June 12, 2013 | 7:30 pm

Review: ‘Man Of Steel’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

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Superman/Clark Kent/Kal-El (Henry Cavill) is a guy with...angst...a great deal of angst. He wants to fly around the planet and save people, but thanks to his earth daddy, Jonathon Kent (Kevin Costner) he's afraid to do that.

What? Superman afraid? Yep or maybe paranoid is a better word.

Ever since he was a boy on the farm, Clark was told by Jonathon, that the world is not ready for him. That his super powers would scare people...

And in 'Man Of Steel' directed by Zack Snyder ('300') and written by David Goyer, that certainly seems to be the case...At least for most of the film....

Which is part of the problem...Who wants to see Superman moping around, even if he is as cute as Mr. Cavill?

Through a series of flashbacks, we find out what every human on planet earth already knows...i.e. how Kal El's biological dad, Jor-El (Russell Crowe) and mom, Lara Lor-Van, sent him to earth as a newborn baby, when they realized that Krypton was doomed. We also find out why...

The super bad-ass, General Zod (Michael Shannon, doing his usual villain thing) and his evil Kyptonian posse, hate Jor-El and a few other things that I won't go into here, for fear of spoiling it for those folks unfamiliar with the story.

Anyway here on earth, we continue to travel back and forth to Clark's youth...meet his mom, Martha (Diane Lane) and get glimpses into his difficult childhood in Smallville. After all, It's hard being an alien kid, who can burn down a city with a single glance.

Of course, what would a Superman movie be without Lois Lane?. This time, Miss Lane (Amy Adams) is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and right from the start, she knows Clark's real identity and yes, they're 'hot' for each other.

The Daily Planet's editor, Perry White is also back and he's played by Laurence Fishburne.

There are definitely a lot things that I enjoyed about 'Man Of Steel' ...The scenes on Kyrpton, plus the ones between Clavill, Costner and Lane are among my favorites.

My big problem with the film is how repetitive it is...I mean how many times can you watch Superman throw Zod into a building and vice versa?. According to Snyder, many, many, many times. Guess he wanted to make sure that the audience got their $225 million dollars worth.

I gave 'Man Of Steel' which opens in theatres, Friday June 14, 2013 only 31/2 bagels out of 5. I really expected to like it much more than I did.

Check out our video for John's bagel rating and of course for more of our witty banter.

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Thanks everyone.

June 6, 2013 | 1:13 pm

Review: ‘The Internship’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

I was really expecting not to like this film. I thought it would be the same old Vince Vaughn comedy that I've seen hundreds of times before and frankly wasn't all that crazy about.

So I was really surprised, when I found myself laughing aloud. 'The Internship' is a really funny, clever and even touching film, filled with endearing characters and a theme that everyone, no matter what your age, will be able to relate to...It's never too late to go after your dreams. Unless, of course, you're 80 years old and want to be an astronaut or prima ballerina.

But that's not the case in this film. Vince Vaughn plays Billy McMahon, a high energy, verbally dexterous salesman. Along with his partner and BFF, Nick Campbell, a master at soft spoken persuasion, these two can sell anything to anyone.

Unfortunately, their ways are coming to an end, thanks to the digital world. In fact when we meet them, Nick and Billy are informed by a client they're trying to sell watches to, that their company has closed down. Who needs watches when you have a computer to tell you the time? says their boss, John Goodman.

With no job prospects in sight, Billy and Nick find themselves in a situation that a lot of people in the 40's and 50's face...How to reinvent yourself to fit into this new ever changing digital world?

Luckily, Billy discovers that Google is looking for interns and against all odds, they get accepted into the Google intern program.

Here's where the movie becomes a 'fish out of water' story. All the other interns are under 20 and they are super brilliant, especially when it comes to technology. Something our boys are not. Plus only one team of Nooglers (interns) gets to become Googlers (Google's paid employees)

As the interns are put through a series of tests, Billy and Nick must draw upon their crackerjack salesmanship skills, their life experiences and swagger to lead their team to victory.

'The Internship' written by Vince Vaughan and Jared Stern ('The Watch') and directed by Shawn Levy ('Night At The Museum') is filled with a wonderful cast of characters, including, Rose Byrne as Dana Sims, a career focused high achieving Google executive/love interst for Wilson and Josh Gad, (Headphones) a silent mentor.

I found 'The Internship' which opens in theatres, Friday June 7th, 2013 to be a very entertaining and uplifting film for all ages. For that reason,I gave it 4 bagels out of 5.

Of course once again, The Two Jews On Film are split. Check out our video to see what John thought about this movie and for his bagel rating.

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May 30, 2013 | 9:57 pm

Review: ‘After Earth’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Every son, whether conscious or unconscious, wants to impress his dad...Wants to gain his father's respect.

In the year 222 AE (after earth), after a series of cataclysmic events forced humanity to leave earth and settle on Nova Prime, that concept still holds true.

Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) wants desperately to be a Ranger like his dad, General Cypher Raige, (Will Smith). Cypher is not only a Ranger but he's a super Ranger having saved the humans of Nova Prime from the planet's fiercest alien threats...The Skrel and their nasty monster creations known as the Ursa.

But that doesn't seem to be in the cards for Kitai. He's just flunked his Ranger test and is hounded by guilt, from a childhood incident. Kitai doesn't feel like he'll ever live up to his father's expectations.

Of course this being a movIe, Kitai will soon get the chance to prove to himself and to his daddy just what kind of stuff he's made of, when... 

A spaceship carrying him and Cypher crash lands on the now quarantined Earth, killing everyone, except the two of them. Their only hope of rescue is a beacon which landed some 50 miles away from the ship.

Cypher is critically wounded so it's up to Kitai to retrieve it. 

With his dad monitoring and directing him from the ship, Kitai must face unchartered terrain, savage animals, a hostile deadly environment, and the unstoppable, Ursa who can sense human fear.

Piece of cake right?

'After Earth', directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan, along with Gary Whitta from a story by Will Smith works on many levels...

I liked the story, especially the concept of overcoming one's fear as well as the depiction of a futuristic Earth. The film has a nice tension and at times, is very exciting.

Unfortunately what didn't work for me and in fact, almost ruined the movie, was the acting of Jaden Smith. The kid acts with his eyebrows, indicates all over the place and pushes way too hard in the emotional scenes.

Having said that, I still gave 'After Earth' which opens in theatres Friday May 31, 2013, three and a half bagels out of five as I was entertained.

Check out our video for John's bagel rating and for more of our thoughts.

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May 22, 2013 | 7:43 pm

Review ‘The Hangover Part 3

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

I judge how good a comedy is, by how much I laugh, as well as how much the audience laughs...or doesn't, as was the case last night, sitting in the theatre, watching 'The Hangover Park 3'.

It's been two years since our guys...Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Doug (Justin Bartha) have had any encounters with strippers, weird animals, monkeys, gangsters or drugs.  In fact they are all happily married and living the good life in suburbia.

The only member of the Wolf Pack who doesn't have his life together is...Alan (Zach Galifianakis) He's off his meds...Says and does whatever he feels like, at any given moment, no matter how inappropriate, and is driving his parents, who he still lives with...nuts.

His three buddies decide to do an intervention...which includes a trip to a mental facility in Arizona and that means...ROAD TRIP.

Which also means for our guys that normalcy is thrown out the window, replaced by complete mayhem, kidnapping, bad guys, drugs, breaking and entering, a trip to Mexico and of course to VEGAS.

What 'The Hangover Part 3', directed and written, once again, by Todd Phillips, along with Craig Mazin, doesn't have is anything original or humorous.

The film, except for a change in geography, feels very similar to the first two films in the franchise...only without the laughs.

Heather Graham, Stu's first wife makes a brief appearance and of course, Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) is back...This time, however, he didn't bring the funny...only the mean and nasty.

Rounding out the cast is John Goodman and Melissa McCarthy, who is the one character that does bring the comedy.

I gave 'The Hangover Part 3', which opens in theatres Thursday, May 23rd, 2013, only two bagels out of five...and John gave it even less.

Check out our video for more of our thoughts.

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Love to know what you think..

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May 22, 2013 | 9:25 am

Review: ‘The Fast And The Furious 6’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Yes, it's hard to believe that this is number 6. Where does the time go? Well, I'm happy to report that this one won't let you down.

As the title suggest...The film is fast...It's furious...and it's definitely, fun.

The whole gang is back including Vin Diesel (Dom), Paul Walker (Brian), Tyrese Gibson (Roman), Ludacris (Tej), Jordana Brewster (Mia), Elsa Pataky (Elsa) and Michelle Rodriguez (Letty).

For those of you who haven't seen 'The Fast And The Furious 5' here's a brief recap.

After stealing 100 million dollars from a drug kingpin, the group is scattered all across the globe, living it up in style...Brian and Mia even have a newborn baby. 

Life couldn't be better for our guys, except for the fact that they're all still wanted fugitives and if they ever set foot in the U. S., they'll be jailed on the spot.

But no worries...that little problem might soon go away.

Enter...Special Agent, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) who's been been tracking, super bad guy, Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) and his lethally skilled mercenaries across 12 countries, without any success. 

Hobbs realizes that the only gang on the planet, capable of taking out Shaw and his men are...

Our favorite group of ex car thieves/racers/good bad guys, that we've all come to know and love.

Hobbs visits Dom and offers him and the rest of the group full pardons in exchange for their help. 

He also breaks the news to Dom that his soul mate, Letty is still alive and she's hooked up with Shaw and his brood. (Again for those of you who haven't seen Number 5, Letty was supposedly killed)

The chance to see Letty again is enough to get Dom back into action. He picks up the phone, calls the boys and girl, and in less time it takes to make an omelet...the group is back together.

'Fast And The Furious 6', directed by Justin Lin and written by Chris Morgan ('Fast Five') has incredible stunts, killer car chases, lots of humor (some intentional, some not so intentional) and edge of your seat action. There's even a couple of twists you won't see coming.

In my opinion, this along with the original 'Fast And The Furious' ranks among my favorites. For that reason, I gave 'Fast And The Furious 6', which opens in theatres, Friday May 24, 2013, 4 bagels out of 5.

Check out our video for John's thoughts and his bagel score.

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May 13, 2013 | 8:06 pm

Review: ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The boys are back...Capt. Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Chekov (Anton Yelchin), Bones (Karl Urban), Sulu (John Cho) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana)

The film opens with the USS Enterprise on a observation mission to Planet Nibiru...When they arrive at the planet, the crew finds a volcano on the verge of erupting and wiping out its primitive inhabitants.  In the process of launching a dangerous mission to halt the eruption, Spock's life is jeopardized, forcing Kirk to break the 'Prime Directive' and reveal the Enterpise to the inhabitants...

Bad move:  Not only is Spock pissed off at his BFF, Admiral Pike (Bruce Greenwood) relieves Kirk of his command and he takes over the Enterprise.

Not a good week for our Captain.

But wait...Things are about to get worse.  Starfleet agent John Harrison aka Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch) bombs a secret Section 31' installation in London. 

An emergency meeting of high ranking officers is called at Starfleet headquarters, which Kirk attends.  The meeting is attacked by a gunship piloted by Harrison, who winds up slaughtering most of the attendees, including Pike.

Of course Kirk is reinstated and Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller) orders him to hunt down Harrison, who is now hiding out in the land of the Klingons, and kill him. This becomes problematic since Starfleet and the Klingon Empire are at war.  Remember those days?  

To say anymore would spoil the surprises and there are a couple...Unfortunately, even though I enjoyed the relationships between the crew members, especially the love connection of Spock and Uhura, I didn't find the plot all that original.

The film, directed by J.J. Abrams is very glitzy. Shot in 3D/IMAX, it's  beautiful to look at.  But for me the plot wasn't very original and it lacked the complexities and intensity of some of the other films in the Franchise.  Personally, the 'Borg' films are my favorites.. 

It's for that reason I gave 'Star Trek Into Darkness' which opens in theatres, Thursday May 16, 2013 three bagels out of five.

Check out our video to see John's bagel score and of course for more of our witty banter.

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Let us know what you think about this film.  Thanks everyone.

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April 30, 2013 | 9:18 pm

Review: ‘Iron Man 3’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Mr. Iron Man neeeds a xanax...He gets panic attacks...How cool is that?

Our super hero has major angst and that's what makes him so lovable and so very human.  That, and of course, Robert Downey Jr., who once again brings the brilliant, brash, billionaire, inventor, Tony Stark aka Iron Man to life on the big screen and he absolutely KILLS it...

What makes 'Iron Man 3' so unique is that it's not only the culmination of the first two films, but it's also a follow-up to 'Marvel's The Avengers'...Making it a sequel to two different movies.

In ''The Avengers', Stark faced a world-changing event, that not only included seeing the powers of other superheroes, but also, having a portal to another world opened above his head...And to put it mildly...

The dude is extremely freaked out by these events.  In fact, the mere mention of New York City sends him into a panic...We're talking heart palpations, cold sweats and dizziness.  It's hard being a super hero with those symptoms.  Luckily Stark hasn't lost his sense of humor.
Of course, he doesn't sleep...spends most of his nights tinkering with his Iron Men suits, even though his girlfriend Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow) is keeping his bed warm.

It's more than obvious that Tony is hiding behind his toys...It's where he feels safe and in control. 

But that very quickly changes, when our heroe's  personal world is destroyed by an enemy whose reach knows no bounds and forces Stark, to embark on a harrowing quest to find those responsible.

With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him.

 As he fights his way back, Tony discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: Does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?

To say anymore would spoil the fun and believe me, 'Iron Man 3' directed by Shane Black, is so much FUN.   Black wrote the film with Drew Pearce ('Sherlock Holmes 3')
and the dialogue is pitch perfect.

As is the rest of the cast including...bad guys, Guy Pearce (Aldrich Killian) and Ben Kingsley (The Mandarin)...Good guys...Don Cheadle (Col. James Rhodey Rhodes, Tony's BBF) and Jon Favreau (Happy Hogan)and Rebecca Hall as brainy/beautiful scientist, Maya Hansen.

'Iron Man 3' is a funny, exciting, thrilling movie, that definitely won't disappoint fans or anyone else for that matter. 

I gave the film, which opens in theatres Friday May 3, 2013, the highest bagel score possible...5 out of 5 and guess what folks?...John was right up there with me with his bagel score...well almost!

Check out our video to see what he thought and of course, for more of our witty banter.

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Love to know what you think.  Thanks everyone.

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April 25, 2013 | 2:46 pm

Review: ‘Pain & Gain’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

I am so not a Michael Bay fan.  I find everything he does to be way over the top.  Bay doesn't seem to trust his story or the characters and his latest film, 'Pain And Gain' is no exception.

'Pain And Gain' is the true story of Miami's Sun Gym gang, which was made up of three super violent, super inept, body builders, who decide the best way to get rich quick, is to kidnap millionaires and milk them out of their fortune.  Now why haven't I thought of that?

It's the 90's and the three muscle bound jerks are Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg), Born again Jesus, coke freak, Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock) and the not so bright, Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie).  

In flashbacks we meet Lugo who after being released from prison for committing a white collar crime, gets a job as a personal trainer at Sun Gym in Miami. 

He believes however, that he is destined for far greater things.

One day, Lugo attends a seminar, led by inspirational speaker, Johnny Wu (Ken Jeong) and his life is changed forever.  Lugo is determined to become a a 'doer'...(a term coined by Wu)

Now what is Lugo's idea of being a 'doer'?  For one thing, it doesn't involve training rich people at the gym.  It does involve, kidnapping them.

He enlists Doyle and Doorbal in his scheme and their first target is Lugo's client, self made millionaire Victor Kershaw.  The plan...kidnap Kershaw and get him to sign over all his property, bank accounts, etc.

After several failed attempts at snatching Kershaw, these bubbling idots finally succeed. This leads to lots of torture scenes, over the top violence, and excessive close-ups.  The characters, who start out funny, except for Kershaw,  quickly become caricatures.

 The film, billed as an action comedy, has the action, but not so much the funny and it doesn't take long for Michael Bay's B movie style of directing, to wear thin.

Rounding out the cast is Ed Harris, as a retired cop who comes onboard to investigate Kershaw's claim of being kidnapped, after the police refuse to believe him and the extremely funny, Rebel Wilson as Mackie's wife. 

'Pain And Gain' written by  Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeeling is based on a series of magazine articles penned by Pete Collins, which appeared in the Miami New Times in late 1999.

The film opens in theatres, Friday April 26th, 2013.

I gave it 2 1/2 bagels out of 5.  Check out our video for John's rating and more of our bantering.

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Let us know what you think of 'Pain And Gain' if you decide to see it.  Thanks everyone.

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