July 26, 2012 | 6:04 pm

Review: “The Watch”

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Follow JewishJournal.com on

This so called comedy, is about four guys, who have come together to ‘watch over’ their suburban neighborhood of Glenview Ohio.

In this serene safe haven lives Evan Troutwig (Ben Stiller) a dull, civic minded man who loves his wife Abby (Rosemarie Dewitt), his neighborhood and his mangerial job at Cosco.

Shortly after the film begins the Cosco night watchmen is murdered propelling Evan to form a neighborhood watch to find the culprit and make sure something like that never happens again.

Not everyone, however, shares Evan’s enthusiasm for justice…Only three guys show up at his house for the first meeting…

Franklin (Jonah Hill) who still lives with his mom and has a large collection of guns hidden under his bed…Bob (Vince Vaughn, a tough talking dad with an uncontrollable teenage daughter, and the recently divorced and extremely horny, Jamarcus (the funny but underused, Richard Ayoade)

To Evan’s dismay, these dudes are more interested in drinking beer and shooting the breeze than doing any serious ‘watching’.

However that all changes when…

One evening, while out on patrol, the boys’ vehicle hits something that leaves behind a trail of green goo and they wind up finding a strange bowling ball like device that emits a beam of energy capable of destroying…well…practically anything and everything in its path…

What could this be? our fearsome foursome ponder.

It’s not until our manly men find a large creepy looking tentacle that they finally realize…

THERE ARE ALIENS IN THEIR MIDST.

Funny right? Hmm…not SO much.

The film is filled with stupid sexist bits that we’ve all seen before, unfunny jokes and tired performances from Stiller and Vaughn.  Only Ayoade brings to his part a few moments of humor, but definitely not enough to make this movie written by Seth Rogan (along with Jason Stern and Evan Goldberg)  worth seeing.

‘The Watch’ directed by Akiva Schaffer opens in theatres, Friday July 27, 2012 and received a very low bagel score from both John and myself. Check out our funny video review for more of our thoughts on this film which is definitely a DVD rental.

Please SUBSCRIBE to our youtube channel and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

July 24, 2012 | 10:49 pm

Review: “Killer Joe”

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

‘Killer Joe’ written by the brilliant, Pulitzer Prize winning playwright, Tracy Letts (based on his play) and directed by the 70+ year old, William Friedkin (Exorcist) blew me away for many reasons…But the main one is…

Matthew McConaughey’s extraordinary Oscar worthy performance as cop/hitman, Killer Joe Cooper. Never has McConaughey been better or more terrifying.

The film is a black comedy…violent, sexual, raw, thrilling and yes…funny in a very dark twisted, sort of way.

The story revolves around a trailer trash dysfunctional family and the killer they hire, to knock off someone, that is definitely NOT near and dear to them.

Sharla Smith (Gina Gershon) a woman who enjoys parading her naked body around her stepson, Chris (Emile Hirsch) shares a trailer with her loser hubby, Ansel (Thomas Haden Church) and his daughter, Dottie (Juno Temple)

Chris borrowed a large sum of money from a group of nasty men and now, they want it back. Trouble is, Chris is broke and can’t pay them. But the dude has a plan…Kill his mother (Ansel’s ex-wife) and collect the insurance money.

Daddy Ansel thinks it’s a super idea and he’s more than willing to help his son execute the plan. Now that’s a good father.

Unfortunately, as creepy as our guys are, murder is not exactly their thing. So they hire a cop/hitman, Killer Joe Cooper to do the job for them.

Problem solved, right? Not quite. Killer Joe won’t do the hit unless he’s paid his fee of $10,000 upfront. Looks like the boys are back to square one and Chris’s days are numbered.

But miracles do happen, even for a low life like Chris. Seems Joe has taken a fancy to kid sister Dottie and he agrees to forgo his $10,000 fee for…one dinner date with the lovely girl. Chris says…no way, but Miss Dottie agrees.

Dinner starts out perfect, but then…well I don’t want to spoil the fun by giving anything a way. But I will tell you that what happens in ‘Killer Joe’ is definitely jaw dropping shocking, making this movie, one you’ll remember for a very long time.

This is also one of director William Friedkin’s best films in years…Which just goes to prove the saying…‘some things do get better with age’.

John and I both gave ‘Killer Joe’ which opens in theatres Friday July 27, 2010 4 1/2 bagles out of 5….John’s biggest bagel score in a really long time.

Check out of video for more of our thoughts.

Please SUBSCRIBE to our channel and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film Facebook page.

Let us know your thoughts on this NC17 RATED indie film.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

July 23, 2012 | 11:03 pm

Review: ‘Ruby Sparks’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Ruby Sparks’ directed by the ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ team of Jonthan Dayton and Valerie Faris was written by Zoe Kazan (Eli’s granddaughter) who also stars in it with her real life boyfriend, Paul Dano.

This is the story of a novelist, Calvin (Paul Dano) who had a mega bestsellar when he was 19, but for the last several years, he’s had major writer’s block.

Poor boy’s is worried that he may be a ‘one hit wonder’. He’s also concerned that his only friend is his dog, Scotty. But Calvin’s not completely alone…He does have his brother Harry (Chris Messina) and his therapist (Elliot Gould) listen to his problems.

Of course, Calvin’s solitary life may have to with the fact that he’s a control freak and Woody Allen neurotic.

But things are about to change for our guy, in ways that neither he or us could ever, imagine.

One night, Calvin dreams about an adorable red headed girl named Ruby Sparks (Zoe Kazan) He wakes up, heads straight to his typewriter, (no computer for him) and writes about this dream girl.

And to his shock, the girl becomes…real…So real in fact, that one morning, Calvin finds her eating breakfast at his kitchen table.

To say anymore would spoil the fun and ‘Ruby Sparks’ is really…fun. It’s also an original, super-entertaining, off-beat, touching, fantasy love story about…losing control, letting go and taking a chance.

The film has lovely performances by the two leads, as well as a great supporting cast, including Annette Benning as Calvin’s new age mom and Antonio Banderas, as her artistic husband.

‘Ruby Sparks’ which opens in theatres Wednesday, July 25th, 2012 is one of the few films that John and I actually agree on. We both gave it 4 bagels out of 5.

Check out our video to see more of our thoughts

Please SUBSCRIBE to our youtube channel and LIKE us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

LOVE to hear what you think about ‘Ruby Sparks’.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

July 18, 2012 | 8:24 pm

Review: “The Dark Knight Rises”

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Okay, the bottom line…‘The Dark Knight Rises’ directed by the uber talented Christopher Nolan, is not only the very best comic book hero movie ever made, but in my opinion, it’s worthy of an Oscar nod. That’s how good it is.

The film, which was written by Nolan and his brother, Jonathan, with story by David S. Goyer, picks up 8 years after the death of Gotham’s, D. A. Harvey Dent, as well as the demise of Bruce Wayne’/Batman’s (Christian Bale) soul mate, Rachel Dawes.

For those of you who may have forgotten, Dent is the dude who went psycho and became the super evil ‘Two Face’. Comissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) convinced Batman to take the fall for Dent’s murder so he could implement extremely harsh anti crime laws.

And it worked. For the last 8 years, Gotham City has been crime free. Problem is…everyone thinks that Dent was a hero and Batman…a villain.

And speaking of the Batman…He’s been hiding out in his mansion, suffering from depression and an assortment of physical ailments. In other words, he is one messed up Super Hero.

But soon everything is about to change for Batman and for Gotham.

To quote Selma Kyle, aka Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) as she dances with Bruce at a charity ball, thrown by wealthy philanthropist, Miranda Tate (Oscar winner Marion Cotillard),,,‘There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne’.

And that’s putting it midly. The storm comes in the form of a man known as Bane (Tom Hardy) Bane is a former member of The League Of Shadows. He’s big, bad, brutal and extremely lacking in the looks department…In fact, the dude looks like an alien, thanks to a leather tubular mask that covers most of his face.

Oh and I should mention that Bane sounds a lot like, Darth Vader.

Terrorist Bane has two goals…Destroy Gotham City and crush Batman…

To say this guy has major anger issues is putting it mildly. You really can’t blame him too much. He spent his formative years in a dark pit and had most of his face has been destroyed.. But hey, no one’s childhood is perfect.

What I really loved about ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ besides the spectacular set pieces (74 minutes of the film was shot with the big Imax camera)) the story hooks you on a deep emotional level, lifting it above your typical ‘comic book super hero’ movie.

Batman/Bruce Wayne is tormented. His heart is broken and he’s lost his direction in life. Even his loyal butler Alfred (Michael Caine) begs him to…get out of the house and start living again.

And eventually Bruce/Batman does just that….

The supporting cast, including Joseph Gordon Levitt as policeman John Black, who knows Batman’s true identiy and Morgan Freedman, as inventor Lucius Fox are all wonderful

Anne Hathaway, besides looking great in a cat suit, brings just the right amount of humor to her part.

The stunts, the vehicles, the action are just what you expect them to be and more. Plus there are a couple of surprises you won’t see coming.

I gave ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ which opens in theatres Friday July 20, 2012, 5 bagels out of 5 (my highest rated film of 2012) Please check out our video to find out what John thought and his bagel rating.

Love to hear what you think about ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and please subscribe to our Youtube channel and like us on our Two Jews On Film facebook page.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

July 7, 2012 | 1:05 pm

Review ‘Savages’

Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Savages’ directed by the always unpredictable Oliver Stone, has something for everyone…Well almost everyone…Beautiful Califronia beaches, great scenery, beheadings, intense brutal over the top violence, hot sex, three way sex, and…

Some of the best pot grown in the United States and her borders.

‘Savages’ is based on the best selling novel by Don Winslow. He, along with Shane Salerno and Oliver Stone wrote this electrifying script.

Ben (Aaron Johnson) is a peace loving Buddist. He likes to spend his spare time helping the children in undeveloped countries. His BFF is quite the opposite to say the least. His name is Chon (Taylor Kitsch) and he is an angry, ex-combat soldier ready to kick ass at a moment’s notice.

These two guys are not only friends, but they are business partners.

The business…Pot…Thanks to the seeds Chon brought back from Afghanistan, they have become extremely successful. Their weed has the highest HGH level in the country.

The guys live in a beautiful house overlooking Laguan Beach along with their shared lover, friend and fellow helper, named ‘O’ (Blake Lively). She loves and makes love to both of them….And there are no complaints from anyone.

In fact, life couldn’t be better for our threesome…Until…

The Mexican Cartel, run by a vicious, drug Queen known as Elena, played by Selma Hayek, in one of her best performances in a very long time decides to join them in their lucrative weed business.

The guys aren’t interested, but unfortunately, Elena can be plenty persuasive when she wants to be…Of course, having a sadistic right hand man, Lado (Benecio Del Toro) makes it quite easy for her to get what she wants.

Lado enjoys cigars, the love of several good women and…chopping off heads. Hey, no one’s perfect

In ‘Savages’ Stone does what Stone does best - He gives us non-stop, over the top, edge of your seat, violence, with a big dash of sexuality and sex.

Yes, the film is gory, with two different endings, but it takes you into a world that most people would prefer not to look at, but just like seeing a car collision, we can’t help but peek.

I must mention that John Travolta gives an extremely entertaining performance as a crooked DEA agent whose wife is dying of cancer..

‘Savages’ which opens in theatres Friday July 6, 2012 received 4 bagels out of 5 from me and John came pretty close in his bagel rating as well. Check out our video for more of our thoughts.

Please subscribe to our Youtube channel and like us on our Two Jews On Film Facebook page. Thanks everyone.

 

0 Comments — Leave your comment