Nebraska authorities have arrested a man suspected of being the “Butt Bandit.” (I’m having to do everything I can right now to not follow that sentence up with something obscene. Must ... fight ... sort of funny ... remarks ... ) The Cherry County district attorney charged Tom Larvie, 35, of Valentine, Neb., with nine counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace. You want to know why, right?
Larvie is suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.
Against the protests of copy machines and stained-glass windows, I hope Larvie is innocent. If not, he better hope his punishment does not include any prison time. Butt Bandit isn’t the kind of name that would earn you much cred in the prison yard, though I’m sure its bearer would be plenty popular.