February 8, 2013 | 10:40 am

Review: ‘Side Effects’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

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When we meet Emily (Rooney Mara) she is picking up her husband, Martin (Channing Tatum) from prison.  He was sentenced to four years for inside trading.

Once living the high life, the couple are now reduced to sharing a small apartment in a not so very fashionable New York City neighborhood.

Martin takes this all in stride.  He believes that one day soon, he'll be back on top.

Emily, on the other hand, is not doing too good.  That's especially obvious when she drives her car into a brick wall and winds up in the hospital.

 

 

After her failed suicide attempt, psychiatrist, Jonathan Banks (Jude Law) is called in to consult on Emily's case.  Desperate not to be hospitalized, Emily agrees to a regimen of therapy and antidepressants.

When the first set of pills don't work, Banks prescribes a new medication that quiets her demons.  Unfortunately, the side effects of the drug has chilling consequences for Emily, her husband and even for...Banks.

Side Effects, directed by Oscar winner Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brockovich, Sex, Lies and Videotape) and written by Scott Z. Barnes (Contagion, The Bourne Ultimatum) is what I'd call a provocative thriller filled with suspense and and twists and turns that you won't see coming.

You really have to pay close attention to what's going on.  In other words, don't leave to buy popcorn.

The cast,including Catherine Zeta Jones as Emily's former shrink are all excellent and the film even manages to get satrical in regards to the harmeuctical industry and our pill popping society.

I gave 'Side Effects' 3 1/2 bagels out of 5.  The film opens Friday, February 9, 2012 and if you're a fan of Soderbergh and this genre, definitely see it.

Watch our video to find out John's thoughts and his bagel score.

 

 

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Let us know what you think.  Thanks everyone.

February 6, 2013 | 6:53 pm

Review: ‘Identity Thief’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Sandy Patterson (the always likable Jason Bateman)  is a Denver account rep at an investment firm run by Harold Cornish (Jon Favreau) who delights in telling Sandy that he can be replaced one day by...an APP.

Luckily for Sandy, he has a wife, Trish (Amanda Peet) and two young daughters that love him no matter how much money he doesn't make.

But Sandy's fortune is about to change...for the good and the bad.

 

 

First the good.  A group of fed up investors at his firm decide to start their own company and they want Sandy to join them. Which means, Sandy's salary has just gone from $50,000 a year to $250,000.  With another baby on the way, Sandy and his family couldn't be happier.

Now for the bad...Unbeknownst to Sandy, his identity has been stolen by a really obnoxious woman named, Dana (Melissa McCarthy) who resides in Florida.

Dana has already maxed at one of Sandy's credit cards to the tune of 12 thousand dollars. If that's not bad enough, she's wanted by the cops for assalt and has jumped bail.

Before the real Sandy can settle in at his new firm, the cops come to arrest him.  Seems Dana aka Sandy is also wanted by the Feds.  This time it's for selling drugs and guns.

The real Sandy tries to convince the police and his boss, who wants to fire him, that this is all a mistake..that his identity has been stolen.  The cops aren't very sympathic.  In fact, they chide him for having a 'girl's name'...A not so funny running joke.

Somehow Sandy convinces them to give him one week to travel to Florida and bring back his imposter.

It doesn't take long for 'Identity Thief' to become a road pic, filled with lots of outrageous, over the top, super vulgar antics, including car chases, gun battles, kidnapping, lots of drinking, and some really gross sex scenes.

 What this comedy doesn't have is COMEDY.

This film is just not funny.  It relies on cheap tricks passing as humor and then towards the end, the filmmakers go for cheap sentimentality.

'Identity Thief' directed by Seth Gordon and written by Craig Mazin opens in theatres, Friday February 8, 2012.  I gave it 2 dry bagels out of 5. And we all know how bagel generous I am, but not this time.

Check out our video for John's bagel score and for more of our witty banter.

 

 

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Let us know what you think of this film if you decide to see it.  Thanks everyone

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January 29, 2013 | 5:08 pm

Review: ‘Stand Up Guys’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

There are many reasons to see this quirky, independent, funny, touching, action, comedy...but the main ones are...Al Pacino and Christopher Walken.  They are fantastic. Both of these fine actors give tour de force performances in their respective roles.

Al is Vall, a 60+ year old career criminal who's just been released from prison after serving twenty-eight years, for refusing to give up one of his close criminal associates.

His BFF, Doc (Christopher Walken) picks him up at the prison and the two guys spend the next few hours, talking about their glory days, drinking, popping pills and visiting a whore house.

But that's not all.  They wind up breaking out their old pal, Hirsch (Alan Arkin).from a nursing home.  From there things get even wilder. They guys steal a car and prove that despite their age, their capacity for mayhem is still very much alive and well.

It doesn't take long before bullets start to fly, as the men make a hilariously valiant effort, to compensate for the decades of crime, drugs and sex, they've missed.

But it's not all fun and games.  One of these old friends is keeping a dangerous secret.  Not to spoil anything, let's just say it has to do with a very powerful, very angry, mob boss bent on revenge.

"Stand Up Guys' which opens in theatres February 1, 2013 directed by Fisher Stevens and written by first time screenwriter, Noah Haidle is a must see for anyone who loves great acting, great dialogue and a great story.

I absolutely loved this film and gave it 41/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see John's score and for our usual off the wall banter.

 

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Thanks everyone...And let us know what you think about 'Stand Up Guys'.

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January 24, 2013 | 6:03 pm

Review: ‘Parker’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Parker (Jason Statham) is a thief...One of the best around.  But he's not just a thief.  He's a thief with a code...Do what you say...If you don't...there will be consequences.

 

 

Parker demands absolute loyalty and strict adherence to the plan from his crew.  Unfortunately that's not what he gets from fellow thieves, Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce)  and Ross (Clifton Collins, Jr.)

'Parker' directed by Academy Award nomineeTaylor Hackford, ('Ray') starts out with a daring robbery at the Ohio State Fair that doesn't go so well.  Thanks to the recklessness of one of his men, someone dies.

This leads Parker very pissed off at his crew and declines their invitation to do another job. He just wants his share of the take and to be rid of them. 

His gang however, has another idea. They want to pool all the money and invest it in a major jewel heist.

So when Parker refuses to give up his share, they shoot him and leave him for dead on the side of a deserted road. Lucky for Parker, a very nice couple comes along and saves his life.

Well if they didn't, there would be a movie right?

Even though Parker isn't fully recovered, he wants one thing and one thing only...Revenge.

No one can stop him...Not even his girlfriend, Claire (Emma Booth) or her father and Parker's partner, Hurley (Nick Nolte),

He traces the gang to glitzy Palm Beach where he finds out, they are planning to rob $50 million dollars of jewels.

Needling to discover where the gang is hiding out, Parker poses as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a home.

And guess who's his real estate agent?  It's Miss J Lo, who winds up being extremely helpful to Parker, thanks to her extensive knowledge of Palm Beach..

You can imagine what happens next.  Afterall this is a Jason Statham movie.  That's right...lots of violence, fighting, and of course...lots and lots of...death.

'Parker' was written by John J. McLaughlin ('Black Swan' and 'Hitchcock') based on the novel, 'Flashfire' by Richard Stark aka Donald Westlake. 

It's basically mindless entertainment.  There aren't any surprises and the film gives you two hours of escapist fun...Personally I'd wait to see it on Netflix.

I gave 'Parker' 21/2 bagels out of 5. The film opens Friday January 25, 2012. 

Check out our video to find out John's score and hear more of our banter.

 

 

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January 16, 2013 | 8:03 pm

Review: ‘The Broken City’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The broken city, in this character driven crime thriller is...New York, aka Manhattan, aka The Big Apple.

In this fictitous New York City, The not so honorable, Nicolas Hostetler (Russell Crowe) is the Mayor...He's as charming as he is...corrupt.

When the film opens, we see cop, Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) kill a rapist. According to Taggart, he shot him in self defense.

The public is outraged when the court decides that there's not enough evidence against Taggart to bring him to trial. But even though he beats the murder charge, Mayor Hostetler, has no choice but to ask for the policeman's resignation.

Fast forward to seven years later.

Taggart is barely getting by as a private investigator, mainly because he never asks his clients for money upfront and then they his refuse to pay him.  Wonder why!

But even though the dude is broke, he does have a very beautiful girlfriend, Natalie (Natalie Martinez) who just happens to be an aspiring actress.  The couple are so in love and in lust, they don't even mind living in a broken down apartment.

So life isn't too bad for Taggart.  That is until...

The Mayor, after not seeing the cop for years, calls Taggart out of the blue and hires him to follow his beautiful wife, Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones) The Mayor, supposedly, thinks she's having an affair. 

Sounds like a fun movie? Unfortunately, not that much.

 The film directed by Allen Hughes, one half of The Hughes Brothers ('Menace 2 Society;) is something you've seen over and over again.  The story and the characters are very familiar and not in an exciting way.

Having said that...There are a couple of interesting twists in the film.

One involves, Councilman Jack Valenti (Barry Pepper) as the newcomer, who's running against the Mayor in the upcoming election and the other has to do with the Police Comissioner (Jeffrey Wright) who seems to dislike everybody.

As far as the acting goes, Russell Crowe is quite good.  Zeta-Jones and Wahlberg do what they always do.  She looks beautiful and he's Mister Tough, Vulnerable Guy.

So if you're curious, wait to see it when it comes to Netflix or cable.

John and I are actually in agreement.  We gave 'Broken City' which opens in theatres, Friday January 18, 2012, a low  2 bagels out of 5 score.

Check out our video for more of our silly banter.

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Thanks everyone.

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January 10, 2013 | 12:41 pm

Review: ‘Gangster Squad’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The year ... 1949... The place ... Los Angeles... and ruthless, sadistic, meglomaniac, Jewish gangster, Mickey Cohen (the brilliant Sean Penn), runs the show in this town.

We're talking drugs, guns, prostitutes, and (if he had his way) every wire bet placed west of Chicago would fall under his domain.

The guy is ruthless and a total nut job, completely lacking in charm. He's definitely no Michael Correleone.

To get an idea how Cohen's mind works, at some point in the film he yells to his crew of killers, ''You heard of Manifest Destiny? That's when you take what you can, when you can ... And I'm gonna take it all and not just because I can, but because this is my destiny...Los Angeles is my destiny."

Cohen is a thug. He doesn't even know which fork to use for the salad. And the guy likes to eat out a lot. So what does he do? Cohen hires an etiquette coach (Emma Stone). Of course, she also becomes his unfortunate lover.

So how do you stop a monster who has practically every politician, cop and judge in his pocket?

Luckily, Chief Of Police Parker (Nick Nolte) has come up with a plan. He recruits ex-war hero and LAPD Sgt. John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) to put together a secret squad to bring Cohen down. 

It doesn't take long for O'Mara to assemble the best of the best: Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who just happens to be in love with Cohen's girl, electronics wiz Conwell Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi), sharp shooter Max Kennard (Robert Patrick), his side-kick Navidad Ramirez (Michael Pena) and Officer Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie) who patrols the streets of South Central.

O'Mara's motto: "We're not solving a case here. We're going to war. And it's guerilla style war. Their unofficial name is ...'The Gangster Squad.'"

"Gangster Squad" is directed by Ruben Fleischer ("Zombieland") and written by Will Beal. It is based on the book Gangster Squad by Paul Lieberman and it has all the ingredients you'd expect in this kind of film.

Over the top violence, fully developed characters, a bit of humor, buddy relationships and, of course, a few love stories.

As for the production itself, production designer Maher Ahmad along with editors Alan Baumgarten and James Herbert, as well as, Academy Award winning costume designer Mary Zophres have done a brilliant job in recreating the Los Angeles of 1949.

From the sets to the elegant night clubs to the art deco buildings and the fabulous cars (why don't automobiles look like that anymore?) everything is authentic and transports us to the glamorous Golden Age of 1949.

"Gangster Squad" gives us a glimpse into Los Angeles when it was still the wild wild west and Burbank was just over the river.

The supporting cast, including Mireille Enos ("The Killing") as Connie O'Mara, John's pregnant and super understanding wife, is excellent.

I really enjoyed this film and gave "Gangster Squad" four bagels out of five. 

Check out our video for John's score and for more of our silly banter.

"Gangster Squad" opens in theatres on Jan. 11, 2013.

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Let us know what you think about this film.

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January 6, 2013 | 9:40 pm

Two Jews On Film Picks Their Top Ten Films Of 2012

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

2012 was a great year for films...Studio films as well as indies all scored big.

From the exquisite writing, directing, special effects, I found myself laughing hysterically from a foul mouth, oversex, pot smoking bear, to a bunch of folks freaking out at the prospect of turning 40.

We had cutting edge perfromances from Matthew McConghey ('Killer Joe' & 'The Paper Boy), Nicole Kidman ('The Paper Boy'), John Hawkes and Helen Hunt ('The Sessions') as well as Daniel Day Lewis ('Lincoln') Anthony Hopkins (Hitchcock) and the whole cast of 'Django Unchained'.

As usual, John and I didn't always agree especially in the case of my number 1 and number 2 pick...'Django Unchained' (#1) and 'Lincoln' (#2), but there were some films that surprisingly we were in accord...'The Intouchables' 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower', 'Silver Linings Playbook', 'Killer Joe', and 'Life Of Pi...(of course in different order)

One thing is for sure, all the films on our list received at least 4 bagels out of 5 from both of us...And they transported us to some really magical places. The films we picked inspired us, made us laugh, shocked us, informed us and for the most part, definitely touched our hearts and minds. And that's what aI good film should always do.

So check out our video for more of our silly banter, and here's to a New Year that hopefully will have lots and lots of '5 bagel films'. It's always more fun to like something than to hate it.

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December 24, 2012 | 3:45 pm

Review: ‘Les Miserables’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

I absolutely loved the Broadway production of 'Les Miserables' created by Claude-Michel Schonberg, Alain Boubill and Jean-Marc Natel. I listen to the show's score in my car whenever I need to feel energized. 

So to say I was really, really looking forward to seeing the film, is an understatement.

I couldn't help but wonder...Would I be disappointed? Would the film version match up to the stage production and would the singers sound as great as the orginal London and New York cast?

No...Yes...Almost.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, 'Les Miserables' is based on Victor Hugo's monumental 1862 novel about a decades-long manhunt, social inequality, injustice, love and redemption.

Here are the clift notes...

Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) has served 19 years of hard labor on a chain gang for stealing a loft of bread for his sister's child, who was dying from hunger. He orginally got 5 years, but 14 years was added on to his unjust sentance for trying to escape.

Upon his release from prison, Valjean through a series of circumstances, jumps parole and becomes a very successful businessman, as well as a mayor of a small town.

Former prison guard, and now a policeman, Javert (Russell Crowe) is obsessed with finding Valjean and bringing him to justice. In fact the dude is so obessed that he spends 17 years of his life mercilessly hounding Valjean and tracking him from city to city. 

Finally the two men meet at the barricades in Paris during the uprising of 1832.

But before that happens, Javier, Valjean adopts a small child, Cosette, the daughter of the dying Fantine (Anne Hathaway)an ex factory worker/prostitute.

As an aside, Anne Hathaway has gotten rave reviews for her performance. Personally, in my humble opinion, I think Miss H. sobs a way bit too much...especially when she sings one of the most beautiful songs in the show...'I Dreamed A Dream'.

Anyway...Valijean must first rescue the girl from an unscrupulous inn keeper and his wife...the very funny, Sascha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter. 

Cosette grows up to become Amanda Seyfried and she winds up falling in love with Marius (Eddie Redmayne) a wealthy young man turned revolutionary.

To say anymore would spoil the fun and the film is fun...It's also exciting, touching, and quite spectacular, especially visually, thanks to Tom Hooper's brilliant direction, as well Danny Cohen's cinematography and Eve Stewart's production design.

'Le Miserables' is sung, the music is gorgeous and the melodies haunting. Yes it is three hours long, but for me the time flew by.

One of the biggest surprises is that Russell Crowe can sing. Of course not as good as Broadway musical star Hugh Jackman, but he doesn't embarass himself. 

The supporting cast including Samantha Barks as Eponine, the innkeepers daughter, who secretly loves Maris, is excellent.

I gave 'Le Miserables' which opens on Christmas Day, 2012...4 1/2 bagels out of 5.

 

 

 

 

Check out our video to find our John's score and hear our SINGING review.

 

 

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Thanks everyone and please let us know what you think about 'Les Miz'

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