Yes, Artie Lange is Jewish; no, he’s not dead

Howard Stern’s sidekick, Artie Lange, of “Beer League” fame, is, in fact, Jewish. He’s also, surprisingly, still alive after stabbing himself nine—NINE—times. From the bastion of in-depth journalism, the New York Post:

Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. “We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He’s a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don’t forget how great he is.”

The rest is here.