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October 6, 2009 | 11:41 am

Addicted to abortion: 15 dead babies in 16 years

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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She had 15 abortions in 16 years, and today Irene Villar, a literary agent and editor, is being having her story published as a book, “Impossible Motherhood.” From ABC News:

“This book really isn’t about using abortion as birth control,” [Dr. Lauren Streicher of Northwestern] told ABCNews.com. “She is unconsciously sabotaging contraception for self-mutilation. It’s a way of escaping feeling empty.”

“It’s an interesting book and she writes beautifully,” said Streicher, who hosts the nationally syndicated radio show for medical professionals, Reach MD. “But by her very admission, she is a psychologically disturbed woman.”

Ultimately, after some self-discovery and nursing her beloved dying dog, Vilar ends her dysfunctional marriage. She finds stability and love with a new husband, a writer and poet, and she builds a new family, reveling in the motherhood she once thought was impossible.

“Does that just end overnight? ” asked Streicher. “The death of your dog, the birth of your child? You still fight your demons.”

But Vilar blames much of her poor choices on a hypersexualized society that at once values the perfect mother, but also expects women to be sexually attractive to men and to achieve professionally.

“Women have a deep need for agency, for purpose and direction and society is not providing natural and healthy channels for creative action,” she said.

“In school and on TV, every message I get is what I am doing as a mother or wife is wrong,” said Vilar. “I should be thinking about a profession and not mothering. Everyone is having babies, and yet they don’t want to care for them.

“Are many of the repeat abortions in part an embodiment of this mixed message? A lost, ambivalent attempt at an act of agency that cannot find its proper vessel? “

It’s not clear when Villar had these abortions. Though I guess we could deduce, based on her age and the age of her children, that it was between 18 and 34. It’s shocking how casually the abortions are talked about in this story from ABC News. But probably the saddest thing is the complete lack of self-responsibility Villar exhibits. Tragic, really.

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“... the complete lack of self-responsibility Vilar exhibits.” I don’t get it. What does that mean? If Vilar had a proper degree of ‘self-responsibility’ what would she have done differently?

Perhaps the deliberate confusion about what a fetus is and what our relationship is to it that is to blame, not society’s channels and messages. What if society’s messages were that it is OK to kill infants, as in ancient Greece? Or that it is OK to kill Jews?

What I am really getting at is where was her other-responsibility. If the fetus is part of herself than maybe she is not ‘wrong’ to have fifteen abortions, or fifteen plastic surgeries for that matter. If the fetus is part of herself then none of this is our business. If the fetus is not part of herself then we can begin to discuss it.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 10/06/09 at 10:18 pm

I meant that she seems to blame other people and society for her decisions.

Comment by Brad A. Greenberg on 10/06/09 at 11:54 pm

I appreciate that. I am agreeing. And I meant that if a fetus is an entity that deserves a relationship and protection, then those other considerations obviously take second place. To say that ‘society’ has the power to compel one to commit an evil act was discredited at Nuremberg. The real problem is that society has defined a fetus as anything from a parasite to an invader to a threat, rather than a human-being-in-progress which is moronically obvious. A fetus is only separated from an infant status by a small finite amount of time.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 10/07/09 at 12:18 am

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Comment by Proton Soup on 10/08/09 at 7:34 pm

This is too sad. Right now I am writing my own life story, about how I sacrificed everything for my child before he was born and after. He was the result of rape (when i was a virgin) and I had a severe anxiety disorder called agoraphobia. I was homeless with this condition, having no one to support or help me. I wanted more than anything to abort or to adopt my child out but was unable to do either since I already had a mother’s heart… still, i could not bond with my child until AFTER he was born! Anyway, I was found by a catholic charity housing rescue mission and was enabled through them to recover and become more able to have and care for my son. I sacrificed for my son tremendously even after the time that I was living at the charity home… probably too much. But I would not take any of it back. That is what a mother does—- sacrifice for her child(ren)at all costs. I have a rare cancer in my gut now, but I am continuing to fight for the sake of my son. I am all my son has and he is all I have, except for my 67 yr old father who is no longer estranged from me since his last divorce. He now embraces me as his own and is getting to know my son.

Comment by Laura on 10/08/09 at 9:32 pm

The Jewish anti-abortion approach is to find the critical factors in a pregnant woamn’s decision to abort, and to alleviate them. I am thinking of the organizations Just One Life ( http://justonelife.org/ ) and EFRAT-CRIB (http://www.friendsofefrat.org/ ).

If the problem is the emotional support or money to create an environment for the baby, they provide the counseling, the layette and baby furniture and bottles, formula or whatever it takes. Every single mother encouraged to bring the baby to term and birth has been grateful for it.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 10/08/09 at 11:26 pm

“I set before you here this day, a blessing and a curse: a blessing for obeying the commandments of the LORD, your God, which I enjoin on you today; a curse if you do not obey the commandments of the LORD, your God.”

“The fifth of these is Thou shall not kill”

Comment by Tom on 10/18/09 at 1:10 pm

Tragic, indeed. Even if abortion should remain legal, one should not be cavalier about it, and Villar and ABC News certainly are.

Blaming society shows a lack of self-responsibility, and her actions show a lack of other-responsibility too.

I know I haven’t added anything to the discussion, but I might as well express my agreement with the thrust of this post.

Comment by Butters on 11/23/09 at 9:01 pm

i think in some cases its probably better to not have the baby than them having it and not raising it properly. but i think the lady your talking about should use something!

Comment by Bridges To Recovery on 1/20/10 at 9:37 pm

Some women may choose to abort - Would that be wrong for the State then to assist a women to have an abortion who is addicted to Drugs/Alcohol? Some would say we the State are then forcing a women that is ill to have an abortion.

Comment by Blood pressure monitors for home use on 10/21/10 at 8:55 pm

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