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May 27, 2008 | 3:55 pm

Why Jews, in theory, don’t drink

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Give beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish;

let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.

Surprisingly, those lines can be found in the 31st Proverb. Surprising because we all know the misery isn’t gone. Surprising, too, because drunkenness iss not a virtue to the Christian or the Muslim or the Jew.

Of course, sinners sin.

There is an old Yiddish saying—“a shicker is a goy“—that condemns the presumed gentile propensity to drink. The implicit belief among many Jews was that drunkards were uneducated louses, too busy imbibing for self improvement and social advancement. (This is one reason it’s so hard for Jewish addicts to seek help.) But it turns out there may be another reason Yids pass on the fermented punch, outside, let’s not forget, Purim:

Photo
Slivovitz, the Yid’s liquor

There is a biochemical basis for Jewish abstinence. Many Jews—fifty per cent, in one estimate—carry a variant gene for alcohol dehydrogenase. Therefore, they, like the East Asians, have a low tolerance for alcohol.

That appears in an interesting article about the history of hangovers from this week’s New Yorker. What the “biochemical basis” means is that Jews don’t hold their liquor well. They quickly flush and, if the recently developed Hebrew word for “hungover”—hamarmoret—is any indication, have some nasty intestinal disruptions.

Makes me wonder: Why would a wedding in Cana need 120 to 180 gallons of miracle wine?

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the notion that Jews don’t drink is, as my Litvak ancestors would say, narishkayt - a myth. If it were true, would there be a dozen different Yiddish words for various stages of drunkenness? ‘shiker’ you’ve heard of course, but ‘bglufen’...‘ongeshnosket’ ... if your grandparents hadn’t been so obsessed with zol-di-kinder-nit-farshteyn we’d all still know enough mameloshn to understand that these words weren’t just used to describe the goyim. Indeed, note that the phrase is ‘a shiker is a goy’—not ‘a goy is a shiker’. In other words, a Jew who habitually gets shiker is no better than a goy ... and why would such an imprecation exist if Jews didn’t get shiker?

But don’t take my word for it; take it from my zeyde. In 1940 he recounted for his landsmen in New York the kinds of celebrations that went on in the old shtetl every Simchas Toyre. (My translation from the Yiddish):

......

“...When services ended people set off in groups to make brokhes at each others homes. One would invite his friends for drinks and refreshments, and when the group had consumed everything available they went to a second home, then a third, until nearly everyone had had a chance to play host. At each stop people grew a little tipsier. Singing as they walked from house to house, they would enter shouting “gut yontef!“ at the tops of their lungs, until the walls fairly shook….

“...Around four o’clock, people began assembling at the homes of the gabais, the officers of the town’s important clubs and societies. The biggest and most important of these affairs were held by the Khevra Kadisha [Burial Society] and the Khevra Shas [Talmud Society.]
...As soon as each guest took his place, he was served a portion of honey cake by one attendant, while a second poured him a glass of whisky. Everyone raised a glass to the head gabai, then they raised glasses again to all the former head gabais. Then they raised glasses to each other. They raised glass after glass, knocking back drink after drink. Eventually they began singing, and then they began dancing. Soon the room took on an entirely different appearance, so that looking at this high-spirited crowd you would scarcely imagine the serious, sacred duties that occupied the gentlemen of the Burial Society the rest of the year.“

There is much more, but you get the idea…

L’Khayim!

Comment by a cassel on 5/28/08 at 5:05 pm

We may not be able to drink, but we can burn through an ounce of hindu-kush or a finger of hash like nobodies business,wink.

“...[Spicoli, talking on the phone, hits his head with a shoe]
Jeff Spicoli: That was my skull! I’m so wasted!“

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Comment by Shoded Yam on 5/28/08 at 5:44 pm

In theory, I don’t drink either. For example I would never drink gin, unless there’s nothing but gin.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 5/28/08 at 6:22 pm

“My name is Shapiro, I’m an Alcoholic!“

Oy Vegas!

Comment by Jetstream on 5/31/08 at 8:06 pm

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