February 3, 2012 | 1:12 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Chronicle’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

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Chronicle (2012)

Every so often a film surprises me…Sometimes in a good way…Sometimes in a not so good way.

Walking into the screening of ‘Chronicle’ directed by Josh Trank, I was expecting to see a movie that I’ve seen way too many times…teenagers get superpowers and fight evil doers.

Wow, was I happily surprised…Yes…teenagers do get superpowers…It happens when they’re exposed to an alien device, but…

What these three boys do with their superpowers, is what makes ‘Chronicle’, one of the most original, exciting, entertaining, and interesting films, I’ve seen in a long time.

The guys are just your typical dudes dealing with stuff that all teenagers deal with…When they discover that they have the power of telekinesis, nothing really changes for them…They just use it…to have fun…For awhile, anyway.

Matt (Alex Russell) who likes to quote Carl Jung and Schopenhauer wants to follow the rules….Rule #1…We never use our power when we’re angry. Not so easy for…

Andrew (Dane DeHann)...He has major rage issues…But you can’t really blame him. Andrew’s daddy is an abusive alcoholic and his mother is dying a painful death from cancer.

The outgoing Steve (Michael B. Jordan) who’s running for class president, wants to help his new buddy Andrew, come out of his shell and…and oh yeah…lose his virginity.

The film is shot from Andrew’s P.O.V. (‘Cloverfield’, ‘Paranormal Activity’, etc) He’s obsessed with chroniciling his life. As his powers grow, he learns to operate the camera telekinetically, which opens up his entire world. Andrew is able to make the camera float, fly and capture action in a very unique way.

This is especially evident in the flying scenes. You can’t help but feel like you’re up in the clouds with these three guys.

Of course, the film is not just about boys being boys. There’s a very dark side to ‘Chronicle’ which leads to an exhillarating climax.

The actors are all exellent. They make their characters totally believable. And alot of that has to do with the wonderful script written by Trank and Max Landis.

The ‘Two Jews On Film’ were pretty close on this one. Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave ‘Chronicle’ which opens in theatres Friday, February 3, 2012. Don’t miss it.

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January 26, 2012 | 1:00 pm

My Pastrami Mama: The complete first season

Posted by Jay Firestone

What would you do if your mother was a pastrami sandwich?  How long would she keep before getting bitter? Does she come with a side of coleslaw?

All pertinent questions for the first installment of “My Pastrami Mama,” a new Web series brought to you by JewishJournal Mobile.

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January 25, 2012 | 2:15 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘The Grey’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

The Grey (2012)

It takes a lot for a film to truly scare me. I mean, after seeing hundreds and hundreds of movies featuring, knife wielding masked maniacs, cannablistic nuclear families preying on hot teenage girls and demon possessed embroyos, I’ve become kind of blaise about the horror genre.

So many horror films are derative of one another. But I’m happy to say…this is definitely not the case with ‘The Grey’ directed by Joe Carnahan (‘Narc’, ‘The A Team’) and starring the very tall and always excellent, Liam Neeson.

The story is simple. A group of super macho oil workers, including the heartbroken, slightly suicidal, Ottway (Liam Neeson) are travelling to a work site when their plane crashes in the remote Alaska wilderness. By the way this is a very realistic plane crash. I found myself grabbing the arm of the stranger sitting next to me. Luckily he didn’t mind. Anyway…

The survivors must find a way back to civilization before they either freeze to death or die of starvation.

Unfortunately, besides the cold (and it’s really, really cold) and lack of food, they have…one other…not so small problem…Wolves…Big, Bad, Vicious, Ugly, fierce, red eyed…Wolves.

And these furry, grey creatures are extremely…pissed off. Seems the humans have invaded their territory and and to the wolves…this is means war.

These are cunning, determined animals and here’s where the really scary part comes in.

When the men and the audience least expect it, the wolves…Well, I’m not going to tell you. Don’t want to spoil the fun. And yes, ‘The Grey’ is fun. It’s also horrific and totally terrifying.

What makes ‘The Grey’ not just another typical survival film…is the excellent script. The film is written by Carnahan and Ian MacKenzie Jeffers and they’ve created some really interesting characters.

At first, the men hide behind their macho facade, going out of their way not to show any fear. But as the story progresses, their facades peel away and we get to see what’s really underneath.

The supporting cast including including, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Nonso Anozie, Joe Anderson, Ben Bray and James Badge Dale are all excellent.

The wolves are a combination of giant puppet animatronics, CGI and real ones…that are trained of course.

Make sure you stay past the credits…there’s a surprise you don’t want to miss.

I gave ‘The Grey’ 4 and 1/2 bagels out of five. Check out our video to hear John’s wolf imitation and to see how many bagels he gave this film.

‘The Grey’ opens in theatres, Friday January 28, 2012. Don’t miss it.

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January 12, 2012 | 3:18 pm

Two Jews On Film: ‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011)

9/11…All you have to do is say that date and most people will have a reaction…usually an emotional reaction…And for me, that emotion is one of saddness…for the senseless loss that so many people experienced.

And now, ten years after that infamous day, Stephen Daltry has directed a beautiful, moving film about…loss.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ stars first time actor, Thomas Horn. He plays the young boy Oskar, trying to come to terms with his father’s death on 9/11.

What’s amazing about Thomas, is that just like the character Oskar, he too has Asperger’s Syndrom. Horn is in every scene of this film and he’s absolutely riverting.

Apparently Scott Rudin saw him on the tv game show Jeopardy and cast him in the part. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but in any case, Thomas Horn definitely, if he chooses, has a great future ahead of him as an actor.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ is many things…A mystery…a family drama, a quest…even at times, a comedy, but in the end, this is a film about the relationship between a father (Tom Hanks) and his adoring son.

A year after his father’s death in the Twin Towers, Oskar is still ridden with guilt and pain from his loss.

One day, he finds a key in his dad’s closet…And it’s this key, that takes Oskar on an odyssey to discover the lock that the key fits. And of course, he winds up finding something much more profound than he ever could have imagined.

Oskar’s travels take him on a journey throughout New York’s five boroughs and along the way, he runs into some eccentric, wonderful characters, including Viola Davis and Jeffrey Wright, a married couple with their own set of secrets.

He also gets some unexpected help, from his grandmother’s (Zoe Caldwell) mysterious Renter…Max Von Sydow.

Von Sydow will surely get an Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actor. He gives one of the most compelling performances in the film and…he does it…without uttering one single word.

Sandra Bullock plays Linda, Oskar’s mother and although she isn’t in many scenes, her presence is felt throughout the film. In fact, one of the twists has to do with Linda’s relationship with her son.

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ is based on a novel written a few years back by Jonathan Safran Foer and Eric Roth (‘Benjamin Button’) has done an excellent job in adapting it for the screen.

Roth mentioned at the Writer’s Guild Q & A that he wrote 50 drafts of the script. Now that should give hope to all aspiring screenwriters.

In my opinion, I think this movie is a must see for everyone. Simply put, it’s a story about a very special boy, who comes to realize, that even when you lose someone you love, they never really go too far away…

‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ opens in selected theaters, December 25, 2011 and expands to wide release on January 20, 2012. It’s a perfect holiday movie.

‘Two Jews On Film’ are ending the year, disagreeing…as usual…At least about this film.

Check out our video to see our bagel score.

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January 4, 2012 | 4:17 pm

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It (Parody) “Gassy and I’m Bloated” by Smooth-E

Posted by JewishJournal

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December 16, 2011 | 11:46 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

The year is 1891. The place is England…And something really, really bad is about to happen throughout the land….Well to be precise, France and Germany…And there’s only one man that can stop this very, very bad thing…Actually, one man plus several helpers.

Anyway, the man of course is Sir Conan Doyle’s famous detective, Sherlock Holmes.

Okay…So we have anarchists setting off bombs… and people are getting tense. Can you blame them?

Then the Crown Prince Of Austria is found dead and the evidence points to suicide. But Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) deduces that the Prince has been the victim of murder…And that his murder is just a small piece of a much larger puzzle, that eventually will lead to war between France and Germany.

And the man behind the bombings and the Prince’s murder…None other than the very diabolical, very brilliant, and very evil, Professor Moriarty (Jared Allen) aka Sherlock Holmes nemesis and arch enemy.

Of course, Holmes is the only man, clever enough to stop the Professor, from carrying out his masterplan and luckily, he doesn’t have to do it alone.

That’s right, his trusted bff and sidekick, Dr. Watson (Jude Law) is with him every step of the way…Despite the fact, that he’s on his honeymoon, having just married the lovely Mary (Kelly Reilly) and he’s own his . .

Story continues after the jump.

Along with this dynamic duo, director Guy Ritchie has given the boys a beautiful gypsy fortune teller, Madam Simza (Noomi Rapace-the original ‘Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’) and Sherlock’s bro, (the very funny Stephen Fry) to help them along.

Rachel McAdams also makes a brief but noteworthy appearance in the beginning of the film.

‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’, written by Kiernan and Michelle Mulroney, is a perfect blend of humor, mystery and action…

Downey, as always gives it his all. He’s in practically every scene and you can’t help but smile as you watch him ham it up…(but never too much).

I gave ‘Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows’ 3 1/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see what the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ thought of this sequel…

The film opens in theaters Friday, December 16, 2011.

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November 21, 2011 | 2:57 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘My Week with Marilyn’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Michelle Williams and Dougray Scott as Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller respectively on the film set of My Week with Marilyn, which was being filmed in London in October 2010. Photo by David McKears/Wikipedia

When the film ‘My Week With Marilyn’ directed by Simon Curtis, begins…we see Marilyn Monroe on a stage singing ‘That Ole Black Magic’...That’s who I thought it was, anyway.

It actually took me a few seconds before realizing that I was watching not Monroe, but Michelle Williams…That’s how good she is in her portrayal of the damaged, insecure, extremely sensual, extremely vulnerable Hollywood icon/sex symbol known as…Marilyn Monroe. Or to put it simply, Michelle William’s performance blew me away.

And the rest of the film is pretty wonderful as well. ‘My Week With Marilyn’ is based on two memoirs by documentary filmmaker, Colin Clark.

The year is 1957 and Colin (Eddie Redmayne) 23, has a dream…to make movies. So Colin says goodbye to his super wealthy family, leaves his super sized mansion in the country and heads for London.

As soon as the charming Colin arrives, he uses his powers of persuasion to finagle a job with Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) The job…Working as his 3rd assistant director…aka a goofer…on the film ‘The Prince And The Showgirl’ which Olivier is not only starring in, but directing as well. Oh, and the female star just happens to be…

Miss Marilyn Monroe.

Story continues after the jump.

Marilyn arrives in London with her new husband, the great playwright, Arthur Miller (Dongray Scott) as well as her super possessive acting coach, Paula Strasberg (Zoe Wanamaker) and the head of her film company, Milton Greene (Dominic Cooper).

She also brings along all her bad habits which includes pills, tardiness and an extreme fear of not being a good enough actress.

Marilyn’s dependence on The Method are just a few of the things that start to drive Olivier absolutely crazy…while the rest of the cast, including Dame Sybil Thorndike (Judi Dench) seem to be enamored with her.

Of course, the main story here, is the relationship between Colin and Marilyn. Olivier assigns him the job of babysitting Marilyn and it doesn’t take long before Colin falls madly in love with her. Can you blame him? Unfortunately, this upsets his girlfriend, Lucy (Emma Watson) Can you blame her?

Anyway, a real friendship develops between the two of them and for a short time, Marilyn actually feels protected and accepted for who she truly is.

‘My Week With Marilyn’ is a film about love…falling in love for the first time and what it’s like to never really feel loved…even though you are loved by everyone.

The film ends the way it began…Michelle Williams, on stage surrounded by dancers, singing ‘We’re Having A Heat Wave’ and watching her perform…we understand why Marilyn Monroe was and will always be…Hollywood’s greatest sex symbol.

‘A Week With Marilyn’ opens in limited release, Wednesday November 23, 2011. Check out our video to see how many bagels John gave this film. Needless to say, I don’t agree with his rating.

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November 9, 2011 | 2:03 pm

Two Jews on Film: J. Edgar’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Every once in awhile, you experience a performance by an actor that simply blows your mind…And that’s exactly what happened to me, when I watched Leonardo DiCaprio portray J. Edgar Hoover in Clint Eastwood’s new film, ‘J. Edgar’.

What makes a great performance are the subtle things an actor does…things that inform the character…a gesture, a look, body language, the tilt of the head…and DiCaprio obviously understands this…Because he absolutely nails the part.

Equally brilliant, is Armie Hammer (The Social Network) as Clyde Tolson, Hoover’s long time companion, second in command at the FBI and perhaps…his lover. For me, I found their relationship the most interesting aspect of this film.

Okay so anyone can google J. Edgar Hoover and get a slew of facts about the man as well as contrary opinions regarding his sexuality. But one thing is for sure…

Story continues after the jump.

J. Edgar Hoover was a monster…a blackmailing, lying, egotistical, cunning, sexually repressed, control freak who was badly in need of a good shrink.

All you have to do is observe the interaction between J. Edgar and his mother, (the wonderful, Judi Dench) and you’ll understand where J. Edgar got his insanity from. Mother Hoover was a super religious, dominating woman, who brought up her boy to believe that he was a God.

In all fairness, J. Edgar was quite intelligent. He came up with some of the most innovative crime fighting techniques that the FBI still uses today.

And thanks to his infamous ‘Confidential File’ which contained dirt on practically everyone, Hoover managed to stay the head of the FBI for almost 50 years…through 8 different Presidents and three wars.

There are so many good things in Eastwood’s film…the cast of famous historical character we get to meet…Charles Lindberg, the famous gangsters of the 20’s, 30’s, Emma Goldmen, Dorothy Lamour, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Nixon. Eastwood takes us from the early 1900’s right up to the 70’s.

The cast of supporting characters are wonderful, including Naomi Watts as Hoover’s loyal, long time executive assistant, Helen Gandy, who worked by his side most of her adult life.

The only problem I have with the film is that everything feels a bit too tidy…too measured. That might have to do with the screenplay, written by Dustin Lance Black (Milk) I had moments when I found myself wondering what this story would have been like in the hands of some wild Europeon filmmaker.

It’s for that reason I gave ‘J. Edgar’ 4 bagels out of 5…

Also, please check out our video to see how many bagels the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’ gave ‘J. Edgar’ Hint: Once again we weren’t even close.

‘J. Edgar’ opens in theaters, Wednesday November 9, 2011. Put it on your ‘must see’ list for sure.

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November 4, 2011 | 12:02 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Tower Heist’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

All I can say is…thank the Movie Gods for Eddie Murphy…because he single handedly put the funny in this new so-called, comedy entitled, ‘Tower Heist’, directed by Brett Ratner.

So here’s the story in a nut shell…

There’s this super sleazy, super rich, Wall Street dude named, Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda) - No, this film isn’t a fantasy. Sleezy Wall Street dudes really do exist.

Arthur occupies the Penthouse apartment of New York City’s tallest high rise called ‘The Tower’. Arthur is charming, friendly to the staff, loves to play chess with the help and would steal the last penny from his dying mother’s hand if given the chance.
Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller) is the over efficient GM of The Tower. He runs the place like a well oiled machine, making sure the staff caters to the wealthy tenants every whim. Josh and the workers at ‘The Tower’ are one big happy family….Until…

Arthur gets arrested for orchestrating a Ponzi scheme and swindling millions of people out of their life savings, including the entire staff of ‘The Tower.’

Story continues after the jump.

Seems Josh made the mistake of entrusting Arthur with their Pension Fund and now they’re all broke.

There’s only one thing left for Josh to do…TAKE REVENGE.

Here’s where Eddie Murphy comes in and here’s where the movie starts to get funny…Unfortunately, the film gets unfunny whenever Murphy is off screen.

Eddie plays Slide, a wise cracking career criminal. Josh enlists Slide, as well as…his brother-in-law, Charlie (Casey Affleck), the Conceirge at The Tower, Odessa (Gabourey Sidibe) a Jamacian maid who just happens to be an expert safe cracker, a mild mannered businessman, Mr. Sims (Matthew Broderick) who’s just lost his money, his job and his family, along with a few other Tower employees, to rob Shaw’s Penthouse where he has supposedly hidden $20 million dollars in cash.

Not a bad premise…

But a premise doesn’t make a film. ‘Tower Heist’ is not as funny as it could be nor is it as clever as you want it to be. It’s for that reason, the ‘Two Jews On Film didn’t give it a very high bagel score.

Check out our video to see what John thought about it. Hint: He gave it one less bagel than I did.

‘Tower Heist’ opens in theaters Friday, November 4, 2011. Wait for the DVD.

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October 27, 2011 | 4:10 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘In Time’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

‘In Time’ is a sci/fi thriller written, directed and produced by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca)...Maybe that’s the problem. You know what they say about wearing too many hats…

Okay, when the film begins, we discover that we are now in the future….A future where you stop aging at 25…(Guess that put a big dent in the Botox industry). Your mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather etc, all look 25 so it’s hard to tell if you’re hitting on someones mother or daughter. You get the idea.

After 25, you get one free year to live…After that, you have to work for every extra second, minute, hour, day…If you want to eat, have a place to live, you have to pay with ‘time’...Your time. Unless of course, you come from time.

In other words…‘Do you have a minute’ takes on a whole new meaning.

People are now separated by time-zones.

Story continues after the jump.

Everyone has a bar code on their arm that glows green. When you gain time, the numbers go up…lose time, the numbers go down.

Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) lives minute-to-minute in the Ghetto known as Dayton. But one day, everything changes for him. A stranger, named Henry Hamilton (Matt Bomer) gives him a ‘century’. It seems Henry doesn’t want to live anymore.

Unfortunately, the gift comes too late to save Will’s mother (Olivia Wilde). She runs out of time and keels over dead right in front of him. After that, things go from bad to worse for our guy.

Will is unjustly accused of murdering Henry and he’s forced to go on the run…He steals a car and heads for the rich side of town…New Greenwich. Far from the ghetto, the wealthy leisurely stroll down the streeet, covering their bar codes with elbow length gloves and spend their days gambling and looking bored.

Will checks into a luxurious suite (after all time is no longer a problem) buys a hot sports car and goes to a fancy casino where he meets poor little rich girl, Sylvia (Amanda Seyfried). Together the two of them decide the system is corrupt, the world is unfair and they go on a Bonnie & Clyde rampage to change things.

Sounds exciting? Well it’s not.

First of all, when you create a world like Niccols did, you have to explain how and why it all came about. I mean, did the huge pharmaceutical giants just sit idly by while disease and aging was wiped out? Who came up with the idea to genetically alter human beings? I’m sure the religious groups had no problem with it.

Also Timberlake and Seyfried have absolutely no chemistry together. Neither one of them, are very exciting to watch. Looking pretty isn’t enough to sustain this muddled SciFi flick. There are some interesting moments, but unfortunately, the film becomes one big monotonous chase, after awhile.

I did like Gillian Murphy as the timekeeper. Murphy is a by-the book cop, who even though knows that the system sucks, he’s still determined to do his job.

‘In Time’ opens in theaters, Friday, October 28, 2011. This time, John and I actually agree on how many bagels this film should get…Well, almost agree.

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October 18, 2011 | 3:54 pm

‘Welcome home Gilad’ video featuring Matisyahu’s ‘One Day’

Posted by JewishJournal

Photo by REUTERS/ PMO/
Handout

We’ve seen the photo slideshow, but for some reason, this unofficial mix to Matisyahu’s “One Day,” just says it all. 

Enjoy.

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October 13, 2011 | 10:09 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘The Big Year’ Review,

Posted by Joan Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

What does a Fork tailed Flycatch, a Yellow Crested Finch and a Pink Footed Goose have in common with Jack Black, Owen Wilson and Steve Martin? They are all in a new comedy called ‘The Big Year’, directed by David Frankel (Devil Wears Prada).

The Big Year refers to a real life competition where birders (people who are obsessed with our feathery friends) race to see, who can spot the most species of birds, within a calender year.

Sounds exciting? Well if it does, then this is the film for you to see.

When ‘The Big Year’ begins, we meet three very different men…who share the same dream…to win this competition.

Stu Preissler (Steve Martin) is a very sucessful businessman, who founded his own company. Now, Stu wants to retire to his beautiful home in the woods of Colorado with his wife, Edith(JoBeth Williams) Stu’s had it with the corporate rat race. Unfortunately, just when he thought he was out, they (Stu’s business associates, Kevin Pollak and Joel McHale) keep pulling him back in…

Story continues after the jump.

Brad Harris (Jack Black) is a discontented, code-writer (aren’t they all) who hates his job. All Harris wants, is to be the best bird-watcher he can be.

And finally, there’s Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson) a very successful contractor, who holds the record of having seen 732 different species of birds in the course of one calendar year. Kenny equates his title to that of Joe DiMaggios’s 56 game hitting streak. Bostick will do anything and everything to hold onto his title..even if it means screwing up his marriage to the lovely, Jessica (Rosamind Pike).

Okay, so to sum up…We have three men who are passionate about birds…lots of male bonding…even some female, male bonding and of course…birds…beautiful, colorful and expressive birds. And I mustn’t forget the incredible scenery. ‘The Big Year’ was shot was shot in Tofino, Osoyoos, Whistler, British Columbia, Upstate New York,Fire Island, Joshua Tree and the Florida Everglades.

Does all that add up to a super funny comedy? Not so much. But the film did make me chuckle several times.

I gave the film more bagels, of course, then John…but we weren’t too far apart. Check out our video to see the final count.

‘The Big Year’ opens in theaters, Friday, October 14, 2011.

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October 6, 2011 | 10:05 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Real Steel’ review [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

"Real Steel" poster

The year is 2020. Things look pretty much the same as they do now…Except in the world of boxing. Humans have evolved to the point where they no longer get excited by watching men and women pummel each other. Score one for us.

What we have instead is ‘Robot Boxing’ which I have to say is…really, really cool…especially the way it’s depicted in this new fantasy, action film, called ‘Real Steel’ directed by Shawn Levy.

First of all, these ‘robot boxers’ aren’t your everyday garden variety robots. These animatronic, mechanical men are over 8 feet tall, made of steel and each one, has his own very unique personality. And wow, can they box.

When ‘Real Steel’ opens, we meet, Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman) a washed up fighter who finds himself in a world where he doesn’t fit in. No longer a boxer, Charlie makes his living hustling. He travels from one seamy underground boxing venue to the next, scoring fights for his low-end bots that he’s pieced together.

After his last robot gets destroyed at a County Fair boxing match, run by super sleavy ex boxer/promoter, Ricky (the wonderful Kevin Durand) Charlie desperately needs money…not only to buy another robot, but to pay off his gambling debts.

Charlie makes his way to Tallet’s gym and to his girlfriend, Bailey Tallet. Her father trained Charlie back in the day…Now she helps him rebuild his robots and rest his weary bones, whenever he comes into town.

Only this time, Bailey has had it with Charlie and his fighting bots. She’s spent years giving Charlie money and now she’s not only broke but on the verge of losing her gym.

Story continues after the jump.

As fate would have it, Charlie finds out that he’s a father. Backstory moment: After charlie broke up with late girlfriend, she gave birth to a boy, Max (Dakota Goyo). Max is now eleven and the deceased girlfriend’s sister, Debra (Hope Davis) and her wealthy husband, Marvin (James Rebhorn) want custody of him. Got all that?

Charlie, being the wheeler-dealer that he is, agrees to give them Max…for a price…$100,000. Now you can’t really blame him…He doesn’t even know the boy and he desperately needs the money, so he can buy a new robot.

Marvin agrees on one conditioner…Charlie has to keep Max for the summer so he and his wife can go off on their planned Italian vacation. Charlie relunctantly agrees.

Now this arrangement doesn’t sit at all well with Max… The kid feels abandoned by his father and he doesn’t want anything to do with him. And Charlie…well he probably can’t even spell the word…nuturing. He is totally clueless when it comes to being a dad.

‘Real Steel’ is the story of the ‘underdog’...It’s also the story of three abandoned beings…Charlie, Max and Atom, the little robot that nobody wanted that come together and surprise the world and they surprise each other.

This film has brilliantly designed robots, edge of your seat boxing matches…and a robot…doing the ‘Robot’. It’s a movie that will have you smiling way after the credits come on the screen.

‘Real Steel’ is a film for anyone who’s connected to their ‘inner kid’.

I gave ‘Real Steel’ 4 1/2 bagels out of 5. John as usual, had a different opinion. Check out our video to see his bagel score.

‘Real Steel’ opens in theaters Friday, Oct. 7.

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September 22, 2011 | 10:20 am

Two Jews on Film give competing ‘bagel’ ratings to ‘Moneyball’ [VIDEO]

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Brad Pitt in 'Moneyball'

First thing I must say is…I basically know nothing about sports. I do watch the Super Bowl but only for the commercials. That said, I absolutely loved ‘Money Ball’. Which goes to prove, that you don’t have to be a baseball fan, to think that this film, written by Aaron Sorkin and Steve Zaillan and directed by Bennett Miller, is absolutely wonderful.

Brad Pitt portrays real life Baseball legend, Billy Beanne. I’m sure there are many people out there that have no idea who Mr. Beanne is…I being one of them. But I do now. Beanne, once a promising baseball player, is the General Manager of the Oakland A’s. But not just any General Manager.

When ‘Moneyball’ begins Brad Pitt says…‘There are rich teams…There are poor teams…Then there is us’.

The year is 2002. The Oakland A’s has a payroll of 40 million dollars…while the Yankees’s payroll is $126 million. More money buys better players. Billy Beanne has to find a competitive advantage when it comes to assembling a winning team.

He doesn’t have alot of cash…but what he does have is…Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) a Harvard graduate with a degree in economics. So what the hell does Peter know about baseball?. Turns out plenty. Brand used statiscal data to analyze the value of a baseball player. He was able to see what the Scouts couldn’t…What a player did last year, was not what he’d do the following year. Sound boring? Trust me…It’s not.

Story continues after the jump.

Billy Beanne changed the face of baseball. He went against tradition and turned Baseball on its ear.

Billy and Peter’s relationship is the heart of this film and Brad and Jonah are fantastic together. Sorkin and Zaillan’s brilliant dialogue gives ‘Moneyball’ (based on Michael Lewis’s book) its humanity…Making it a movie for sports lovers as well as non sports lovers.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is almost unrecognizable as the Oakland A’s Manager, Art Howe. He totally transforms himself. You think you’re watching an old man instead of an actor in his 40’s. That’s how good he is.

Jonah Hill gives a beautiful, subtle performance and for the first time, I really enjoyed watching him.

As for Brad Pitt, well when Oscar nominations come around, I know his name will be the first one called. That’s how excellent his work is in this film.

I gave ‘Moneyball’ five bagels out of five with everything on them. As for the other half of ‘Two Jews On Film’, John, well he had a very different opinion. Luckily I get to write the reviews and therefore, I have the last word. If you’d like to know his bagel score, check out our video.

‘Moneyball’ opens in theaters Friday September 23, 2011. Do not miss this gem.

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September 15, 2011 | 9:22 am

Two Jews on Film: ‘Drive’ review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz (video by Joan and John Schwartz)

Ryan Gosling is ‘Driver’. He drives…fast…very fast…If you’re a burglar, he’s your go-to guy. Just make sure you get the job done in five minutes. Because that’s all you got…One minute late, Driver is gone.

Now, driving a get-a-way car is Driver’s night job. His day job is slightly more glamorous. Driver is a stunt driver for movies…That is, when he’s not working as a mechanic, for Shannon (Bryan Cranston) who just happens to be the Driver’s agent and manager as well.

Shannon is a man with a dream. He wants to fund a stock car for Driver to race on the professional circut. Enter…Bernie (Albert Brooks) a former movie producer, who is now a full blown crook tied to the mob. Yes they are still around…Anyway, after seeing Driver in action at the speedway, Bernie insists that his childhood friend and business partner, Nino (Ron Pearlman) join them in this venture. Shannon has no choice, but to agree. He’s not very fond of Nino. Afterall, a while back the dude fractured Shannon’s pelvis.

Meanwhile, when he’s not driving, Driver spends alot of time with his neighbor, Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son. Driver likes Irene alot. We know this because he looks deep into her eyes, while cheesy music plays in the background. But before they can sail off into the sunset together, Irene’s husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac) is released from prison. Bummer…

Now it turns out, Standard owes these two nasty guys (who coincidentally happen to be Bernie and Nino) alot of money and if he doesn’t pay it back, Irene and her son might meet a very bad fate.

Story continues after the jump.

The Driver of course, will do anything to protect Irene and her son…So he agrees to help Standard get the money he owes.

I won’t tell you what how or what happens next. Wouldn’t want to spoil this over the top, excessively violent, borderline cartoonish film, directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (The Pusher) Nicolas is a Danish dude, who I think wants very badly to be the next Quentin Tarrantino. Unfortunately I don’t see that happening…Not with this film, anyway.

I don’t have a problem with violence, but when you hear bones crack, again and again and again as Driver pulvarizes some poor guy’s face…Well, I wasn’t the only one in the audience laughing.

John and I once again agree…(Now I’m really starting to worry)...Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave this film.

‘Drive’ opens in theaters Friday, September 16, 2011. Wait for the dvd.

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September 9, 2011 | 7:23 pm

Two Jews on Film: ‘Contagion’ Review

Posted By Joan Alperin Schwartz (Video by Joan and John Schwartz)

'Contagion' opens in theaters Friday September 9, 2011.

An international traveler reaches into the snack bowl at an airport bar before passing her credit card to a waiter. A business meeting begins with a round of handshakes. A man coughs on a crowded bus.

One contact. One instant. And a lethal virus is transmitted.

Great premise. Great beginning. but unfortunately, that’s not enough to make a great film.

‘Contagion’ directed by Steven Soderbergh and written by Scott Z Burns (The Informant) succeeds in showing us how fast a virus can spread. It also makes you think that becoming an agoraphobic isn’t such a bad idea.

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns to Minneapolis from a business trip in Hong Kong. Two days later, she’s dead in the ER and the doctors tell her shocked and grieving husband (Matt Damon) that they have no idea why.

Soon other people start to exhibit the same mysterious symptoms: hacking coughs and fever, followed by seizures, brain hemorrhage (ouch) and ultimately…death. Not a pretty way to go.

Quickly this nasty virus spreads….Chicago, London, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, China, and Los Angeles. The number of cases quickly multiply…one case becomes four, then sixteen, then hundreds, thousands, and finally millions.

A global pandemic explodes. Okay, sounds exciting, right? Not so much.

Story continues after the jump.

It doesn’t take long for ‘Contagion’ to get bogged down in scientific mumbo jumbo, government conspiracy theories…thanks to blogger Jude Law, and the obligatory B story line of Matt Damon finding out his dead wife cheated on him and his daughter pissed off that she can’t lock lips with her dorky boyfriend.

I love pandemic movies and I was really expecting to love this one. Unfortunately, I found my mind wandering…thinking about Kate Winslett’s excellent ‘American’ accent. Miss Winslett plays Dr. Erin Mears, a CDC employee sent out into the field by her collegue Dr. Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) to try and stop the virus from spreading. Fat chance of that happening.

The rest of the cast, including Marion Cotillard (Dr. Leonora Orantes)aren’t really given alot to do…except to look concerned and then look very, very concerned, as the death count rises.

John and I actually come pretty close in our bagel rating. Check out our video to see how many bagels we gave ‘Contagion’.

The film opens in theaters Friday September 9, 2011.

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