Recession hits heaven and hell

You don’t need to be told the financial meltdown has been bad—though yesterday I finished a story for The Jewish Journal that in 3,000 words does just that. But did you know that the U.S. economy has become so important that a rock thrown in our pond is rippling in the afterlife?

“Forget about streets paved with gold and rivers flowing with jewels. The recession has spread to Heaven,” Not the Los Angeles Times is reporting.

Among the causalities: prayer requests have been outsourced to India, the heat in hell has been dialed down to a comfortable 85 and “Muslim martyrs expecting to spending eternity with 72 virgins will now have to make do with inflatable dolls.”