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July 1, 2008 | 8:47 am
Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

I’m not one to brag, but it’s important to note before going on that I’m a bestselling author. You’ve know doubt heard of my book, The Bible, but it’s not always so clear you—that’s the universal you—know what is in it. For example: I told Adam quite early on that man would one day leave his father and mother (yes, this was confusing for Adam, who had no parents) to take a beautiful bride. Marriage and family and offspring, amen!
But too many of my children these days have missed a crucial part of that statement: “shall leave his father and mother.” You’ve heard of them. They’re called Twixters, and they are like Tom Hanks in “Big”—growing older and larger but not yet ready to forgo free rent, even, in many cases, after they have cleaved to a spouse.
I am not pleased.
(Fear not if you think this commentary a ridiculous topic; you will not be smited. Just leave your comments below.)
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Here is a comment we can sink our teeth into for issues. In all of this I give God the complete benefit of the doubt if not entirely blind faith.
First - the sentence (‘verse’ is a little too poetic for his purpose) “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother etc.” is not addressed in dialog to Adam but by the divine naarator to the unstated reader/scholar - us. Looking forward rather than backward in the statement, it defines the woman’s identity and their relationship as defined by and through his own. That’s the antifeminist plan, Stan, and anyone who gets upset about it ought to be honest about the place of goddess worship in their thinking or at least how it impacts their chances of getting laid.
Next - (and back away from literalism) according to ‘Old-Earth Creationism’, Adam certainly did have parents, Cro-Magnons who were uninspired by the divine soul that God ‘breathed’ into Adam’s nostrils in G2:7. Was Adam the first hippie? One may debate the veracity of Bible verses but not for crude and dumb reasons please, certainly not in context of the massive amount of commentary on those points by very smart people.
Next - the point is well taken regarding twixters, but that is at least a three way street also taking into account the parents’ actions, and the social priorities that change the rules of the game faster than the social atomic units (‘people’) can or should adapt. Or is that a message that social policy should be encouraging and aiding the same policies advocated by the Bible? Is that statement of mine also going too fast for some people to adapt?
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“One, two/ One, two/ This is just/ a test”