September 21, 2008 | 11:05 pm

That born-again ‘Basic Instinct’ for Joe Eszterhaus

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

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I created this post two weeks ago, but for some reason never published it. Here goes:

Stranger things have happened, but this one definitely attests to the power of religious healing.

Joe Eszterhas, who wrote “Basic Instinct” and “Showgirls,” is a new man, born again of the Holy Spirit. He gives his testimony at Newsweek’s On Faith religion site:

Why did God save the life of a man who had trashed, lampooned, and marginalized Him most of his life? Why did He take the time and the trouble to save me? It certainly wasn’t because I had written Basic Instinct and Showgirls, right? Was it because my wife and I had four little boys we were trying to raise? Possibly.

Or was it God’s divinely impish sense of humor? “Who, you? You’re praying? After everything you’ve done to break my commandments and after every nasty, unfunny thing you’ve written about Me and those who follow Me - now you’re sobbing? Praying? Asking Me to help you? Hah! Okay, fine, I’ll help you. But if I do, know this: My help will obliterate the old, infamous you. You’ll wind up turning your life inside-out. You’ll wind up stopping all of your excesses. You know what will happen to you? You’ll wind up telling the world what I did for you. You’ll wind up carrying my cross in church. Yes, I make all things new - and you will be new, too.”

Well, I thought I heard God saying all those things to me . . . and then all of the things God said would happen . . . did. My life has turned inside-out. I have stopped my excesses and replaced them with prayer and long walks. I am carrying the cross as often as they’ll let me at Holy Angels Church in Bainbridge Township, Ohio. And I have written a book as a thank-you to God. Not just for saving my life, but for saving me.

I am witness to and the beneficiary of God’s love for all of us. Am I am witness, too, to the fact that His love is so strong that it was even able to open my rusty old closed heart.

September 20, 2008 | 9:50 pm

Iranian scholar says ‘Tom and Jerry’ part of Jewish conspiracy

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Remember, the easiest answer is that the Jews did it. I mean, if Osama bin Laden is part of a Jewish world conspiracy, why couldn’t “Tom and Jerry” be?

To clarify for this Iranian scholar—Hasan Bolkhari, a cultural adviser to the Iranian Education Ministry—who can’t even base his anti-Semitic theories on basic facts, “Tom and Jerry” was not a product of the “Jewish Walt Disney Company.” As anyone who has ever watched the show knows, that crazy cat-and-mouse duo was the product of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, the same folks who brought us “The Flinstones,” “Scooby-Doo” and those great agents of Satan, “The Smurfs.” Hanna-Barbera was in cahoots on this one with MGM—and there’s no question about the Jewishness of that studio.

Oh. Maybe Bolkhari’s got a point ...

Hardly. His laughable logic is after the jump:

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September 19, 2008 | 9:27 pm

Mickey Mouse makes Islamic cleric’s hit-list

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Sheikh Salih Ibn al-Luhaydan, who this week said it was cool to kill the infidel owners of naughty western cable programs, has been outdone. YNet explains a Muslim cleric’s fatwa against that agent of Satan, Mickey Mouse:

Maybe Islamic cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid is just more of a Bugs Bunny sort of guy?

“The shari’a refers to the mouse as ‘little corrupter,’ and says it is permissible to kill it in all cases. It says that mice set fire to the house, and are steered by Satan. The mouse is one of Satan’s soldiers,” he goes on to say.

Thanks to the Friendly Atheist for the link; he’s also got a funny photo. Crazy fatwas are a common occurrence in the Muslim world. You might remember discussion last summer of fatwas that said drinking the prophet Muhammad’s urine was a blessing or that the restriction and men and women being alone together in public could be lifted at work if the woman breast-fed her male colleagues five times a day to establish familial ties. (That’s funny, but it’s no joke.)

Click here for a list of the “World’s Stupidest Fatwas.”

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September 19, 2008 | 7:57 pm

Palin withdrawals

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

From Salon

It’s been two days since I’ve written a post about Sarah Palin and a day and a half since even mentioning her name. I’m not sure my blog traffic can survive.

Jokes aside, Palin, like the Montauk Monster, has been a boon for Jewish Journal traffic, leading me to quip in our meeting last week that, indeed, Sarah Palin is good for the Jews. (Somehow I turned the same logic on its head for Monty.)

Michael Paulson, the inestimable religion reporter for the Boston Globe, makes a similar remark in this post about religion blog comments, which often aren’t in any better taste than comments at Gawker.

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September 19, 2008 | 6:17 pm

Saving Beck from Scientology

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

From Hollywoodprotest

If I could spend 30 minutes with one person, it would be Beck. The guy is a genius, and an odd one at that. I can only imagine what goes on inside his head.

Which is why it’s always surprised me that Beck is a Scientologist. Tom Cruse? Sure. But Beck? Really? We all blame our fathers for something, but Beck’s dad is the one who got him involved in Scientology. (I blame my father only for my ill-timed jokes and Scientology for “Modern Guilt,” Beck’s new album which was such a disappointment.)

And now, the news. Anti-Scientology protesters demonstrated outside Katie Holmes’ Broadway debut last night:

Picketers from the group Anonymous turned up to the production of All My Sons to greet theatregoers - including hubby TOM CRUISE - and warn them against the evils of the controversial religion.

As they donned masks at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre in New York, they shouted: “We are not boycotting Katie, we are not boycotting the play, we are protesting Scientology.

“It is evil. Scientology kills people. It follows you home at night. It is perverted.”

They also waved banners saying: “Free Katie, Keep Tom.”

Other famous Scientologists include JOHN TRAVOLTA and KIRSTIE ALLEY, but it was singer BECK who was, bizarrely, also targetted by the group.

One flag read: “Run, Katie, Run! (And take Beck with you).”

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September 19, 2008 | 4:24 pm

GodBlogCon, not to be confused with porn convention

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

GodBlogCon begins in Las Vegas tomorrow. The organizers selected the Las Vegas Convention Center, as opposed to the more-popular Sands Expo, which is owned by Sheldon Adelson and hosts the big annual porn convention. I know GodBlogCon is connected to Blog World Expo, but I wonder if the selection of the less popular convention center was more than coincidental.

Then again, the venue is still in Sin City, so I’m sure they weren’t that concerned.

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September 19, 2008 | 6:15 am

Conservative Episcopal bishop gets the boot

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Tim Morgan’s suspicions yesterday morning were well founded. The Episcopal House of Bishops acted to can Robert Duncan, the conservative bishop of the Pittsburgh Diocese and a leading voice for the dissenting faction in the U.S. arm of the Anglican Communion.

The Associated Press reports:

An Episcopal bishop, whose diocese is moving toward splitting from the national church, was ousted from ministry. The House of Bishops voted 88 to 35 to remove the bishop, Robert W. Duncan of Pittsburgh, on a charge of “abandonment of the communion of this church.” Bishop Duncan, who led the Pittsburgh diocese for 11 years, is a leader in a national network of theological conservatives who are breaking away from the liberal denomination in a dispute over Scripture. The debate erupted in 2003, when Episcopalians consecrated the first openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire. The Pittsburgh diocese said it would move ahead with the Oct. 4 secession vote.

Duncan’s response to his hometown paper is after the jump:

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September 18, 2008 | 8:21 pm

Republican Jews behind negative Obama poll *

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Remember the Republican Jewish Coalition? (Yes, they really exist.) They’ve been pushing real hard for their guy, John McCain, and working against his rival, Barack Obama.

This much is, obviously, to be expected. But Ben Smith at Politico reports that the RJC was also behind a poll that asked Jewish voters their feelings about anti-Obama semi-truths.

Matt Brooks, RJC’s executive director, told Smith that the poll was administered to “understand why Barack Obama continues to have a problem among Jewish voters.”

A large chunk of Smith’s story is after the jump:

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September 18, 2008 | 3:33 pm

Israel converts Ahmadinejad

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Not exactly. But considering his history of diatribes against Israel and the Jewish people, you’ve got to wonder: Who got to Mahmoud?

TEHRAN — The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, took the unusual step on Thursday of publicly defending a high official accused by legislators and senior clerics of saying that Iran was a friend of the Israeli people.

Nonetheless, Mr. Ahmadinejad repeated his opposition to Israel, saying that while “some say the idea of a Greater Israel has expired, I say the idea of a lesser Israel has expired, too.” He also called the Holocaust a “fake” and accused Israel of perpetrating a holocaust on the Palestinian people, The Associated Press said.

In mid July, the vice president for tourism, Esfandiar Rahim Mashai, was quoted as saying Iran was “a friend of the Israeli people.” He repeated the comment in August saying there was “no hostility toward the Israeli people.”

The rejection of Israel is a founding principle of Iran’s Islamic revolution so that any suggestion of recognition of Israel is heretical, and Mr. Mashai’s remarks drew protests from some 200 legislators and from some senior clerics. But, despite their calls for his ouster, Mr. Mashai was not dismissed or disciplined.

On Thursday, Mr. Ahmadinejad, whose son is married to a daughter of Mr. Mashai, came to his defense, saying that Mr. Mashai “has served the people and the government for 30 years.”

“He has never used the term ‘Israeli people’ and never will.” he said.

Instead, Mr. Ahmadinejad insisted that “what Mr. Mashai said is the message of the government,” representing that as Iran wanting to help people who had been “tricked” by the authorities into living in Israel.

“Our nation has no problem with other nations, but as far the Zionist regime is concerned, we do not believe in an Israeli government or an Israeli nation,” he said.

Oh. Nevermind.

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September 18, 2008 | 1:55 pm

Gay shul’s blessing for anonymous sex *

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

Oh my. JTA has a shocking feature about a new blessing a gay synagogue in San Francisco has developed for anonymous sex:

Among the most innovative—and controversial—aspects of the siddur soon to be released by San Francisco’s main gay synagogue is a prayer for “unexpected intimacy.”

The new prayer is meant to be recited after engaging in anonymous sex, though those involved in the project say it could also be said for other meaningful encounters with strangers.

It is featured in the forthcoming siddur created by Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, a 31-year-old synagogue in San Francisco affiliated with the Reform movement.

“In the dark, in a strange place, our father Jacob encountered a stranger with whom he grappled all night,” the prayer begins, referring to the biblical story of Jacob wrestling with the angel. “He never knew the stranger’s name, yet their encounter was a blessing, which turned Jacob into Israel and made him realize, I have seen God face-to-face.”

The prayer, titled “Kavannah for Unexpected Intimacy,” goes on to ask God—“who created passion and wove it throughout creation”—to permit the encounter to be a blessing “that allows us to both touch and see the Divine.”

Proponents of the siddur see the prayer—included in a section of innovative blessings meant to enhance life-cycle moments—as an effort to elevate a practice that, in some quarters, is viewed as integral to gay culture. But even among Jewish leaders that the gay community regards as allies, the prayer is seen as crossing a line, sanctifying an activity that Judaism reviles.

That is the most outrageous reading I’ve ever heard of Jacob and the stranger. So that’s why they “wrestled” all night. Right ...

Casting unquestioning acceptance aside—but not reaching for stones—this is a bastardization of Israel’s story and a poor attempt to get God’s approval for visiting bathhouses. Rabbi Elliot Dorff, a sage among American Jewish thinkers and a co-author of an opinion permitting same-sex marriage and the ordination of gay rabbis in the Conservative movement, doesn’t mince words:

“A one-night stand is officially an act of prostitution in the Jewish tradition,” Dorff told JTA’s Ben Harris. “It’s not just that it’s not ideal, it’s that it really is seen as being something that a Jew ought not to engage in.”

*Updated: I just spoke with the shul’s Rabbi Camille Angel, who is upset with Harris’ article. She wouldn’t provide details but said, “We are in conversations with JTA about retracting the story based on both inaccuracies and the harmful representation that the story is generating.”

I’ll give you more as I get it.

(Hat tip: Jeffrey Weiss at the DMN religion blog)

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September 18, 2008 | 12:25 pm

New York Jews favor McCain over Obama

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

A Siena poll found some quite surprising results when it surveyed 626 likely voters this month and asked if they planned to vote for John McCain or Barack Obama:

McCain leads Obama ... wait for it ... by 22 percentage points—54 to 32.

After the jump, J-Pod can’t contain his excitement:

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September 18, 2008 | 12:02 am

Jack Abramoff: Sinner wants to be a saint

Posted by Brad A. Greenberg

BoingBoing boosted traffic here Friday by linking to an old post I wrote about Jack Abramoff the high school bully. We now know Abramoff as the poster boy of lobbyist corruption and as the bodybuilding Orthodox Jew who will be lifting weights in a prison yard for the next four years.

He previously told The Jewish Journal that he wasn’t surprised when God called him to account for his sins:

“I had lost a sense of proportion and judgment. God sent me 1,000 hints that He didn’t want me to keep doing what I was doing. But I didn’t listen, so He set off a nuclear bomb.”

Now Abramoff claims he’s making t’shuvah, and just in time for Yom Kippur, on which returning to God is central, and his prison sentencing. The Forward reports:

Portraying himself as a broken man, and depicted by friends as having undergone a complete transformation, Abramoff appealed for leniency at his sentencing earlier this month. “I’m not the same man who happily and arrogantly engaged in a lifestyle of political and business corruption,” he told Judge Ellen Segal Huvelle, who ignored the plea and sent him to prison for four more years — a harsher sentence than even that requested by the prosecution.

The sincerity of Abramoff’s remorse is hard to assess. Friends who have visited him in the Cumberland, Md., federal prison describe a man seeking humility, a man who believes he was punished by God for his wrongdoings. Critics view Abramoff’s makeover as yet another sophisticated maneuver from a man who has mastered political tactics and is now out to shorten his jail term.

Abramoff, 49, has been working in the chapel at Cumberland’s Federal Correctional Institution, where he began serving a sentence in November 2006. “I think it is his religion that helped him remain sane,” said Gary Chafetz, author of a new book on Abramoff.

While writing “The Perfect Villain: John McCain and the Demonization of Lobbyist Jack Abramoff,” Chafetz met with Abramoff in prison more than a dozen times. The meetings led the author and his subject to two different perspectives of the case: Chafetz sees it as a disingenuous attempt by the government, political rivals and some in the media to frame Abramoff, who was merely playing the Washington lobbying game; Abramoff, while cooperating with the author, describes himself as a person seeking to mend his ways and not blame others for his plight.

Despite what this photo may suggest about Abramoff’s killer fashion sense, I don’t think he’s going black hat on us.

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