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September 18, 2008 | 12:55 pm

Gay shul’s blessing for anonymous sex *

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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Oh my. JTA has a shocking feature about a new blessing a gay synagogue in San Francisco has developed for anonymous sex:

Among the most innovative—and controversial—aspects of the siddur soon to be released by San Francisco’s main gay synagogue is a prayer for “unexpected intimacy.”

The new prayer is meant to be recited after engaging in anonymous sex, though those involved in the project say it could also be said for other meaningful encounters with strangers.

It is featured in the forthcoming siddur created by Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, a 31-year-old synagogue in San Francisco affiliated with the Reform movement.

“In the dark, in a strange place, our father Jacob encountered a stranger with whom he grappled all night,” the prayer begins, referring to the biblical story of Jacob wrestling with the angel. “He never knew the stranger’s name, yet their encounter was a blessing, which turned Jacob into Israel and made him realize, I have seen God face-to-face.”

The prayer, titled “Kavannah for Unexpected Intimacy,” goes on to ask God—“who created passion and wove it throughout creation”—to permit the encounter to be a blessing “that allows us to both touch and see the Divine.”

Proponents of the siddur see the prayer—included in a section of innovative blessings meant to enhance life-cycle moments—as an effort to elevate a practice that, in some quarters, is viewed as integral to gay culture. But even among Jewish leaders that the gay community regards as allies, the prayer is seen as crossing a line, sanctifying an activity that Judaism reviles.

That is the most outrageous reading I’ve ever heard of Jacob and the stranger. So that’s why they “wrestled” all night. Right ...

Casting unquestioning acceptance aside—but not reaching for stones—this is a bastardization of Israel’s story and a poor attempt to get God’s approval for visiting bathhouses. Rabbi Elliot Dorff, a sage among American Jewish thinkers and a co-author of an opinion permitting same-sex marriage and the ordination of gay rabbis in the Conservative movement, doesn’t mince words:

“A one-night stand is officially an act of prostitution in the Jewish tradition,” Dorff told JTA’s Ben Harris. “It’s not just that it’s not ideal, it’s that it really is seen as being something that a Jew ought not to engage in.”

*Updated: I just spoke with the shul’s Rabbi Camille Angel, who is upset with Harris’ article. She wouldn’t provide details but said, “We are in conversations with JTA about retracting the story based on both inaccuracies and the harmful representation that the story is generating.”

I’ll give you more as I get it.

(Hat tip: Jeffrey Weiss at the DMN religion blog)

7 Comments — Leave your comment

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HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAAAARRRRR AAAAAAAHAAAAAA… AHAHAHEEEHEEEHOHOHOHOHOOOO gasp gasp… (I’m so sorry I ever smoked…)

This is priceless. I had a buddy who who lived in a thin walled apartment. One night he couldn’t sleep listening to a woman next door screaming in passion - Oh Lord! Oh Jesus! He finally yelled back “Yes, my daughter?”

Rather than promote intolerance, who is this reactionary Elliot Dorff to stand in the way of love and pleasure? Why indeed no blessing for prostitution? And the modern term for prostitute is ‘sex worker’. Get with the program, Rabbi Joe McCarthydorff. Are you telling me that god or whatever is against people engaging in a little harmless reproductive simulation therapy between consenting adults? A little joy replacement supplementation? Look here Reb Rabbi, it is what it is. Let’s get this straight, you should excuse the expression. Your job is to make it all work out, capische? Otherwise better set an Outlook alert to the expiration date on your contract. The time for moral courage was before the first blessing on a ham sandwich.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 9/18/08 at 1:38 pm

The Jews just never Learn. Are you guys ready for another exile…I hope this time its longer. Thank God I am not a Jew anymore…there is no blessing for the Jews anymore once you start accepting crap like this. I hope I don’t fall in the same lot as you all just because I am “technically” Jewish.

Comment by A prophet ignored again on 9/18/08 at 8:59 pm

You probably have not been around here enough to know I am kidding. What I am saying is that by opening the can of worms, Rabbi Dorff has no right to complain about where they have traveled.

But don’t worry about the blessing for the Jewish nation, it is unconditionally guaranteed by the manufacturer and it is permanent. Don’t worry about falling into the same lot, as you personally have already given up your seat on the last bus to Jerusalem. Don’t forget to write.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 9/18/08 at 9:19 pm

Surprisingly you want to go to Jerusalem….thought it would be Tel Aviv for you! I know HaShem is with me on this, I am just separating myself from you Hellenizers. We will see each other in Jerusalem all right, you in a dress and me with the sword…and the sword of HaShem will bring a whole new meaning to being on your knees!

Comment by A prophet ignored again on 9/19/08 at 4:22 am

You obviously are not reading into this too deeply so I advise you to give it up.

I just naturally assumed that if you gave up as a Jew you had become a Christian. Silly me. It seems you have become a Muslim. Nice of you to reveal the face of the Religion of Peace, not that we didn’t know that already.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 9/19/08 at 7:26 am

At first I thought it was a prank, after surfing several minutes through the news I realized that it wasn’t even a joke. I don’t wanna make mock of those guys, I do respect their sexual choice and their fight for the civil rights, but I don’t think they should pretend to be religious… Faith should be above all that mess.

Comment by dildo on 11/03/09 at 3:47 pm

Talk about mixed feelings. As far as I am concerned, the real story here is not about some mixed-up people trying to justify one of the worst offences in the Bible, but the sad case of Rabbi Elliot Dorff (“co-author of an opinion permitting same-sex marriage and the ordination of gay rabbis in the Conservative movement”) who redefined the Biblical prohibition his own way and is intolerant of anyone else redefining it their own way.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 11/03/09 at 5:15 pm

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