and longs for action.

When, out of the blue, Tobin turns himself in, he’s transported to Weston’s Safe House and the novice operative gets his wish…and then some…

Mercenaries attack the house, killing practically everyone in sight. Everyone except… Matt and Tobin, who manage to escape and go on the run.

Matt is determined to protect Tobin at all costs and ‘bring him in’. Tobin, however, has other ideas and what happens next is…

unfortunately, what you’ve seen hundreds of times up on the screen….

We have numerous car chases, explosive gun battles (are there any other kind?), stunts galore, lots of action and a few twists, that you can see coming, a mile away.

The best part of ‘Safe House’ are the quiet scenes between Denzel and Ryan. The two actors have great chemistry. Denzel’s character is intense, at times scary, but in the end…sympathic. Ryan conveys his usual charismatic self and you can’t help but like him.

The supporting cast includes Sam Shepherd as a CIA big shot, Vera Farmiga and Brendan Gleeson as CIA operatives and Ruben Blades as a forger. Ruben and Washington also have a couple of nice scenes together that reveal more about the Frost character.

The director, Daniel Espinosa has shot the film in a ‘cinema verte’ style and has chosen to speed up the action, so at times…it’s hard to tell who’s kicking whose butt.

If you want to see a movie, that is filled with car crashes, action, violence but has really nice performances from Denzel and Reynolds, then ‘Safe House’ is the film to see.

The ‘Two Jews On Film’ are actually almost in agreement. Check out our video to see our bagel rating…and to see our…kung fu moves.

‘Safe House’ opens in theatres, Friday, February 10, 2012.

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February 3, 2012 | 2:12 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Chronicle’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Chronicle (2012)

Every so often a film surprises me…Sometimes in a good way…Sometimes in a not so good way.

Walking into the screening of ‘Chronicle’ directed by Josh Trank, I was expecting to see a movie that I’ve seen way too many times…teenagers get superpowers and fight evil doers.

Wow, was I happily surprised…Yes…teenagers do get superpowers…It happens when they’re exposed to an alien device, but…

What these three boys do with their superpowers, is what makes ‘Chronicle’, one of the most original, exciting, entertaining, and interesting films, I’ve seen in a long time.

The guys are just your typical dudes dealing with stuff that all teenagers deal with…When they discover that they have the power of telekinesis, nothing really changes for them…They just use it…to have fun…For awhile, anyway.

Matt (Alex Russell) who likes to quote Carl Jung and Schopenhauer wants to follow the rules….Rule #1…We never use our power when we’re angry. Not so easy for…

Andrew (Dane DeHann)...He has major rage issues…But you can’t really blame him. Andrew’s daddy is an abusive alcoholic and his mother is dying a painful death from cancer.

The outgoing Steve (Michael B. Jordan) who’s running for class president, wants to help his new buddy Andrew, come out of his shell and…and oh yeah…lose his virginity.

The film is shot from Andrew’s P.O.V. (‘Cloverfield’, ‘Paranormal Activity’, etc) He’s obsessed with chroniciling his life. As his powers grow, he learns to operate the camera telekinetically, which opens up his entire world. Andrew is able to make the camera float, fly and capture action in a very unique way.

This is especially evident in the flying scenes. You can’t help but feel like you’re up in the clouds with these three guys.

Of course, the film is not just about boys being boys. There’s a very dark side to ‘Chronicle’ which leads to an exhillarating climax.

The actors are all exellent. They make their characters totally believable. And alot of that has to do with the wonderful script written by Trank and Max Landis.

The ‘Two Jews On Film’ were pretty close on this one. Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave ‘Chronicle’ which opens in theatres Friday, February 3, 2012. Don’t miss it.

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January 26, 2012 | 2:00 pm

My Pastrami Mama: The complete first season

Posted by Jay Firestone

What would you do if your mother was a pastrami sandwich?  How long would she keep before getting bitter? Does she come with a side of coleslaw?

All pertinent questions for the first installment of “My Pastrami Mama,” a new Web series brought to you by JewishJournal Mobile.

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January 25, 2012 | 3:15 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘The Grey’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

The Grey (2012)

It takes a lot for a film to truly scare me. I mean, after seeing hundreds and hundreds of movies featuring, knife wielding masked maniacs, cannablistic nuclear families preying on hot teenage girls and demon possessed embroyos, I’ve become kind of blaise about the horror genre.

So many horror films are derative of one another. But I’m happy to say…this is definitely not the case with ‘The Grey’ directed by Joe Carnahan (‘Narc’, ‘The A Team’) and starring the very tall and always excellent, Liam Neeson.

The story is simple. A group of super macho oil workers, including the heartbroken, slightly suicidal, Ottway (Liam Neeson) are travelling to a work site when their plane crashes in the remote Alaska wilderness. By the way this is a very realistic plane crash. I found myself grabbing the arm of the stranger sitting next to me. Luckily he didn’t mind. Anyway…

The survivors must find a way back to civilization before they either freeze to death or die of starvation.

Unfortunately, besides the cold (and it’s really, really cold) and lack of food, they have…one other…not so small problem…Wolves…Big, Bad, Vicious, Ugly, fierce, red eyed…Wolves.

And these furry, grey creatures are extremely…pissed off. Seems the humans have invaded their territory and and to the wolves…this is means war.

These are cunning, determined animals and here’s where the really scary part comes in.

When the men and the audience least expect it, the wolves…Well, I’m not going to tell you. Don’t want to spoil the fun. And yes, ‘The Grey’ is fun. It’s also horrific and totally terrifying.

What makes ‘The Grey’ not just another typical survival film…is the excellent script. The film is written by Carnahan and Ian MacKenzie Jeffers and they’ve created some really interesting characters.

At first, the men hide behind their macho facade, going out of their way not to show any fear. But as the story progresses, their facades peel away and we get to see what’s really underneath.

The supporting cast including including, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Nonso Anozie, Joe Anderson, Ben Bray and James Badge Dale are all excellent.

The wolves are a combination of giant puppet animatronics, CGI and real ones…that are trained of course.

Make sure you stay past the credits…there’s a surprise you don’t want to miss.

I gave ‘The Grey’ 4 and 1/2 bagels out of five. Check out our video to hear John’s wolf imitation and to see how many bagels he gave this film.

‘The Grey’ opens in theatres, Friday January 28, 2012. Don’t miss it.

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January 12, 2012 | 4:18 pm

Two Jews On Film: ‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011)

9/11…All you have to do is say that date and most people will have a reaction…usually an emotional reaction…And for me, that emotion is one of saddness…for the senseless loss that so many people experienced.

And now, ten years after that infamous day, Stephen Daltry has directed a beautiful, moving film about…loss.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ stars first time actor, Thomas Horn. He plays the young boy Oskar, trying to come to terms with his father’s death on 9/11.

What’s amazing about Thomas, is that just like the character Oskar, he too has Asperger’s Syndrom. Horn is in every scene of this film and he’s absolutely riverting.

Apparently Scott Rudin saw him on the tv game show Jeopardy and cast him in the part. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but in any case, Thomas Horn definitely, if he chooses, has a great future ahead of him as an actor.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ is many things…A mystery…a family drama, a quest…even at times, a comedy, but in the end, this is a film about the relationship between a father (Tom Hanks) and his adoring son.

A year after his father’s death in the Twin Towers, Oskar is still ridden with guilt and pain from his loss.

One day, he finds a key in his dad’s closet…And it’s this key, that takes Oskar on an odyssey to discover the lock that the key fits. And of course, he winds up finding something much more profound than he ever could have imagined.

Oskar’s travels take him on a journey throughout New York’s five boroughs and along the way, he runs into some eccentric, wonderful characters, including Viola Davis and Jeffrey Wright, a married couple with their own set of secrets.

He also gets some unexpected help, from his grandmother’s (Zoe Caldwell) mysterious Renter…Max Von Sydow.

Von Sydow will surely get an Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actor. He gives one of the most compelling performances in the film and…he does it…without uttering one single word.

Sandra Bullock plays Linda, Oskar’s mother and although she isn’t in many scenes, her presence is felt throughout the film. In fact, one of the twists has to do with Linda’s relationship with her son.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ is based on a novel written a few years back by Jonathan Safran Foer and Eric Roth (‘Benjamin Button’) has done an excellent job in adapting it for the screen.

Roth mentioned at the Writer’s Guild Q & A that he wrote 50 drafts of the script. Now that should give hope to all aspiring screenwriters.

In my opinion, I think this movie is a must see for everyone. Simply put, it’s a story about a very special boy, who comes to realize, that even when you lose someone you love, they never really go too far away…

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ opens in selected theaters, December 25, 2011 and expands to wide release on January 20, 2012. It’s a perfect holiday movie.

‘Two Jews On Film’ are ending the year, disagreeing…as usual…At least about this film.

Check out our video to see our bagel score.

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January 4, 2012 | 5:17 pm

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It (Parody) “Gassy and I’m Bloated” by Smooth-E

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December 16, 2011 | 12:46 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

The year is 1891. The place is England…And something really, really bad is about to happen throughout the land….Well to be precise, France and Germany…And there’s only one man that can stop this very, very bad thing…Actually, one man plus several helpers.

Anyway, the man of course is Sir Conan Doyle’s famous detective, Sherlock Holmes.

Okay…So we have anarchists setting off bombs… and people are getting tense. Can you blame them?

Then the Crown Prince Of Austria is found dead and the evidence points to suicide. But Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) deduces that the Prince has been the victim of murder…And that his murder is just a small piece of a much larger puzzle, that eventually will lead to war between France and Germany.

And the man behind the bombings and the Prince’s murder…None other than the very diabolical, very brilliant, and very evil, Professor Moriarty (Jared Allen) aka Sherlock Holmes nemesis and arch enemy.

Of course, Holmes is the only man, clever enough to stop the Professor, from carrying out his masterplan and luckily, he doesn’t have to do it alone.

That’s right, his trusted bff and sidekick, Dr. Watson (Jude Law) is with him every step of the way…Despite the fact, that he’s on his honeymoon, having just married the lovely Mary (Kelly Reilly) and he’s own his . .

Story continues after the jump.

Along with this dynamic duo, director Guy Ritchie has given the boys a beautiful gypsy fortune teller, Madam Simza (Noomi Rapace-the original ‘Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’) and Sherlock’s bro, (the very funny Stephen Fry) to help them along.

Rachel McAdams also makes a brief but noteworthy appearance in the beginning of the film.

‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’, written by Kiernan and Michelle Mulroney, is a perfect blend of humor, mystery and action…

Downey, as always gives it his all. He’s in practically every scene and you can’t help but smile as you watch him ham it up…(but never too much).

I gave ‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’ 3 1/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see what the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ thought of this sequel…

The film opens in theaters Friday, December 16, 2011.

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