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May 26, 2008 | 11:24 pm

God’s Blog #1: An introduction

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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I’ve lived a long life. Longer than anyone can remember. So long, no one knows where I came from. And during that time, I’ve been called a lot of names: Abba, Adonai, Ancient of Days, the Almighty, and many more than don’t begin with an “A.”

Who am I? I Am who I Am. The Creator, quite simply, but you can call me God (or G-D, if it makes you more comfortable).

And I’ve decided to share with you the Lord’s wisdom on the vagaries and mysteries of life. Yes, the Bible already provides a manual for holy living, page after page of instruction and encouragement, failure and redemption. But how much has it really taught you about your God? A lot? Really?

Quick: What’s my favorite sports team? And what do I think about evolution or about the American presidential race?

You’re not sure, and I am going to solve that.

I am of the opinion, which means it is true, that there are already far too many self-indulgent memoirs on the market. My blog will not add to that “literature,” though it will occasionally offer reflections on times past. (If you are looking for a good biography of the Holy of Holies, pick up Jack Miles’ book.) Here, and also here, you’ll discover Jehovah’s thoughts on a host of topics, from sports and science to politics and pain, from false religions to religious intolerance.

All of this will be channeled by my servant, the mildly conceited one who thought it would be humorous to call himself a lesser “creator.” This is his reward, and he’s been known to be lame, so let the Lord know how His ghostwriter is doing. The comments are open.

Shalom!

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HaShem!

Great to have you on board!

grin

Comment by Dennis Wilen on 5/26/08 at 11:34 pm

Yes, my son, I knew you would be pleased to have another blogger.

Comment by God on 5/26/08 at 11:43 pm

I have a few questions.
- When You said in the sixth Sinai commandment “You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name”, were You just kidding?
- Bearing in mind the depth and nuances and all that, can we just skip the middle man and dispense with the literal meaning of it as well?
- Why do You get so upset with false prophets? Is there a relationship between C6 and that issue? Nobody’s perfect, but I mean - death? C’mon.
- What if the false prophet is just kidding? I know You refer to Yourself as holy and sacred etc., but You created us with humor and egos, why not play the ‘straight man’ for every schnook with a writer’s blog, er, block. After all, we’re not saying NOTHING is sacred, just God… What!

Comment by Ben Plonie on 5/27/08 at 7:17 am

So, I understand why bad things happen to bad people (quite obvious actually), but why do bad things happen to good people?

Comment by VideoJew Jay Firestone on 5/27/08 at 9:36 am

What is the difference between crocodiles and alligators?

Why Yom Kippur? You know your people like food, then why make them fast? We get hungry, I’m sure you know.

Comment by Sharon on 5/31/08 at 6:52 pm

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