November 21, 2011 | 3:57 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘My Week with Marilyn’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

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Michelle Williams and Dougray Scott as Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller respectively on the film set of My Week with Marilyn, which was being filmed in London in October 2010. Photo by David McKears/Wikipedia

When the film ‘My Week With Marilyn’ directed by Simon Curtis, begins…we see Marilyn Monroe on a stage singing ‘That Ole Black Magic’...That’s who I thought it was, anyway.

It actually took me a few seconds before realizing that I was watching not Monroe, but Michelle Williams…That’s how good she is in her portrayal of the damaged, insecure, extremely sensual, extremely vulnerable Hollywood icon/sex symbol known as…Marilyn Monroe. Or to put it simply, Michelle William’s performance blew me away.

And the rest of the film is pretty wonderful as well. ‘My Week With Marilyn’ is based on two memoirs by documentary filmmaker, Colin Clark.

The year is 1957 and Colin (Eddie Redmayne) 23, has a dream…to make movies. So Colin says goodbye to his super wealthy family, leaves his super sized mansion in the country and heads for London.

As soon as the charming Colin arrives, he uses his powers of persuasion to finagle a job with Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) The job…Working as his 3rd assistant director…aka a goofer…on the film ‘The Prince And The Showgirl’ which Olivier is not only starring in, but directing as well. Oh, and the female star just happens to be…

Miss Marilyn Monroe.

Story continues after the jump.

Marilyn arrives in London with her new husband, the great playwright, Arthur Miller (Dongray Scott) as well as her super possessive acting coach, Paula Strasberg (Zoe Wanamaker) and the head of her film company, Milton Greene (Dominic Cooper).

She also brings along all her bad habits which includes pills, tardiness and an extreme fear of not being a good enough actress.

Marilyn’s dependence on The Method are just a few of the things that start to drive Olivier absolutely crazy…while the rest of the cast, including Dame Sybil Thorndike (Judi Dench) seem to be enamored with her.

Of course, the main story here, is the relationship between Colin and Marilyn. Olivier assigns him the job of babysitting Marilyn and it doesn’t take long before Colin falls madly in love with her. Can you blame him? Unfortunately, this upsets his girlfriend, Lucy (Emma Watson) Can you blame her?

Anyway, a real friendship develops between the two of them and for a short time, Marilyn actually feels protected and accepted for who she truly is.

‘My Week With Marilyn’ is a film about love…falling in love for the first time and what it’s like to never really feel loved…even though you are loved by everyone.

The film ends the way it began…Michelle Williams, on stage surrounded by dancers, singing ‘We’re Having A Heat Wave’ and watching her perform…we understand why Marilyn Monroe was and will always be…Hollywood’s greatest sex symbol.

‘A Week With Marilyn’ opens in limited release, Wednesday November 23, 2011. Check out our video to see how many bagels John gave this film. Needless to say, I don’t agree with his rating.

November 9, 2011 | 3:03 pm

Two Jews on Film: J. Edgar’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Every once in awhile, you experience a performance by an actor that simply blows your mind…And that’s exactly what happened to me, when I watched Leonardo DiCaprio portray J. Edgar Hoover in Clint Eastwood’s new film, ‘J. Edgar’.

What makes a great performance are the subtle things an actor does…things that inform the character…a gesture, a look, body language, the tilt of the head…and DiCaprio obviously understands this…Because he absolutely nails the part.

Equally brilliant, is Armie Hammer (The Social Network) as Clyde Tolson, Hoover’s long time companion, second in command at the FBI and perhaps…his lover. For me, I found their relationship the most interesting aspect of this film.

Okay so anyone can google J. Edgar Hoover and get a slew of facts about the man as well as contrary opinions regarding his sexuality. But one thing is for sure…

Story continues after the jump.

J. Edgar Hoover was a monster…a blackmailing, lying, egotistical, cunning, sexually repressed, control freak who was badly in need of a good shrink.

All you have to do is observe the interaction between J. Edgar and his mother, (the wonderful, Judi Dench) and you’ll understand where J. Edgar got his insanity from. Mother Hoover was a super religious, dominating woman, who brought up her boy to believe that he was a God.

In all fairness, J. Edgar was quite intelligent. He came up with some of the most innovative crime fighting techniques that the FBI still uses today.

And thanks to his infamous ‘Confidential File’ which contained dirt on practically everyone, Hoover managed to stay the head of the FBI for almost 50 years…through 8 different Presidents and three wars.

There are so many good things in Eastwood’s film…the cast of famous historical character we get to meet…Charles Lindberg, the famous gangsters of the 20’s, 30’s, Emma Goldmen, Dorothy Lamour, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Nixon. Eastwood takes us from the early 1900’s right up to the 70’s.

The cast of supporting characters are wonderful, including Naomi Watts as Hoover’s loyal, long time executive assistant, Helen Gandy, who worked by his side most of her adult life.

The only problem I have with the film is that everything feels a bit too tidy…too measured. That might have to do with the screenplay, written by Dustin Lance Black (Milk) I had moments when I found myself wondering what this story would have been like in the hands of some wild Europeon filmmaker.

It’s for that reason I gave ‘J. Edgar’ 4 bagels out of 5…

Also, please check out our video to see how many bagels the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ gave ‘J. Edgar’ Hint: Once again we weren’t even close.

‘J. Edgar’ opens in theaters, Wednesday November 9, 2011. Put it on your ‘must see’ list for sure.

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November 4, 2011 | 2:02 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Tower Heist’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

All I can say is…thank the Movie Gods for Eddie Murphy…because he single handedly put the funny in this new so-called, comedy entitled, ‘Tower Heist’, directed by Brett Ratner.

So here’s the story in a nut shell…

There’s this super sleazy, super rich, Wall Street dude named, Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda) - No, this film isn’t a fantasy. Sleezy Wall Street dudes really do exist.

Arthur occupies the Penthouse apartment of New York City’s tallest high rise called ‘The Tower’. Arthur is charming, friendly to the staff, loves to play chess with the help and would steal the last penny from his dying mother’s hand if given the chance.
Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller) is the over efficient GM of The Tower. He runs the place like a well oiled machine, making sure the staff caters to the wealthy tenants every whim. Josh and the workers at ‘The Tower’ are one big happy family….Until…

Arthur gets arrested for orchestrating a Ponzi scheme and swindling millions of people out of their life savings, including the entire staff of ‘The Tower.’

Story continues after the jump.

Seems Josh made the mistake of entrusting Arthur with their Pension Fund and now they’re all broke.

There’s only one thing left for Josh to do…TAKE REVENGE.

Here’s where Eddie Murphy comes in and here’s where the movie starts to get funny…Unfortunately, the film gets unfunny whenever Murphy is off screen.

Eddie plays Slide, a wise cracking career criminal. Josh enlists Slide, as well as…his brother-in-law, Charlie (Casey Affleck), the Conceirge at The Tower, Odessa (Gabourey Sidibe) a Jamacian maid who just happens to be an expert safe cracker, a mild mannered businessman, Mr. Sims (Matthew Broderick) who’s just lost his money, his job and his family, along with a few other Tower employees, to rob Shaw’s Penthouse where he has supposedly hidden $20 million dollars in cash.

Not a bad premise…

But a premise doesn’t make a film. ‘Tower Heist’ is not as funny as it could be nor is it as clever as you want it to be. It’s for that reason, the ‘Two Jews On Film didn’t give it a very high bagel score.

Check out our video to see what John thought about it. Hint: He gave it one less bagel than I did.

‘Tower Heist’ opens in theaters Friday, November 4, 2011. Wait for the DVD.

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October 27, 2011 | 6:10 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘In Time’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

‘In Time’ is a sci/fi thriller written, directed and produced by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca)...Maybe that’s the problem. You know what they say about wearing too many hats…

Okay, when the film begins, we discover that we are now in the future….A future where you stop aging at 25…(Guess that put a big dent in the Botox industry). Your mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather etc, all look 25 so it’s hard to tell if you’re hitting on someones mother or daughter. You get the idea.

After 25, you get one free year to live…After that, you have to work for every extra second, minute, hour, day…If you want to eat, have a place to live, you have to pay with ‘time’...Your time. Unless of course, you come from time.

In other words…‘Do you have a minute’ takes on a whole new meaning.

People are now separated by time-zones.

Story continues after the jump.

Everyone has a bar code on their arm that glows green. When you gain time, the numbers go up…lose time, the numbers go down.

Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) lives minute-to-minute in the Ghetto known as Dayton. But one day, everything changes for him. A stranger, named Henry Hamilton (Matt Bomer) gives him a ‘century’. It seems Henry doesn’t want to live anymore.

Unfortunately, the gift comes too late to save Will’s mother (Olivia Wilde). She runs out of time and keels over dead right in front of him. After that, things go from bad to worse for our guy.

Will is unjustly accused of murdering Henry and he’s forced to go on the run…He steals a car and heads for the rich side of town…New Greenwich. Far from the ghetto, the wealthy leisurely stroll down the streeet, covering their bar codes with elbow length gloves and spend their days gambling and looking bored.

Will checks into a luxurious suite (after all time is no longer a problem) buys a hot sports car and goes to a fancy casino where he meets poor little rich girl, Sylvia (Amanda Seyfried). Together the two of them decide the system is corrupt, the world is unfair and they go on a Bonnie & Clyde rampage to change things.

Sounds exciting? Well it’s not.

First of all, when you create a world like Niccols did, you have to explain how and why it all came about. I mean, did the huge pharmaceutical giants just sit idly by while disease and aging was wiped out? Who came up with the idea to genetically alter human beings? I’m sure the religious groups had no problem with it.

Also Timberlake and Seyfried have absolutely no chemistry together. Neither one of them, are very exciting to watch. Looking pretty isn’t enough to sustain this muddled SciFi flick. There are some interesting moments, but unfortunately, the film becomes one big monotonous chase, after awhile.

I did like Gillian Murphy as the timekeeper. Murphy is a by-the book cop, who even though knows that the system sucks, he’s still determined to do his job.

‘In Time’ opens in theaters, Friday, October 28, 2011. This time, John and I actually agree on how many bagels this film should get…Well, almost agree.

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October 18, 2011 | 5:54 pm

‘Welcome home Gilad’ video featuring Matisyahu’s ‘One Day’

Posted by JewishJournal

Photo by REUTERS/ PMO/
Handout

We’ve seen the photo slideshow, but for some reason, this unofficial mix to Matisyahu’s “One Day,” just says it all. 

Enjoy.

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October 13, 2011 | 12:09 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘The Big Year’ Review,

Posted by Joan Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

What does a Fork tailed Flycatch, a Yellow Crested Finch and a Pink Footed Goose have in common with Jack Black, Owen Wilson and Steve Martin? They are all in a new comedy called ‘The Big Year’, directed by David Frankel (Devil Wears Prada).

The Big Year refers to a real life competition where birders (people who are obsessed with our feathery friends) race to see, who can spot the most species of birds, within a calender year.

Sounds exciting? Well if it does, then this is the film for you to see.

When ‘The Big Year’ begins, we meet three very different men…who share the same dream…to win this competition.

Stu Preissler (Steve Martin) is a very sucessful businessman, who founded his own company. Now, Stu wants to retire to his beautiful home in the woods of Colorado with his wife, Edith(JoBeth Williams) Stu’s had it with the corporate rat race. Unfortunately, just when he thought he was out, they (Stu’s business associates, Kevin Pollak and Joel McHale) keep pulling him back in…

Story continues after the jump.

Brad Harris (Jack Black) is a discontented, code-writer (aren’t they all) who hates his job. All Harris wants, is to be the best bird-watcher he can be.

And finally, there’s Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson) a very successful contractor, who holds the record of having seen 732 different species of birds in the course of one calendar year. Kenny equates his title to that of Joe DiMaggios’s 56 game hitting streak. Bostick will do anything and everything to hold onto his title..even if it means screwing up his marriage to the lovely, Jessica (Rosamind Pike).

Okay, so to sum up…We have three men who are passionate about birds…lots of male bonding…even some female, male bonding and of course…birds…beautiful, colorful and expressive birds. And I mustn’t forget the incredible scenery. ‘The Big Year’ was shot was shot in Tofino, Osoyoos, Whistler, British Columbia, Upstate New York,Fire Island, Joshua Tree and the Florida Everglades.

Does all that add up to a super funny comedy? Not so much. But the film did make me chuckle several times.

I gave the film more bagels, of course, then John…but we weren’t too far apart. Check out our video to see the final count.

‘The Big Year’ opens in theaters, Friday, October 14, 2011.

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October 6, 2011 | 12:05 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Real Steel’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

"Real Steel" poster

The year is 2020. Things look pretty much the same as they do now…Except in the world of boxing. Humans have evolved to the point where they no longer get excited by watching men and women pummel each other. Score one for us.

What we have instead is ‘Robot Boxing’ which I have to say is…really, really cool…especially the way it’s depicted in this new fantasy, action film, called ‘Real Steel’ directed by Shawn Levy.

First of all, these ‘robot boxers’ aren’t your everyday garden variety robots. These animatronic, mechanical men are over 8 feet tall, made of steel and each one, has his own very unique personality. And wow, can they box.

When ‘Real Steel’ opens, we meet, Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman) a washed up fighter who finds himself in a world where he doesn’t fit in. No longer a boxer, Charlie makes his living hustling. He travels from one seamy underground boxing venue to the next, scoring fights for his low-end bots that he’s pieced together.

After his last robot gets destroyed at a County Fair boxing match, run by super sleavy ex boxer/promoter, Ricky (the wonderful Kevin Durand) Charlie desperately needs money…not only to buy another robot, but to pay off his gambling debts.

Charlie makes his way to Tallet’s gym and to his girlfriend, Bailey Tallet. Her father trained Charlie back in the day…Now she helps him rebuild his robots and rest his weary bones, whenever he comes into town.

Only this time, Bailey has had it with Charlie and his fighting bots. She’s spent years giving Charlie money and now she’s not only broke but on the verge of losing her gym.

Story continues after the jump.

As fate would have it, Charlie finds out that he’s a father. Backstory moment: After charlie broke up with late girlfriend, she gave birth to a boy, Max (Dakota Goyo). Max is now eleven and the deceased girlfriend’s sister, Debra (Hope Davis) and her wealthy husband, Marvin (James Rebhorn) want custody of him. Got all that?

Charlie, being the wheeler-dealer that he is, agrees to give them Max…for a price…$100,000. Now you can’t really blame him…He doesn’t even know the boy and he desperately needs the money, so he can buy a new robot.

Marvin agrees on one conditioner…Charlie has to keep Max for the summer so he and his wife can go off on their planned Italian vacation. Charlie relunctantly agrees.

Now this arrangement doesn’t sit at all well with Max… The kid feels abandoned by his father and he doesn’t want anything to do with him. And Charlie…well he probably can’t even spell the word…nuturing. He is totally clueless when it comes to being a dad.

‘Real Steel’ is the story of the ‘underdog’...It’s also the story of three abandoned beings…Charlie, Max and Atom, the little robot that nobody wanted that come together and surprise the world and they surprise each other.

This film has brilliantly designed robots, edge of your seat boxing matches…and a robot…doing the ‘Robot’. It’s a movie that will have you smiling way after the credits come on the screen.

‘Real Steel’ is a film for anyone who’s connected to their ‘inner kid’.

I gave ‘Real Steel’ 4 1/2 bagels out of 5. John as usual, had a different opinion. Check out our video to see his bagel score.

‘Real Steel’ opens in theaters Friday, Oct. 7.

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September 22, 2011 | 12:20 pm

Two Jews on Film give competing ‘bagel’ ratings to ‘Moneyball’ [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Brad Pitt in 'Moneyball'

First thing I must say is…I basically know nothing about sports. I do watch the Super Bowl but only for the commercials. That said, I absolutely loved ‘Money Ball’. Which goes to prove, that you don’t have to be a baseball fan, to think that this film, written by Aaron Sorkin and Steve Zaillan and directed by Bennett Miller, is absolutely wonderful.

Brad Pitt portrays real life Baseball legend, Billy Beanne. I’m sure there are many people out there that have no idea who Mr. Beanne is…I being one of them. But I do now. Beanne, once a promising baseball player, is the General Manager of the Oakland A’s. But not just any General Manager.

When ‘Moneyball’ begins Brad Pitt says…‘There are rich teams…There are poor teams…Then there is us’.

The year is 2002. The Oakland A’s has a payroll of 40 million dollars…while the Yankees’s payroll is $126 million. More money buys better players. Billy Beanne has to find a competitive advantage when it comes to assembling a winning team.

He doesn’t have alot of cash…but what he does have is…Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) a Harvard graduate with a degree in economics. So what the hell does Peter know about baseball?. Turns out plenty. Brand used statiscal data to analyze the value of a baseball player. He was able to see what the Scouts couldn’t…What a player did last year, was not what he’d do the following year. Sound boring? Trust me…It’s not.

Story continues after the jump.

Billy Beanne changed the face of baseball. He went against tradition and turned Baseball on its ear.

Billy and Peter’s relationship is the heart of this film and Brad and Jonah are fantastic together. Sorkin and Zaillan’s brilliant dialogue gives ‘Moneyball’ (based on Michael Lewis’s book) its humanity…Making it a movie for sports lovers as well as non sports lovers.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is almost unrecognizable as the Oakland A’s Manager, Art Howe. He totally transforms himself. You think you’re watching an old man instead of an actor in his 40’s. That’s how good he is.

Jonah Hill gives a beautiful, subtle performance and for the first time, I really enjoyed watching him.

As for Brad Pitt, well when Oscar nominations come around, I know his name will be the first one called. That’s how excellent his work is in this film.

I gave ‘Moneyball’ five bagels out of five with everything on them. As for the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’, John, well he had a very different opinion. Luckily I get to write the reviews and therefore, I have the last word. If you’d like to know his bagel score, check out our video.

‘Moneyball’ opens in theaters Friday September 23, 2011. Do not miss this gem.

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September 15, 2011 | 11:22 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Drive’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Ryan Gosling is ‘Driver’. He drives…fast…very fast…If you’re a burglar, he’s your go-to guy. Just make sure you get the job done in five minutes. Because that’s all you got…One minute late, Driver is gone.

Now, driving a get-a-way car is Driver’s night job. His day job is slightly more glamorous. Driver is a stunt driver for movies…That is, when he’s not working as a mechanic, for Shannon (Bryan Cranston) who just happens to be the Driver’s agent and manager as well.

Shannon is a man with a dream. He wants to fund a stock car for Driver to race on the professional circut. Enter…Bernie (Albert Brooks) a former movie producer, who is now a full blown crook tied to the mob. Yes they are still around…Anyway, after seeing Driver in action at the speedway, Bernie insists that his childhood friend and business partner, Nino (Ron Pearlman) join them in this venture. Shannon has no choice, but to agree. He’s not very fond of Nino. Afterall, a while back the dude fractured Shannon’s pelvis.

Meanwhile, when he’s not driving, Driver spends alot of time with his neighbor, Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son. Driver likes Irene alot. We know this because he looks deep into her eyes, while cheesy music plays in the background. But before they can sail off into the sunset together, Irene’s husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac) is released from prison. Bummer…

Now it turns out, Standard owes these two nasty guys (who coincidentally happen to be Bernie and Nino) alot of money and if he doesn’t pay it back, Irene and her son might meet a very bad fate.

Story continues after the jump.

The Driver of course, will do anything to protect Irene and her son…So he agrees to help Standard get the money he owes.

I won’t tell you what how or what happens next. Wouldn’t want to spoil this over the top, excessively violent, borderline cartoonish film, directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (The Pusher) Nicolas is a Danish dude, who I think wants very badly to be the next Quentin Tarrantino. Unfortunately I don’t see that happening…Not with this film, anyway.

I don’t have a problem with violence, but when you hear bones crack, again and again and again as Driver pulvarizes some poor guy’s face…Well, I wasn’t the only one in the audience laughing.

John and I once again agree…(Now I’m really starting to worry)...Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave this film.

‘Drive’ opens in theaters Friday, September 16, 2011. Wait for the dvd.

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September 9, 2011 | 9:23 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Contagion’ Review

Posted By Joan Alperin Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

'Contagion' opens in theaters Friday September 9, 2011.

An international traveler reaches into the snack bowl at an airport bar before passing her credit card to a waiter. A business meeting begins with a round of handshakes. A man coughs on a crowded bus.

One contact. One instant. And a lethal virus is transmitted.

Great premise. Great beginning. but unfortunately, that’s not enough to make a great film.

‘Contagion’ directed by Steven Soderbergh and written by Scott Z Burns (The Informant) succeeds in showing us how fast a virus can spread. It also makes you think that becoming an agoraphobic isn’t such a bad idea.

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns to Minneapolis from a business trip in Hong Kong. Two days later, she’s dead in the ER and the doctors tell her shocked and grieving husband (Matt Damon) that they have no idea why.

Soon other people start to exhibit the same mysterious symptoms: hacking coughs and fever, followed by seizures, brain hemorrhage (ouch) and ultimately…death. Not a pretty way to go.

Quickly this nasty virus spreads….Chicago, London, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, China, and Los Angeles. The number of cases quickly multiply…one case becomes four, then sixteen, then hundreds, thousands, and finally millions.

A global pandemic explodes. Okay, sounds exciting, right? Not so much.

Story continues after the jump.

It doesn’t take long for ‘Contagion’ to get bogged down in scientific mumbo jumbo, government conspiracy theories…thanks to blogger Jude Law, and the obligatory B story line of Matt Damon finding out his dead wife cheated on him and his daughter pissed off that she can’t lock lips with her dorky boyfriend.

I love pandemic movies and I was really expecting to love this one. Unfortunately, I found my mind wandering…thinking about Kate Winslett’s excellent ‘American’ accent. Miss Winslett plays Dr. Erin Mears, a CDC employee sent out into the field by her collegue Dr. Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) to try and stop the virus from spreading. Fat chance of that happening.

The rest of the cast, including Marion Cotillard (Dr. Leonora Orantes)aren’t really given alot to do…except to look concerned and then look very, very concerned, as the death count rises.

John and I actually come pretty close in our bagel rating. Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave ‘Contagion’.

The film opens in theaters Friday September 9, 2011.

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August 26, 2011 | 11:48 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Our Idiot Brother’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Paul Rudd in 'Our Idiot Brother'

Paul Rudd is Ned Rochlin, an organic farmer, who sees the good in everyone. So when a policeman comes up to him at a local Farmers Market and begs Ned to sell him some weed, he’s only to happy to oblige. Afterall, Ned felt sorry for the cop, who said he was suffering from job-related stress. Now what does Ned get for this act of compassion? He gets busted and sent to prison, of course. Afterall, this is a comedy…

After a few months in jail, Ned is released for good behavior. When Ned returns home to his farm, where he lived with his girlfriend, Janet (Kathryn Hahn) and his beloved dog…Willie Nelson, he finds out, that not only does Janet have a a new boyfriend, but she’s keeping, Willie Nelson. This hurts Ned even more than the break-up.

So now that Ned is homeless and dogless, he has no choice but to move back to his childhood home in Long Island, where his sweet mother, Irene (Shirley Knight) welcomes him with open arms.

At the weekly family dinner, we get to meet Ned’s three sisters: First, there’s uber mom, Liz (Emily Mortimer) who is married to the pompous, Dylan (Steve Coogan) a documentary filmmaker with an ostentatiously humanitarian ethos and a tidy trust fund, along with their seven year old son, River (Matthew Mindler) and baby daughter, Echo. This family is so dysfunctional, that it doesn’t even know it.

The middle sister is, Miranda (Elizabeth Banks) an ambitious staff writer for Vanity Fair who’s constant companion is her Blackberry.

Finally, there’s baby sister, Natalie (Zooey Deschanel) who’s joined at the hip to her girlfriend Cindy, a down to earth, say it like it is, lawyer.

The sisters and Cindy offer Ned support and invite him to come visit anytime. And it isn’t very long, before Ned takes all three sisters up on their offer, starting with…

Sister Liz, who resides in a very lovely, brownstone in Brooklyn. Ned moves in and all goes well for awhile and then…it doesn’t…

From there, Ned…moves onto Miranda’s and finally, Natalie’s. As Ned is passed from sister to sister, they each find their life thrown into chaos and they all blame Ned for their problems.

Ned always seems to be in the middle of each misunderstanding, oblivious to the way things work in the real world and forever saying or doing, the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time.

And that’s where all the great humor in ‘Our Idiot Brother’ comes from…These wonderful sibling relationships.

The film is like a delicious dessert…The characters are rich, complex with interesting layers…and you wind up caring about each and every one of them…Except maybe for Dylan…who’s a total jerk…but he’s a super, funny jerk, thanks to the excellent performance of Steve Coogan. I absolutely loved this film. The cast is excellent and I gave ‘Our Idiot Brother’ four bagels out of five. Of course, John, the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ had a different experience…(for a change)...

Check out our video to see what he thought. Or just go see this really funny, endearing comedy, which opens in theaters, Friday August 26, 2011.

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August 17, 2011 | 12:40 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘One Day’ review

Posted by Joan Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Twenty years. Two people…

‘One Day’ is directed by Lone Scherfig (An Education) and adapted for the screen by David Nicholls from his bestselling novel of the same name.

After spending one day together - July 15, 1988, their college graduation and St. Swithin’s Day. (It’s an English holiday that happens to fall every year on July 15th) - Emma Morley (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter Mayhew (Jim Sturgess) begin a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Emma is a working class girl who wants to be a writer. The press notes say that…she wants to change the world. Unfortunately the film never shows Emma doing anything that suggests this. I did see her work as a waitress in a Taco Restaurant and then later on, she becomes a teacher/children’s author. But save the world…Nope…not even close.

Dexter on the other hand, is a rich, charming, womanizing dude who thinks that the world is his own personal playground. He likes coke, alcohol and sleeping around. This was very present in the film…over and over and over again. Dexter winds up hosting a super cheesy television show. And even though he acts like an ass, we know that deep down; he is one of the good guys.

Otherwise why would a sweet, innocent girl like Emma, love him? Beats me…

In the next two decades, key moments of their relationship are experienced over several July 15ths. Together and apart, we see Dexter and Emma through their friendship and fights, hopes, missed opportunities and their relationships with other people.

And that pin-points the film’s major problem for me…I just didn’t care about these two characters…Together or apart, I didn’t find Emma or Dexter all that interesting. And when you are expecting this great love story, that’s a big problem.

Story continues after the jump.

I knew Emma was changing by her different haircuts. Dexter as well had different ‘dos’ but for most of the film (except the last forty minutes) he stayed basically the same…a boring, selfish jerk.

On another note, I think they should have cast an English actress for the part of Emma. She is after all, a very well known English character created by a British novelist. Guess there weren’t any English actresses available.

This is another rare occasion where the ‘Two Jews On Film’ actually agree. Check out our video and see how many bagels we gave this film.

‘One Day’ opens in theaters Friday, August 19, 2011. Love to know what you think.

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August 4, 2011 | 11:04 am

Two Jews on Film give “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” five out of five bagels

Posted Joan Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

What makes ‘Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’ so unique is that it’s the first live-action film to be told from the point of view of a sentient animal—A chimpanzee—named Caesar…brilliantly portrayed by Andy Serkis, the world’s foremost performance capture actor. Andy infuses Caesar with nuance, wisdom and most importantly… heart.

‘Rise Of The Planets Of The Apes’ is an origin story, in the truest sense of the word. It shows us what happens, when experiments in genetic engineering, leads scientists to produce an intelligent ape. The film is a cautionary tale that blends scifi with science.

And thanks to the Rupert Wyatt’s excellent direction along with the great story telling of Amanda Silver and Rick Jaffee, this movie scores on all levels.

At its heart, ‘Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’ is a character driven piece. It’s about humanity’s hubris - our arrogance in thinking that we can twist, push, cheat or circumvent the laws of nature without consequence.

In the original ‘Planet Of The Apes’, Col. Taylor (the late Charleton Heston) stands on the beach, facing the Statue Of Liberty and discovers that he’s been on Earth the whole time and that the apes…have indeed taken over the planet.

Story continues after the jump.

In ‘Rise Of the Planet Of the Apes’, we find out…how this event came to pass.

Will Rodman (James Franco) is a scientist working within a large pharmacceutical corporation, Gen-Sys, conducting genetic research to develop a benign virus that restores damaged human brain tissue. He is committed to finding a cure for Alzheimer’s, a disease that afflicts his father, Charles (John Lithgow)

Franco nails Will’s character…He’s your typical cold and isolated scientist. All of Will’s energy is directed toward his work. Of course that soon changes, when he secretly rescues an orphaned, newborn chimp, from his lab. The chimp is Caesar, and this one ape…destined for ‘greatness’.

Now we can’t expect, a goodlooking scientist like Will, to live with just his elderly dad and a primate. He has to have a love interest, right? It’s still a movie afterall. Luckily, Will meets Caroline (Freida Pinto) a beautiful, Primatologist who adores apes as much as he does.

Weta Digital (‘Avitar and Lord Of The Rings Trilogy’) using their state of the art technology, not only give Caesar and his fellow primates, subtle human tendencies and emotions…but they manage to create a world, that is so real and recognizable…Modern-day, San Franciso. These guys are amazing.

This is a film for people of all ages. But the animal abuse scenes are hard to take. If you bring kids, you might want to tell them to close their eyes. That’s what I did.

Personally, I’m on the side of the apes. Watching ‘Rise Of the Planet of The Apes’ I couldnt help think that there’s only a few hundred gorillas left on the planet. We are coming very close to wiping out a species…actually more than one…

It was one year ago, that John and I started reviewing films…and I’m so happy that for our anniversary episode…‘Two Jews On Films’ are finally in agreement…‘Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’ gets our highest bagel score - It opens in theaters, Friday, August 4, 2011. Don’t miss it.

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July 28, 2011 | 9:56 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Cowboys And Aliens’ review

Posted Joan Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford in 'Cowboys and Aliens'

The year is 1873. The place…New Mexico…A man (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of nowhere. He has no idea who he is or where he is. All he knows is…there’s a thick metal bracelet on his wrist and he can’t remove it.

After fighting off some would-be robbers with a few swift kicks and punches, the Man wanders into the town of Absolution where he finds…

Percy Dolarhyde (Paul Dano) picking fights with anyone in his path. Percy’s dad is a big cattle baron and Percy is a big bully. But this time Percy goes too far. He winds up accidently shooting the town’s Deputy. Not good…

The Sheriff, John Taggard (Keith Carradine) has no choice but to arrest him.

Meanwhile the Man finds out that his name is Jake Lonergan and he’s wanted for robbery and murder. Well, at least he knows his name.

The Sheriff arrests Jake and handicuffs him to Percy. He’s just about to cart both these men off to the Marshal in Santa Fe, when Percy’s daddy, Cattle Baron aka Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde, (Harrison Ford) comes galloping into town to rescue his son.

Story continues after the jump.

But before Dolarhyde can finish saying…‘Sheriff, what the hell do you think you’re doing arresting my boy’...there’s a series of major explosions destroying…well, everything.

To say that the people of Absolution are shocked when they discover that the explosions are coming from…

UFO’S…many, many UFO’s, would be an understatement. The aliens have arrived and they’re not here to sightsee. Oh, besides exploding everything in their path, the aliens have this nasty habit of scooping up the townsfolk (including Percy) using these long, steel harnesses that extend out of their ship…Note: This is a very cool effect.

Anyway, Jake quickly finds out what his metal bracelet is used for.

As the title suggests, ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ is about Cowboys & Aliens…(And some really cool Comanches). There’s also very interesting supporting characters such as Sam Rockwell as Doc who’s wife has been abducted and the mysterious, Oliva Wilde (Ella Swenson) who is not quite what she appears to be.

The aliens in this film are some of the most scariest, ugliest, meanest, aliens I have ever seen…in a film that is. These folks from Outer Space think of us Earthlings as…mere ‘insects’ and they are here for only one thing…Gold…and what better place to find some, than…the old West.

I absolutely loved this film. Jon Favreau did an excellent job directing. Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig created complex, interesting characters who you care about.

The film has great tension, great action, great special effects and yes…there were many writers…five or six…and usually that is not a good sign…But in this case, it definitely paid off.

The ‘Two Jews On Film’ once again disagreed. I gave Cowboys & Aliens five bagels out of five. Check out our video to see how many bagels John awarded this film. It opens in theaters this Friday, July 30, 2011.

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July 21, 2011 | 10:43 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’ Review

Posted Joan Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Chris Evans as Captain America

‘Captain America, The First Avenger’, directed by Joe Johnston (Wolfman) is the latest superhero to come out of the ‘Marvel’ stable.

The year is 1941…Hitler and his merry band of Nazis are storming through Europe.

One particular Nazi, Johann Schmidt aka Red Skull (Hugo Weaving) is in Norway searching for an ancient artifact known as Odin’s Tesseract…

This artifact is very, very powerful. We know this, because of the small print written on it… ...not meant for human eyes…Apparently, the Tesseract gives a person unlimited power. And who is the last person on Earth you’d want to have this power…Mr. Red Skull of course. He’s so evil that even Hitler wants him gone.

Anyway, Red Skull finds the Tesseract and I’m sure you can guess the rest.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans)a scrawny, asthmatic dude, with enough illnesses to keep his health insurance premiums at an all time high, wants nothing more than to join the Army and defend America against the evil doers. Unfortunately for Rogers, no matter how many times he tries to enlist, the Army keeps rejecting him. That is until…

Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci), a kindly German scientist, comes along. He sees something in Steve…an inner goodness. So with Erskine’s pull, Steve becomes a soldier in the United States Army. He also agrees to undergo an experimental procedure that the good doctor and inventor extraordinaire, Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) came up with. If this experiment works, Steve will become a ‘Super Soldier’.

Story continues after the jump.

Quick note…Red Skull underwent the same procedure, but things didn’t turn out exactly right…Hint: Schmidt now has a big Red Skull and a face that would scare even his mother.

Luckily for Steve, the procedure turned out differently. Quicker than you can boil water or fry an egg, Rogers goes from being a puny, sickly fellow to having a body that Schwarzenegger, in his body building days, would envy…Plus he can beat up alot of people at the same time, jump really high and leap really far.

The Army considers him a ‘human weapon’ and one that is way too valuable to risk in combat. They decide to use Rogers as a celebrity to sell Bonds in order to raise money for the war. Backed by a chorus line of hot, sexy USO dancers, and dressed in a red, white and blue costume, Steve hits the road. He tours all over the United States and Captain America is a big hit. He’s loved by everyone. Alas, all this attention and fame, doesn’t make him a ‘happy boy’. Steve wants to fight. And what Steve wants, Steve gets.

When his tour takes him to Europe, Rogers finds out that his childhood friend, Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) and his men have been captured by Red Skull and his soldiers known as Hydra. Steve disobeys the orders of his Commander in Chief, Col. Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) and winds up rescuing not only Bucky but several hundred captured soldiers. Captain America is finally a real hero…And this is just the beginning.

Steve and his men must now stop Red Skull before he uses the Tesseract to wipe out much of the Planet.

That’s alot for any man to handle…even a Super one. It’s a good thing, Steve has someone to flirt with. She’s the tough, no nonsence, beautiful British Agent, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell). This being the 1940’s, poor Steve doesn’t even get to first base with Peggy.

‘Captain America’ is shot in 3D and it really didn’t have to be. The special effects aren’t that great and there’s something very simplistic about this film. Maybe you have to be a fan of the ‘Captain America’ comic books to appreciate the movie, but I think a film should stand on its own…and in my opinion, this one didn’t.

John and I actually came pretty close with our ‘bagel rating’. The film opens in theaters, Friday July 22, 2011.

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July 14, 2011 | 12:36 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Harry Potter and Deathy Hallows: Part II’ Review

Posted Joan Alperin Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

‘Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows-Part 2 is the final adventure in the ‘Harry Potter’ series. The film is directed brilliantly by David Yates and cleverly adapted for the screen by Steve Klos.

This is not only the last film in the franchise, but it is the best.

From the first shot…where we see Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) holding his sword up to the darkened sky, followed by Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) staring out into the gloomy courtyard at Hogwarts, you know…you’re in for one great ride.

For those of you who haven’t read the books (if that’s even possible) here’s what’s happening…more or less.

The Dark Lord aka Voldemort, now has the Elder Wand (that’s the mother of all wands) and things are very very bad, for bascially anyone, that’s not an ‘evil doer’.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters (no, they’re not a heavy metal band) are about to take over the entire wizarding world. But luckily for the muggles, Harry (Daniel Ratcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) are not going to let that happen.

They set out on a quest to find and destroy the remaining three horcruxes that contain pieces of Voldemort’s soul. Their journey takes them to cavernous deadly vaults, Gringotts Bank, to the halls of Hogwarts…Well basically to a lot of places…where the trio face danger, monsters, and really nasty people.

Voldemort and Harry are in the ultimate battle between good and evil. Every scene is filled with edge of your seat tension, great action, and of course, lots of magic…But in the end, it’s about the characters…Harry, his friends, his classmates and his beloved teachers.

Story continues after the jump.

Yes, there’s epic battles, but what stood out for me the most…is the story comes full circle. Questions are answered. We find out why Harry and Voldemort are connected to each other…and see characters in a new light…Severus Snape for one. Alan Rickman gives a beautiful, complex performance as Snape.

And Ralph Fiennes of course is absolutely amazing. Yes, he’s wearing a lot of makeup, but it’s his brilliant acting that makes Voldemort, absolutely terrifying.

Not to give too much a way, but the ending brought tears to my eyes. Okay, it doesn’t take much to bring tears to my eyes, but it was a beautiful ending…The film ends where it all began…more or less.

All the characters are back…Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange) Robbie Coltrane (Rubeus Hagrid), Michael Gambon (Professor Dumbledore), Maggie Smith (Prof. Minerva McGonagall) and Julie Walters (Molly Weasley) just to name a few.

I gave ‘Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows - Part 2 five bagels out of five and John almost matched my score…after some arm twisting. The film opens in theaters Friday, July 15, 2011.

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