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February 23, 2009 | 12:33 pm

‘An American Carol’ airball

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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Back in the fall, our arts and entertainment editor asked me if I wanted to write a feature about David Zucker’s new film “An American Carol.” The catch: we wouldn’t get to see the movie. I declined, and when I made the mistake last night of renting “An American Carol” I understood why screenings weren’t offered.

Zucker, who previously told The Journal about his conversion to conservatism, directed “Airplane!” and the “Naked Gun” trilogy. But among his more recent films, “BASEketball” left a lot to be desired and “Scary Movie 3” and “Scary Movie 4” were downright awful.

“An American Carol” was worse.

The premise of the film is that Muslim terrorists are looking for an American filmmaker to improve their recruitment video. (The old version was actually funny, though I can’t find a clip.) The terrorists turn to Michael Malone, a not-at-all-subtle impersonation of Michael Moore.

I laughed at the Moovealong.org Leni Riefenstahl Award for best documentary, which, of course, the mock Moore character receives for his film “Die, You American Pigs.” But after the opening scene in Afghanistan, during which a Taliban foot soldier gets scolded for wanting to vote—“We need a guest-worker program so that Mexicans can do the jobs the Taliban won’t”—“An American Carol” is light on humor and heavy on propaganda.

Indeed, David Zucker has made the right-wing equivalent of a Michael Moore film, except the poorly executed satire comes off as moralizing.

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R E Q U I E M
In memory of Hrand Dink

Lord,
king of this
boundless universe
master of all bygone
present and future times
of sin and redemption
conflict and harmony
nativity and demise
righteous judge of
Abel and Cain…
pray hear our
grievance…

Glance back
behold the slaughter
of the endless caravans
of that very first parish
of Your Son’s ministry
of faith hope and charity…
the silenced martyrs of faith
in a crucified Prince of Peace
and his message of peace
on earth and good will
toward men…

Glance back
and behold once more
with Your all-seeing eye
the baptism of the orphans
in the blood of their widowed
mothers felled as burnt offerings
to a jihad of jackals and wolves
on the butchered and charred
bodies of the last of their kin
the children of sacked Eden
land of Noah’s lofty haven—
the sacred mountain where
Your rainbow of harmony
appeared in the heavens
as a solemn promise
of peace…

And behold—
in the city of Constantine
in the muted shadow of
the captive temple of
Your Holy Wisdom
a clear righteous voice
of concord love and justice
is now silenced as a gray wolf
howls at a crescent moon
waning with each shot
in a sky the color of
innocent blood…

———————TATUL SONENTZ

Comment by Tatul Sonentz on 7/01/09 at 7:04 am

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