Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz
By Joan Alperin Schwartz
Mirror, mirror on the wall…Who’s the fairest Of Us All?
The answer to that question, is definitely Miss Julia Roberts, who plays Snow White’s (Lily Collins) evil stepmother/queen, in director Tarsem Singh’s new film, ‘Mirror Mirror’.
Ms Roberts absolutely nails the part.
In fact, she is the only reason, to see this remake of the classic fairytale, but she is one good enough reason. I think this is one of her best performances in a long time.
For those of you not familiar with the story…Yes, it is possible…Snow White’s daddy, the king (Sean Bean) disappeared one dark and stormy night…maybe it snowed, but in any case, he was never seen or heard from again…
The king’s wife, aka the evil one, has been ruling the land ever since and, has all but destroyed the kingdom and its people.
You see, Miss Queenie is your basic narcissist…obssessed with her looks and size 2 figure. I’m sure we’ve all run into that type once or twice…
She’s also verbally abusive to Snow, who really doesn’t seemed all that bothered by it…until…
Snow finds out that the Queen, has bled the people dry, by taxing them to the hilt. Hey, spider venom is expensive…and this Queen needs a ton of it.
Okay, so Snow, unbeknownst to the Queen, sneaks out of the palace and heads for town. Miss White wants to see for herself how bad things really are.
Well as fate would have it, Snow runs into…none other than…Prince Charming…(aren’t they all).
And of course, she meets…The Seven Dwarfs…but they’re no longer the seven little guys we’ve come to know and love. For some reason, they’ve been renamed…Gone are Happy, Dopey, Sleepy, Mopey…etc…They’ve been replaced by…Grimm, Napoleon, Pint-size, Butcher, Chuckles, Grub and Wolf…If you stay past the credits, you will find out why…
Does this new take on ‘Snow White’ work? Yes and no…Visually it’s beautiful…Loved the sets and the costumes.
Armie Hammer as Prince Charming is…charming…Nathan Lane as Brighton, the Queen’s punching bag man-servant is fine…Nathan does Nathan and that’s always enjoyable.
Lily Collins (daughter of Phil) is slightly bland as Snow. I would have liked her to bring some quirkness to the part.
‘Mirror Mirror’ is a bit edgier and hipper but unfortunately it misses being a ‘Shriek’ or even a ‘Princess Bridge’.
However, the film is still fun and at times funny. So if you have kids, are a kid, have a kid inside of you, then ‘Mirror Mirror’ which opens in theatres Friday, March 30, 2012, is the perfect movie to see this weekend.
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April 10, 2012 | 4:08 pm
Posted by Joan Alperin-Schwartz
The year is 2079…And in this so-called SciFi futuristic thriller, entitled ‘Lockout’, 500 of the most violent criminals are kept in a state of suspended animation on a space station orbiting above earth. This high tech penitentiary is known as MS One.
I say so-called, because the sleeping prisoners are the only aspect of this film that can be deemed, futuristic or even, scifi.
The film was written (along with Luc Besson) and directed by James Mather and Stephen St. Leger who I guess are famous for a 15 minute short called ‘Prey Alone’.
Anyway, Guy Pearce plays Agent Snow, who has been set up for a crime he didn’t commit. He’s about to be sent off to MS One for the ‘big sleep’, when as fate or the movie gods would have it, there’s a glitch in the prison’s computer system and viola…the bad guys wake up and you guessed it…all hell breaks loose…
To make matters worse for the powers in charge, the President’s daughter, Emilie (Maggie Grace) just happens to be visiting the prison to investigate rumors that long periods of artifical sleep can make these bad guys even more psycho than they already are.
Back to Agent Snow. He gets an offer he can’t refuse…‘The Big Sleep’ or rescue Emilie before the prisoners find out who she is. And well, you can imagine the rest.
And here lies my basic problem/problems with the film.
Besides a scenerio I’ve seen thousands of times…over the top psychos with lots of tattoos, a damsel in distress and an anti-hero going against all odds to rescue the girl, the main character, Agent Snow, spends so much time cracking one joke after another that I wanted to throw my shoe at him. I get it…This dude doesn’t do intimacy, but does he have to be so annoyingly glib…Apparently the writers think he does.
Lastly, this film could have taken place in any prison…in any part of the world…with the exact same script. No one had to travel to space to bring us a bad version of…‘Die Hard’.
On a positive note, I did enjoy the first 40 minutes of the film and for that reason, I gave ‘Lockout’ 2 1/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see John’s bagel rating and hear his thoughts.
‘Lockout’ opens in theatres Friday April 13, 2012. Wait for the DVD.