May 31, 2012 | 3:18 pm

‘Snow White And The Huntsman’ Review

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

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Okay folks, ‘Snow White’ is back and this time, she’s mad as hell and ready to kick some butt.

First off, I must ask…Did we really need two films this year about Miss White? Personally, I think one was too many.

In any case, ‘Snow White And The Huntsman’ directed by Rupert Sanders, stars Kristen Stewart as Snow, Charlize Theron, as the super evil Queen, Ravenna and Chris Helmsworth as the hunky Huntsman.

We all know the story, so I’ll be brief…

Ravenna feeds on the souls of virgins in order to maintain her youthful glow…Guess she never heard about Botox. After she kills off her hubby, the King, she locks Snow White up in a damp, dingy, dreadful basement and basically makes her subjects extremely unhappy.

One day, Ravenna’s creepy brother, Finn (Sam Spruell) drops in on Snow and it’s not for conversation. When he tries to put the moves on her, Snow stabs him and escapes…Right into the…

Dark Forest, where all kinds of nasty creatures await…

Meanwhile, back at the palace, the raging Ravenna consults with her mirror…

The mirror oozes this gold liquid which morphs into some sort of weird figure, who sounds very much like Darth Vader. He tells Ravenna that the only way she obtain immortality, is to eat Snow’s heart. Ravenna, not being a vegan, has absolutely no problem with this.

Now, Ravenna’s powers don’t work in the Dark Forest she sends The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) after her. In all fairness, at first he balks at the assignment. But when Ravenna promises to bring back his dead wife, The Huntsman agrees…and…

We all know what happens when a goodlooking guy goes after a hot chick. He falls in love with her of course. So instead of killing Snow…the Huntsman saves her and together…and with the help of…the dwarfts, who are in no particular order…

Ian McShane, Ray Winstone, Bob Hoskins, Nick Frost and Eddie Marsan, Johnny Harris, Brian Gleeson and Toby Jones as well as an old family friend, the handsome Prince (Sam Claflin) they all band together to take down Ravenna and restore the Kingdom to its glory days.

My problem with the film is that it takes itself way too seriously. It completely lacks humor.

Charlize Theron, who is one of my favorite actresses, is way over the top. Kristen Stewart who is not one of my favorite actresses, is very bland and lacks chemistry with the two male leads.

Plus the film has several different styles going on and suffers from the…It doesn’t know what it wants to be…syndrome.

With that said, I gave ‘Snow White And The Huntsman’ 3 bagels out of 5. The film opens in theatres Friday, June 1, 2012. Check out our video to see John’s thoughts and his rating.