February 13, 2013 | 7:21 pm

Review: ‘A Good Day To Die Hard’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

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A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Bruce Willis reprises his ioconic role as police detective John McClane in 'A Good Day To Die Hard' directed by John Moore ('Max Payne') and written by Skip Woods ('A Team') and Jason Keller.

McClane this time around, finds himself in Moscow.  Seems his estranged son, Jack (Jai Courtney) has been arrested  for murder.  McClane isn't at all surprise.  He believes Jack is a total screw-up.

In truth (and this isn't a SPOILER) Jack is a CIA operative trying to protect a government whistleblower, Komarov (Sebastian Koch) from being killed.

Anyway, before father and son can hook up, they're involved in an over the top car case through the streets of Moscow that lasts around ten minutes (It felt like ten hours)

After that's over, the two men, spend some time yelling at each other, followed by a few moments of male bonding, as they try to protect Komarov Russian bad guys.  And there's lots of bad guys.

There's also lots of shoot outs, vicious fights, a little torture and more car chases.

Get the picture...

I really wanted to love this film or at least be entertained, but unfortunately neither one of those things happened. 

'A Good Day To Die Hard' has what you'd expect from an action film...It has action. What it doesn't have, is a good script and well defined characters.

Bruce Willis is always fun to watch, but even he couldn't save this film from being nothing more than two hours of non stop, excessive violence, with a twist you could see coming a mile away.  

It's for those reasons I gave 'A Good Day To Die Hard' 21/2 bagels out of 5.

The film opens on Valentines Day, Thursday February 14, 2012.  If you're planning on having a romantic evening, this is definitely NOT the movie to see.

Check out our video to find out John's score and for more of our witty banter.

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Let us know what you think of 'A Good Day To Die Hard'.  Thanks everyone.

January 29, 2013 | 5:08 pm

Review: ‘Stand Up Guys’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Stand Up Guys (2013)

There are many reasons to see this quirky, independent, funny, touching, action, comedy...but the main ones are...Al Pacino and Christopher Walken.  They are fantastic. Both of these fine actors give tour de force performances in their respective roles.

Al is Vall, a 60+ year old career criminal who's just been released from prison after serving twenty-eight years, for refusing to give up one of his close criminal associates.

His BFF, Doc (Christopher Walken) picks him up at the prison and the two guys spend the next few hours, talking about their glory days, drinking, popping pills and visiting a whore house.

But that's not all.  They wind up breaking out their old pal, Hirsch (Alan Arkin).from a nursing home.  From there things get even wilder. They guys steal a car and prove that despite their age, their capacity for mayhem is still very much alive and well.

It doesn't take long before bullets start to fly, as the men make a hilariously valiant effort, to compensate for the decades of crime, drugs and sex, they've missed.

But it's not all fun and games.  One of these old friends is keeping a dangerous secret.  Not to spoil anything, let's just say it has to do with a very powerful, very angry, mob boss bent on revenge.

"Stand Up Guys' which opens in theatres February 1, 2013 directed by Fisher Stevens and written by first time screenwriter, Noah Haidle is a must see for anyone who loves great acting, great dialogue and a great story.

I absolutely loved this film and gave it 41/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see John's score and for our usual off the wall banter.

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Thanks everyone...And let us know what you think about 'Stand Up Guys'.

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January 16, 2013 | 8:03 pm

Review: ‘The Broken City’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The Broken City (2013)

The broken city, in this character driven crime thriller is...New York, aka Manhattan, aka The Big Apple.

In this fictitous New York City, The not so honorable, Nicolas Hostetler (Russell Crowe) is the Mayor...He's as charming as he is...corrupt.

When the film opens, we see cop, Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) kill a rapist. According to Taggart, he shot him in self defense.

The public is outraged when the court decides that there's not enough evidence against Taggart to bring him to trial. But even though he beats the murder charge, Mayor Hostetler, has no choice but to ask for the policeman's resignation.

Fast forward to seven years later.

Taggart is barely getting by as a private investigator, mainly because he never asks his clients for money upfront and then they his refuse to pay him.  Wonder why!

But even though the dude is broke, he does have a very beautiful girlfriend, Natalie (Natalie Martinez) who just happens to be an aspiring actress.  The couple are so in love and in lust, they don't even mind living in a broken down apartment.

So life isn't too bad for Taggart.  That is until...

The Mayor, after not seeing the cop for years, calls Taggart out of the blue and hires him to follow his beautiful wife, Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones) The Mayor, supposedly, thinks she's having an affair. 

Sounds like a fun movie? Unfortunately, not that much.

 The film directed by Allen Hughes, one half of The Hughes Brothers ('Menace 2 Society;) is something you've seen over and over again.  The story and the characters are very familiar and not in an exciting way.

Having said that...There are a couple of interesting twists in the film.

One involves, Councilman Jack Valenti (Barry Pepper) as the newcomer, who's running against the Mayor in the upcoming election and the other has to do with the Police Comissioner (Jeffrey Wright) who seems to dislike everybody.

As far as the acting goes, Russell Crowe is quite good.  Zeta-Jones and Wahlberg do what they always do.  She looks beautiful and he's Mister Tough, Vulnerable Guy.

So if you're curious, wait to see it when it comes to Netflix or cable.

John and I are actually in agreement.  We gave 'Broken City' which opens in theatres, Friday January 18, 2012, a low  2 bagels out of 5 score.

Check out our video for more of our silly banter.

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Thanks everyone.

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January 10, 2013 | 12:41 pm

Review: ‘Gangster Squad’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The year ... 1949... The place ... Los Angeles... and ruthless, sadistic, meglomaniac, Jewish gangster, Mickey Cohen (the brilliant Sean Penn), runs the show in this town.

We're talking drugs, guns, prostitutes, and (if he had his way) every wire bet placed west of Chicago would fall under his domain.

The guy is ruthless and a total nut job, completely lacking in charm. He's definitely no Michael Correleone.

To get an idea how Cohen's mind works, at some point in the film he yells to his crew of killers, ''You heard of Manifest Destiny? That's when you take what you can, when you can ... And I'm gonna take it all and not just because I can, but because this is my destiny...Los Angeles is my destiny."

Cohen is a thug. He doesn't even know which fork to use for the salad. And the guy likes to eat out a lot. So what does he do? Cohen hires an etiquette coach (Emma Stone). Of course, she also becomes his unfortunate lover.

So how do you stop a monster who has practically every politician, cop and judge in his pocket?

Luckily, Chief Of Police Parker (Nick Nolte) has come up with a plan. He recruits ex-war hero and LAPD Sgt. John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) to put together a secret squad to bring Cohen down. 

It doesn't take long for O'Mara to assemble the best of the best: Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who just happens to be in love with Cohen's girl, electronics wiz Conwell Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi), sharp shooter Max Kennard (Robert Patrick), his side-kick Navidad Ramirez (Michael Pena) and Officer Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie) who patrols the streets of South Central.

O'Mara's motto: "We're not solving a case here. We're going to war. And it's guerilla style war. Their unofficial name is ...'The Gangster Squad.'"

"Gangster Squad" is directed by Ruben Fleischer ("Zombieland") and written by Will Beal. It is based on the book Gangster Squad by Paul Lieberman and it has all the ingredients you'd expect in this kind of film.

Over the top violence, fully developed characters, a bit of humor, buddy relationships and, of course, a few love stories.

As for the production itself, production designer Maher Ahmad along with editors Alan Baumgarten and James Herbert, as well as, Academy Award winning costume designer Mary Zophres have done a brilliant job in recreating the Los Angeles of 1949.

From the sets to the elegant night clubs to the art deco buildings and the fabulous cars (why don't automobiles look like that anymore?) everything is authentic and transports us to the glamorous Golden Age of 1949.

"Gangster Squad" gives us a glimpse into Los Angeles when it was still the wild wild west and Burbank was just over the river.

The supporting cast, including Mireille Enos ("The Killing") as Connie O'Mara, John's pregnant and super understanding wife, is excellent.

I really enjoyed this film and gave "Gangster Squad" four bagels out of five. 

Check out our video for John's score and for more of our silly banter.

"Gangster Squad" opens in theatres on Jan. 11, 2013.

Please SUBSCRIBE to us on youtube and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page. Thanks everyone.

Let us know what you think about this film.

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December 13, 2012 | 9:35 am

Review: ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

They're back ... the orcs, goblins, fairies, dwarfs, dragons, wizards, Mr. Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and a cameo by Hobbit Frodo (Elijah Wood). Shot in 48 FPS, instead of the usual 24, as well as 3D, Peter Jackson has once again created a visually stunning, exciting and magical film that takes us on a journey through Middle Earth.

The film opens with an aged Frodo (Ian Holm) telling a story. We are instantly transported to the dwarf's kingdom known as Erebor. It's here the little guys are living happily ever after with their gold and gem stones -- hat is until they get a visit from a fire breathing dragon known as Smaug. This is one nasty monster.

He not only destroys the dwarfs home, but Smaug steals the Arkenstone, a beautiful jewel that holds great power. Okay, so after this visually stunning opener, we are then transported to the home of a young Bilbo (Martin Freeman) The little hobbit is living a peaceful, orderly house in Bag End. But his tranquil existence is about to come to an abrupt end.

Out of the blue, Bilbo gets a visit from Gandalf The Grey (Ian McKellan) followed by 13 dwarfs and their leader, the very sexy and very legendary warrior, Thorin (Richard Armitage). Gandalf uses every trick in his arsenal to convince the super relunctant Bilbo to accompany the dwarfs on a trek to find their stolen treasure and reclaim their homeland.

Little did Bilbo realize that this journey would be an adventure of a lifetime ... One that takes him and the dwarfs into the Dark Mountain where they encounter treacherous lands swarming with goblins, orcs, deadly Wargs, giant spiders, sorcerers ... and of course ... A creature known as Gollum (Andy Serkis) and his Precious.

It's here, inside an underground lake, after finding a ring, Bilbo must discover the depth of his courage, as the fate of Middle Earth hangs in the balance.

For those of you who can't get enough of 'The Hobbit' don't worry, this is the first in a trilogy. Did I love this film as much as I did 'Lord Of The Rings'? ... No ... At times the comedy was a bit too much and bordered on corny.

As for the 48 FPS, I didn't mind it. But I do know many people who absolutely hated it.

Also I would have liked to see more of Cate Blanchett (Galadriel), Hugo Weaving (Elrod) and Christopher Lee (Saruman), but I'm sure their parts will be expanded in future films.

'The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey' opens in theatres Fri., Dec. 14 and I do urge everyone to see it, whether you're a fan or not. It's a sensational piece of filmmaking by Mr. Jackson. Not perfect, but really, really good.

Check out our video to find out our bagel scores.  Hint:  Mine is considerably higher than John's.

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November 4, 2012 | 6:51 pm

Review: ‘Lincoln’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Okay I know what some of you may be thinking...A film about Abraham Lincoln...Boring!!! Let me assure you it's anything but...boring.

Steven Spielberg has directed a riverting, intense, exciting, fascinating film about the President of the U. S. that put everything on the line, to pass the 13th amendent to the constitution, which would end slavery, throughout the country. And let me tell you...that was no easy task.

These guys will do everything and anything to help get this done. Seward even hires a trio of hooligans (John Hawkes, Tim Blake Nelson and James Spader) to help get Lincoln the votes he needs, by any means necessary. They actually bring a wonderful comic relief to the film.

What I found most interesting, (and apparently forgot from my history classes) it was the Republicans that were anti-slavery. The Democrats were vehemently pro-slavery and it wasn't only the Southern democrats...New Jersey, New York, Massachusettes were not big on the whole freedom thing either.

'Lincoln' was written by the award- winning playwright, Tony Kushner ('Angeles In America') which he adapted from two best selling non fiction books...and he does a fantastic job in capturing Lincoln the man.

The scenes between the President and his high strung, nuerotic wife, Mary (Sally Field) and his son, Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are quite touching. Kutchner and Spielberg also captures what a shrewd and clever politican Lincoln was, willing to make back room deals to get this amendment pass.

And wow, did this guy love to tell stories...long ones, but always interesting especially the way Daniel Day Lewis tells them.

Lewis's performance is absolutely memorizing and I predict, he will get another Oscar for his work.

The film takes place in 1865...the war is still raging, but the South is losing. Lincoln has just four months to get this amendment passed. Once the war ends, it's over. No one will care about passing it...

The President is up against the clock. And even though, we all know how it turns out, you can't help but sit on the edge of your seat as the Congressman start to vote.

Watching this film with an election coming up, you can't help but think about, how far we've come, and how far will still have to go.

Speilberg, who I felt missed badly with 'War Horse' has redemmed himself with this epic film. And for that reason, I gave 'Lincoln' which opens in theatres, Friday November 9th, 5 bagels out of 5.

John wasn't as passionate as I was about the film, but he did enjoy it...kind of.

Check out our video to see his bagel score and for more of our banter .

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October 24, 2012 | 8:32 pm

Review: ‘Cloud Atlas’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

'Cloud Atlas' is a film that some people, like myself, will find absolutely brilliant, while others, like John (the other half of 'Two Jews On Film') will feel just the opposite.

Some critics have already called it prententious as well as an indulgent mess. All these varying opinions simply prove one thing...When it comes to movies, art, music, culture...it's all so subjective.. Therefore, my suggestion, is...go see this film and judge for yourself.

'Cloud Atlas' directed and written by Lana Wachowski and her brother Andy of the 'Matrix' fame along with Tom Tykwe ('Run Lola Run') is based on David Mitchell's best selling novel of the same name.

The film spans five centuries and explores how the actions and consequences of individuals impact one another through the past, present and future. Characters meet and reunite...Are born and reborn. And...everything and everyone is connected.                                                    

One soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and a single act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution. 'Cloud Atlas begins in 2346, and in 1849, 1936, 2012, 2144 and back to 2346.

The film is part action, mystery, romance, scifi, fantasy and even at times, a comedy. There are six stories and the actors including Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Susan Sarandon, Jim Broadbent, James D' Arcy, Hugh Grant, David Gyasi, Hugo Weaving, Ben Winshaw and the memorizing Doona Baein, play six different characters and they are all extraordinary, transcending genders in some cases.

When the film begins we meet Tom Hanks, a one eyed goat herder living in post apocalyptic Hawaii and then in 1849 as an evil ship's doctor. In 2012, he's a balding skinhead who becomes a pop star after he throws a critic off the roof.

Two of Halle's characters are a crusading San Francisco journalist in 1973 and the last survivor of a lost civilization in 2345..

One of my favorite character that Jim Sturgess plays is a a robot warrior from the future living in New Seoul. He falls in love with a sexy, socially outlawed genetically cloned slave,Sonmi-451 (Doona Baein) who spends her brief existence as a compliant restaurant server.

With the help of Sturgess, she starts gains enlightenment and starts a revolution.

I could write pages about this complex, intriguing, fascinating film, but then why would you go see it...And see it, you must.

"Cloud Atlas' opens in theatres, Friday October 26, 2012 and I gave it 4 1/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see what John thought of this film and what I thought about his critique.and bagel rating.

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