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January 9, 2009 | 4:43 am
Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Jett with John
Jett Travolta’s death has inspired fresh attacks on the Church of Scientology’s take on medicine. It also caused one reader of E! Online to wonder just what a funeral would look like for a follower of L. Ron Hubbard. I’m embarrassed to say that while I had no idea, E!‘s Answer B!tch did. (To be fair, they probably just got on Wikipedia). Here’s what she wrote:
A hallmark of Scientology is the belief that humans are immortal spirits, or thetans—beings who have lived many lifetimes and whose potential is unlimited.
A funeral, therefore, focuses on the departed like this…
...by addressing him or her directly during the service, urging the departed to move on to better times. Tommy Davis, spokesman for Church of Scientology International, told me today that a Scientology service “addresses the person as a spiritual being and is meant to acknowledge the life they lived and their right to move on.” Scientologists also believe that Jett’s thetan will move to a new home in another human body.
On the official Scientology website, a news release includes a passage from a typical church funeral service. If used to memorialize young Jett, it will go like this:
“We do not contest your right to go away. Your debts are paid. This chapter of thy life is shut. Go now, dear Jett, and live once more in happier time and place. Thank you, Jett.”
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