Playing a mile high gives Rockies direct line to God

As expected the Colorado Rockies won again last night, but did you know they have an unfair advantage, that God is their biggest fan?

No, seriously: The Rockies are running a faith-based business over there this year, banning Playboy and loud vulgar music from the clubhouse this year as they strive to field a team that embraces “a Christian-based code of conduct they believe will bring them focus and success.” 

The team’s CEO and chairman says that “I believe God sends signs, and we’re seeing those,” which is good, because those godless heathens in the Royals clubhouse are finally receiving the rain of fire and brimstone that they obviously deserve. Meanwhile, some former Rockies say the new rules are a bit strange.

 

“Look, I pray every day,” former Rockie Mark Sweeney says. “I have faith. It’s always been part of my life. But I don’t want something forced on me. Do they really have to check to see whether I have a Playboy in my locker?”

And this is what they had to say in May, long before there recent run winning 18 of the last 19, including a miraculous run to make the playoffs. I’m not sure even God could beat Las Vegas on sports betting, but if the Rockies are His team, I should have put money on them to win the World Series about the time they were fourth in the NL West with less than a month remaining.

Thanks to Troy the Masters. for sending this along. And I’m just kidding: God could totally break Vegas.