July 28, 2011 | 9:56 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Cowboys And Aliens’ review

Posted Joan Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

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Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford in 'Cowboys and Aliens'

The year is 1873. The place…New Mexico…A man (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of nowhere. He has no idea who he is or where he is. All he knows is…there’s a thick metal bracelet on his wrist and he can’t remove it.

After fighting off some would-be robbers with a few swift kicks and punches, the Man wanders into the town of Absolution where he finds…

Percy Dolarhyde (Paul Dano) picking fights with anyone in his path. Percy’s dad is a big cattle baron and Percy is a big bully. But this time Percy goes too far. He winds up accidently shooting the town’s Deputy. Not good…

The Sheriff, John Taggard (Keith Carradine) has no choice but to arrest him.

Meanwhile the Man finds out that his name is Jake Lonergan and he’s wanted for robbery and murder. Well, at least he knows his name.

The Sheriff arrests Jake and handicuffs him to Percy. He’s just about to cart both these men off to the Marshal in Santa Fe, when Percy’s daddy, Cattle Baron aka Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde, (Harrison Ford) comes galloping into town to rescue his son.

Story continues after the jump.

But before Dolarhyde can finish saying…‘Sheriff, what the hell do you think you’re doing arresting my boy’...there’s a series of major explosions destroying…well, everything.

To say that the people of Absolution are shocked when they discover that the explosions are coming from…

UFO’S…many, many UFO’s, would be an understatement. The aliens have arrived and they’re not here to sightsee. Oh, besides exploding everything in their path, the aliens have this nasty habit of scooping up the townsfolk (including Percy) using these long, steel harnesses that extend out of their ship…Note: This is a very cool effect.

Anyway, Jake quickly finds out what his metal bracelet is used for.

As the title suggests, ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ is about Cowboys & Aliens…(And some really cool Comanches). There’s also very interesting supporting characters such as Sam Rockwell as Doc who’s wife has been abducted and the mysterious, Oliva Wilde (Ella Swenson) who is not quite what she appears to be.

The aliens in this film are some of the most scariest, ugliest, meanest, aliens I have ever seen…in a film that is. These folks from Outer Space think of us Earthlings as…mere ‘insects’ and they are here for only one thing…Gold…and what better place to find some, than…the old West.

I absolutely loved this film. Jon Favreau did an excellent job directing. Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig created complex, interesting characters who you care about.

The film has great tension, great action, great special effects and yes…there were many writers…five or six…and usually that is not a good sign…But in this case, it definitely paid off.

The ‘Two Jews On Film’ once again disagreed. I gave Cowboys & Aliens five bagels out of five. Check out our video to see how many bagels John awarded this film. It opens in theaters this Friday, July 30, 2011.