January 24, 2013 | 6:03 pm

Review: ‘Parker’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Follow JewishJournal.com on

Parker (Jason Statham) is a thief...One of the best around.  But he's not just a thief.  He's a thief with a code...Do what you say...If you don't...there will be consequences.

Parker demands absolute loyalty and strict adherence to the plan from his crew.  Unfortunately that's not what he gets from fellow thieves, Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce)  and Ross (Clifton Collins, Jr.)

'Parker' directed by Academy Award nomineeTaylor Hackford, ('Ray') starts out with a daring robbery at the Ohio State Fair that doesn't go so well.  Thanks to the recklessness of one of his men, someone dies.

This leads Parker very pissed off at his crew and declines their invitation to do another job. He just wants his share of the take and to be rid of them. 

His gang however, has another idea. They want to pool all the money and invest it in a major jewel heist.

So when Parker refuses to give up his share, they shoot him and leave him for dead on the side of a deserted road. Lucky for Parker, a very nice couple comes along and saves his life.

Well if they didn't, there would be a movie right?

Even though Parker isn't fully recovered, he wants one thing and one thing only...Revenge.

No one can stop him...Not even his girlfriend, Claire (Emma Booth) or her father and Parker's partner, Hurley (Nick Nolte),

He traces the gang to glitzy Palm Beach where he finds out, they are planning to rob $50 million dollars of jewels.

Needling to discover where the gang is hiding out, Parker poses as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a home.

And guess who's his real estate agent?  It's Miss J Lo, who winds up being extremely helpful to Parker, thanks to her extensive knowledge of Palm Beach..

You can imagine what happens next.  Afterall this is a Jason Statham movie.  That's right...lots of violence, fighting, and of course...lots and lots of...death.

'Parker' was written by John J. McLaughlin ('Black Swan' and 'Hitchcock') based on the novel, 'Flashfire' by Richard Stark aka Donald Westlake. 

It's basically mindless entertainment.  There aren't any surprises and the film gives you two hours of escapist fun...Personally I'd wait to see it on Netflix.

I gave 'Parker' 21/2 bagels out of 5. The film opens Friday January 25, 2012. 

Check out our video to find out John's score and hear more of our banter.

Please SUBSCRIBE to our youtube channel and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

January 16, 2013 | 8:03 pm

Review: ‘The Broken City’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The Broken City (2013)

The broken city, in this character driven crime thriller is...New York, aka Manhattan, aka The Big Apple.

In this fictitous New York City, The not so honorable, Nicolas Hostetler (Russell Crowe) is the Mayor...He's as charming as he is...corrupt.

When the film opens, we see cop, Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) kill a rapist. According to Taggart, he shot him in self defense.

The public is outraged when the court decides that there's not enough evidence against Taggart to bring him to trial. But even though he beats the murder charge, Mayor Hostetler, has no choice but to ask for the policeman's resignation.

Fast forward to seven years later.

Taggart is barely getting by as a private investigator, mainly because he never asks his clients for money upfront and then they his refuse to pay him.  Wonder why!

But even though the dude is broke, he does have a very beautiful girlfriend, Natalie (Natalie Martinez) who just happens to be an aspiring actress.  The couple are so in love and in lust, they don't even mind living in a broken down apartment.

So life isn't too bad for Taggart.  That is until...

The Mayor, after not seeing the cop for years, calls Taggart out of the blue and hires him to follow his beautiful wife, Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones) The Mayor, supposedly, thinks she's having an affair. 

Sounds like a fun movie? Unfortunately, not that much.

 The film directed by Allen Hughes, one half of The Hughes Brothers ('Menace 2 Society;) is something you've seen over and over again.  The story and the characters are very familiar and not in an exciting way.

Having said that...There are a couple of interesting twists in the film.

One involves, Councilman Jack Valenti (Barry Pepper) as the newcomer, who's running against the Mayor in the upcoming election and the other has to do with the Police Comissioner (Jeffrey Wright) who seems to dislike everybody.

As far as the acting goes, Russell Crowe is quite good.  Zeta-Jones and Wahlberg do what they always do.  She looks beautiful and he's Mister Tough, Vulnerable Guy.

So if you're curious, wait to see it when it comes to Netflix or cable.

John and I are actually in agreement.  We gave 'Broken City' which opens in theatres, Friday January 18, 2012, a low  2 bagels out of 5 score.

Check out our video for more of our silly banter.

Please SUBSCRIBE to us on youtube and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.  If you do see this film, let us know what you think.

Thanks everyone.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

January 10, 2013 | 12:41 pm

Review: ‘Gangster Squad’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The year ... 1949... The place ... Los Angeles... and ruthless, sadistic, meglomaniac, Jewish gangster, Mickey Cohen (the brilliant Sean Penn), runs the show in this town.

We're talking drugs, guns, prostitutes, and (if he had his way) every wire bet placed west of Chicago would fall under his domain.

The guy is ruthless and a total nut job, completely lacking in charm. He's definitely no Michael Correleone.

To get an idea how Cohen's mind works, at some point in the film he yells to his crew of killers, ''You heard of Manifest Destiny? That's when you take what you can, when you can ... And I'm gonna take it all and not just because I can, but because this is my destiny...Los Angeles is my destiny."

Cohen is a thug. He doesn't even know which fork to use for the salad. And the guy likes to eat out a lot. So what does he do? Cohen hires an etiquette coach (Emma Stone). Of course, she also becomes his unfortunate lover.

So how do you stop a monster who has practically every politician, cop and judge in his pocket?

Luckily, Chief Of Police Parker (Nick Nolte) has come up with a plan. He recruits ex-war hero and LAPD Sgt. John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) to put together a secret squad to bring Cohen down. 

It doesn't take long for O'Mara to assemble the best of the best: Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who just happens to be in love with Cohen's girl, electronics wiz Conwell Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi), sharp shooter Max Kennard (Robert Patrick), his side-kick Navidad Ramirez (Michael Pena) and Officer Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie) who patrols the streets of South Central.

O'Mara's motto: "We're not solving a case here. We're going to war. And it's guerilla style war. Their unofficial name is ...'The Gangster Squad.'"

"Gangster Squad" is directed by Ruben Fleischer ("Zombieland") and written by Will Beal. It is based on the book Gangster Squad by Paul Lieberman and it has all the ingredients you'd expect in this kind of film.

Over the top violence, fully developed characters, a bit of humor, buddy relationships and, of course, a few love stories.

As for the production itself, production designer Maher Ahmad along with editors Alan Baumgarten and James Herbert, as well as, Academy Award winning costume designer Mary Zophres have done a brilliant job in recreating the Los Angeles of 1949.

From the sets to the elegant night clubs to the art deco buildings and the fabulous cars (why don't automobiles look like that anymore?) everything is authentic and transports us to the glamorous Golden Age of 1949.

"Gangster Squad" gives us a glimpse into Los Angeles when it was still the wild wild west and Burbank was just over the river.

The supporting cast, including Mireille Enos ("The Killing") as Connie O'Mara, John's pregnant and super understanding wife, is excellent.

I really enjoyed this film and gave "Gangster Squad" four bagels out of five. 

Check out our video for John's score and for more of our silly banter.

"Gangster Squad" opens in theatres on Jan. 11, 2013.

Please SUBSCRIBE to us on youtube and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page. Thanks everyone.

Let us know what you think about this film.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

January 6, 2013 | 9:40 pm

Two Jews On Film Picks Their Top Ten Films Of 2012

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

2012 was a great year for films...Studio films as well as indies all scored big.

From the exquisite writing, directing, special effects, I found myself laughing hysterically from a foul mouth, oversex, pot smoking bear, to a bunch of folks freaking out at the prospect of turning 40.

We had cutting edge perfromances from Matthew McConghey ('Killer Joe' & 'The Paper Boy), Nicole Kidman ('The Paper Boy'), John Hawkes and Helen Hunt ('The Sessions') as well as Daniel Day Lewis ('Lincoln') Anthony Hopkins (Hitchcock) and the whole cast of 'Django Unchained'.

As usual, John and I didn't always agree especially in the case of my number 1 and number 2 pick...'Django Unchained' (#1) and 'Lincoln' (#2), but there were some films that surprisingly we were in accord...'The Intouchables' 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower', 'Silver Linings Playbook', 'Killer Joe', and 'Life Of Pi...(of course in different order)

One thing is for sure, all the films on our list received at least 4 bagels out of 5 from both of us...And they transported us to some really magical places. The films we picked inspired us, made us laugh, shocked us, informed us and for the most part, definitely touched our hearts and minds. And that's what aI good film should always do.

So check out our video for more of our silly banter, and here's to a New Year that hopefully will have lots and lots of '5 bagel films'. It's always more fun to like something than to hate it.

Please SUBSCRIBE to us on youtube LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page. Thanks everyone and don't forget to let us know what you think.

1 Comments — Leave your comment

December 24, 2012 | 3:45 pm

Review: ‘Les Miserables’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

I absolutely loved the Broadway production of 'Les Miserables' created by Claude-Michel Schonberg, Alain Boubill and Jean-Marc Natel. I listen to the show's score in my car whenever I need to feel energized. 

So to say I was really, really looking forward to seeing the film, is an understatement.

I couldn't help but wonder...Would I be disappointed? Would the film version match up to the stage production and would the singers sound as great as the orginal London and New York cast?

No...Yes...Almost.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, 'Les Miserables' is based on Victor Hugo's monumental 1862 novel about a decades-long manhunt, social inequality, injustice, love and redemption.

Here are the clift notes...

Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) has served 19 years of hard labor on a chain gang for stealing a loft of bread for his sister's child, who was dying from hunger. He orginally got 5 years, but 14 years was added on to his unjust sentance for trying to escape.

Upon his release from prison, Valjean through a series of circumstances, jumps parole and becomes a very successful businessman, as well as a mayor of a small town.

Former prison guard, and now a policeman, Javert (Russell Crowe) is obsessed with finding Valjean and bringing him to justice. In fact the dude is so obessed that he spends 17 years of his life mercilessly hounding Valjean and tracking him from city to city. 

Finally the two men meet at the barricades in Paris during the uprising of 1832.

But before that happens, Javier, Valjean adopts a small child, Cosette, the daughter of the dying Fantine (Anne Hathaway)an ex factory worker/prostitute.

As an aside, Anne Hathaway has gotten rave reviews for her performance. Personally, in my humble opinion, I think Miss H. sobs a way bit too much...especially when she sings one of the most beautiful songs in the show...'I Dreamed A Dream'.

Anyway...Valijean must first rescue the girl from an unscrupulous inn keeper and his wife...the very funny, Sascha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter. 

Cosette grows up to become Amanda Seyfried and she winds up falling in love with Marius (Eddie Redmayne) a wealthy young man turned revolutionary.

To say anymore would spoil the fun and the film is fun...It's also exciting, touching, and quite spectacular, especially visually, thanks to Tom Hooper's brilliant direction, as well Danny Cohen's cinematography and Eve Stewart's production design.

'Le Miserables' is sung, the music is gorgeous and the melodies haunting. Yes it is three hours long, but for me the time flew by.

One of the biggest surprises is that Russell Crowe can sing. Of course not as good as Broadway musical star Hugh Jackman, but he doesn't embarass himself. 

The supporting cast including Samantha Barks as Eponine, the innkeepers daughter, who secretly loves Maris, is excellent.

I gave 'Le Miserables' which opens on Christmas Day, 2012...4 1/2 bagels out of 5.

Check out our video to find our John's score and hear our SINGING review.

Please SUBSCRIBE to our youtube channel.  We now have 1005 so we're aiming for 2000 and LIKE us on our facebook page...Two Jews On Film.

Thanks everyone and please let us know what you think about 'Les Miz'

0 Comments — Leave your comment

December 23, 2012 | 3:37 pm

Review: ‘Django Unchained’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Quentin Tarantino has done it again with this spaghetti style western.  'Django Unchained' is set in the South, two years before the Civil War.

Not only has Tarantino created an over the top funny, graphic, violent film, but he also manages to show the horror of slavery in a way, I can't ever remember seeing in a Hollywood film.

But then again, Mr. T. doesn't do Hollywood films.  He does Quentin Tarrantino films and this one, in my humble opinion is...a masterpiece.

Jamie Fox is 'Django' (the D is silent)...a slave who's been brutalized by his former owner (Bruce Dern)

One day, Gerrman born, retired dentist/bounty hunter, Dr. King Schultz (the outstanding Christopher Walz) comes across Django chained to other slaves.  Schultz buys him and agrees to give Django his freedom...if Django agrees to help him find the murderous Brittle Brothers.

Only Django knows what they look like and he agrees to help.  In exchange, Schultz teaches him everything he knows about tracking, hunting and shooting.

It doesn't take long for Django to become Schultz's star pupil.  To say the former slave is extremely motivated would be an understatement. Django is determined to find and rescue the his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington) whom he lost to a slave trader years ago.

Through a series of flashbacks, we see the sick, cruel, inhumane treatment that Django, his wife, and other slaves endured.

Django and Schultz's search ultimately leads them to a plantation called 'Candyland' owned by the monstrous Calvin Candie (Leonardo Di Caprio in a tour de force performance)

They get into Calvin's plantation under false pretenses...pretending they are interested in buying a slave for fighting. (think 'Mandingo' )

It's here they meet Calvin's trusted house slave, Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson).  Mr. Jackson has never been better as the manipulative, self hating, Uncle Tom.  He's so good in the part, he made my skin crawl.  This is a man that would sell out his own mother just to stay in favor with his master.

Too say anymore, would spoil this brilliant, must see film.

The supporting cast including, Don Johnson, James Remar, James Russo, Dennis Christopher, Tom Wopat, Franco Nero, Robert Carradine and Tarrantino are all excellent.

I gave 'Django Unchained' which opens in theatres, Tuesday, December 25, 2012...5 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to find out John's score and for more of our silly banter.

Please SUBSCRIBE to our youtube channel.  As of today, we need only 5 more subscribers to reach 1000.  And LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

Thanks so much everyone and please let us know what you think of 'Django Unchained.'    .

0 Comments — Leave your comment

December 20, 2012 | 10:17 pm

Review: ‘Jack Reacher’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

0 Comments — Leave your comment

December 20, 2012 | 12:13 am

Review: ‘This Is 40’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

'This is 40' or as Debbie (Leslie Mann) likes to say...38...Yep, she lies about her age...even to her gynecologist.

Debbie and Pete (Paul Rudd) her husband are turning 40, but Deb just won't admit it...Can't admit it...

Judd Apatow's new film 'This Is 40' is a followup to 'Knocked Up'.  If you've been wondering what happened to those two main characters in that film, here's your chance to find out.

Pete's indie label isn't doing very well and his next big launch of Graham Parker And The Rumor's comeback record, doesn't look too promising.

Plus someone has stolen $13,000 from Leslie's Lula Lemon type store.  It's either her top salesperson, Desi (Megan Fox) or her pet employee, Jodi (Charlene Yi).

On top of all this, Pete's father, (the wonderful smarmy, narcissitic, Albert Brooks) is constantly borrowing money him...money Pete doesn't have, but he just can't say 'no' to his daddy.

Oh did I mention that Debbie, also has a father (John Litgow) but he couldn't care less about her?  All his affections are for his younger, picture perfect NEW family.

'This Is 40' is an emotionally insightful, hysterically funny film.  It touches on issues everyone can relate to...sex, family, marriage, parents, kids, growing old, and life in general and it does it with Apatow's brilliant, spot on dialogue.

'This Is 40' opens in theatres, Friday, December 21, 2012...a perfect film for the holidays.

Check out our video on our Youtube to find out our bagel score, see Mango do absolutely nothing and of course, for more of our banter.

Please SUBSCRIBE to us on Youtube and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

Thanks everyone and let us know what you think about this film.

0 Comments — Leave your comment