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The God Blog

November 25, 2008 | 3:27 pm

Christian dating via text messaging

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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When I was graduating high school and entering college, there was a book by Joshua Harris that was gaining traction among evangelical Christians. It was called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” and what it meant for a few of my friends was kissing their girlfriend goodbye.

To be fair to Harris, the book’s focus was on growing closer to God by giving up dating—a cause the Apostle Paul, and this lowlier apostle, would support. But the book convinced a good many Christian women I knew—for some reason, never men—that they really shouldn’t date. Period. Instead, they should meet someone and if that someone seemed special, they should court; if the courtship survived, then they should get married. Placing purity at a premium, the model overemphasized precaution as a means of avoiding temptation.

I’ve been out of the dating game for quite a few years now, so I’m not privy to today’s M.O. Several of my friends have met their match online, which would have been unthinkable when I was single. And it appears a few companies, according to an email I received from dating-service BluePont, are hooking Christians up via text messaging:

Most Christians truly believe that God orchestrates our love stories. That might sound romantic but it’s true. At the same time, for many Christians, meeting that special someone in the “typical” places like church groups and events hasn’t worked—whether because they’ve been there, done that, or they simply don’t have the time. And most Christians are not going to be looking for their soulmate in secular places like bars and clubs!

So, what’s a single Christian to do?

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Technology of course, has offered additional tools—from Christian dating sites, to Christian singles’ groups and dating services and the latest trends in mobile messaging, it is easier than ever for you to find who you’ve been looking for. Because the reality is that God works in ways we cannot see, and uses means we may not have thought of before. He even works through proximity detecting text messaging.

That’s right, text messaging.

Bars and clubs—yuck! Only sinners spend time there. (Gulp.)

This service isn’t quite as lame as it sounds. And the “dating” doesn’t actually occur via text. BluePont just sends a message to your phone when your GPS signal indicates that you are in the neighborhood of someone who matches your profile. BluePont’s website proclaims:

This is magic When someone right is close
Your phones alert you both.
Private-message and meet right away.
Meet naturally by chance plus defy a little distance.
Give Chance a hand.

God works in mysterious ways, but this isn’t actually God at work. It’s technology—not magic—and I’m pretty sure he’s not manning the satellite.

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i have encountered a girl who has ‘kissed dating goodbye’ twice.  First time, i was the first guy she dated after she had taken a year long hiatus…didn’t work out, but i made some good friends through it.

second, my senior year in college i asked this girl out at our school bible study.  she promptly told me that she had been reading this book and wasn’t really dating.  like i was reading her mind i asked if it was joshua harris’ great fiction on dating and she responded yes as if i truly understood her.  i then laughed and told my friends nearby to come listen to this and join in my laughter.  not sure that makes me a good person, but oh well.

Comment by ethan on 11/25/08 at 6:21 pm

“your GPS signal indicates that you are in the neighborhood of someone who matches your profile”

Maybe I’m misunderstanding the post, but unless I am lost in the Angeles National Forest without food and water, I don’t want anyone GPS-ing anything. Perhaps God will lead me to my soulmate, but I don’t want him leading my soulmate to my home address.

Comment by Lynne on 11/25/08 at 6:40 pm

You might find my blog of interest.  I critique Harris’s book.  I call it “I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness”  It has some of both. 

My biggest concern is the false picture he presented of his “alternative” to dating.  He fails to share any of the problems that his approach has caused over the years including the 30 years it has been practiced in one form or antoher in his church.  He lists the 7 defects of dating but fails to mention any of the defects of his approach. 

http://www.ikdg.wordpress.com

Comment by Steve on 11/26/08 at 9:04 pm

thanks for the article ... helped

Comment by alena on 5/03/09 at 1:39 pm

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