Advertisement
Advertisements
October 19, 2007 | 9:52 am
I often used to wonder what I’d go to hell for. Not giving my money to the starving and homeless? Eating animals? Dumping girlfriends? Being a journalist? Then I checked out the Bible and realized how capricious God is: He’s down with slavery, slaughtering children during war and turning people to salt for pitying gays who are being burned alive. I gave up riddling out what ticks off the Almighty.
That’s Joel Stein being a little snarky about the vengeful God of the Tanakh. Based on past columns, of which I am a fan, I’d say God has plenty of reasons to chose from. But we know God is also forgiving, even if Stein doesn’t live biblically like A.J. Jacobs, whom he was dining with for this column.
The Bible, it turns out, is much like other long books, in that reading it apparently turns you into a huge dork.
I sinned by using a credit card (taking on debts, per Romans 13:8), not giving thanks after—not before—my meal (Deuteronomy 8:10), telling the waitress that “I’ll have the burger” without adding “God willing” (James 4:13-15) and “cursing the ruler of thy people,” George Bush (Exodus 22:28). The Republicans should focus more on that Scripture instead of putting so much emphasis on Leviticus and sodomy.
But Jacobs was only truly appalled when I told the waitress that yes, thank you, I enjoyed the burger. “That was terrible!” Jacobs yelled. “That was a flat-out, bald-faced, dishonest fib. Proverbs say that people appreciate frankness more than flattery.” He wouldn’t let it go, mimicking me with a very squeaky, high-pitched tone that I’m sure Leviticus has something to say about. “‘The burger’s good! Oh, it’s dee-licious!’”
At the end of the meal, I asked Jacobs what I was going to go to hell for. “It’s your evil tongue,” he said. I had apparently “slandered” (Leviticus 19:16) the guy who created the 43 Folders organization system by calling him “crazy” even though I know nothing about him, and I made fun of Miss Teen South America. Plus, even though he didn’t know it, I was scribbling notes about Jacobs’ irritating moral superiority.
Posted by Brad A. Greenberg in 0 Comments — Leave your comment
Share this post:
del.icio.us
Digg
Facebook
Google Bookmarks
Reddit
StumbleUpon
Technorati
YahooMyWeb
We welcome your feedback.
Your information will not be shared or sold without your consent. Get all the details.
academia america american jews anti-semitism atheism barack obama books capitalism catholicism christianity crime death education entertainment europe evangelicals god holidays holocaust iran iraq islam israel jesus jihad john mccain judaism los angeles media middle east mormonism personal politics president bush president 08 science sexuality sports the law war
Advertisement
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
Advertisements
It is not a secret that many beachfront homeowners in Malibu have a disproportionate sense of ownership of the surf and turf that fronts their properties. They pay millions for the illusion that they own the beach. It's also not a secret that they don't.
Diet books don't often include approbations from rabbis, but they're appropriate for "The Life-Transforming Diet," a structured eating plan based on the writings of physician and Torah scholar Maimonides.
Sderot's residents expressed optimism about the latest of a series of high-profile visitors to the town, the man who one day may be U.S. president, Barack Obama
But the surveys had bad news for Obama: If the U.S. presidential election were held today, American Jews would support the Illinois senator at a significantly lower level than they did his most recent Democratic predecessors.
If you want to really annoy Adeena Bleich, just ask her what it feels like to be a young Orthodox woman running for City Council. I know, because when we sat
down recently for lunch at Shiloh's, the first thing I asked her is what it felt like to be a young Orthodox woman
Ehud Olmert pledged to solve an Israeli conversion crisis prompted by a rabbinical dispute
"I wish I had 10 percent of the success with the Israeli government as I have with private donors," sighed Moshe Kaveh, the president of Bar-Ilan University.
Jewish groups have taken lead roles in drawing attention to China's policies and specifically sought to spotlight the country's record in advance of this summer's Olympic Games in Beijing. Yet it appears as if China will suffer no significant international sanction when the
Parshat Matot (Numbers 30:2-32:42). But the question remains: What justification did Moses have that allowed him to denounce them so fiercely? How could he compare them to the scouts?
The Bush/Cheney doctrine, of course, was never about being loved. Instead, they said they wanted America to be respected, which turned out to be code for being feared.
Serving a community of 600,000, The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angles is the largest Jewish weekly outside New York City. Our award-winning paper reaches over 150,000 educated, involved and affluent readers each week. Subscribe here.
© Copyright 2008 The Jewish Journal and JewishJournal.com
All rights reserved. JewishJournal.com is hosted by Nexcess.net
