Jewish Journal

My oh Miley

Chris Stuke

December 20, 2013 | 10:31 am

Credit: Debby Wong / Shutterstock.com

MTV recently announced that it’s Artist of the Year was none other than the country’s white trash darling, Miley Ray Cyrus. The Purveyors of Cultural Genocide said that the former Hannah Montana star and current poster girl for Ursusagalmatophilia was the most searched subject on its website as well as most talked about performer at their 2013 VMA’s.

This should come as no surprise to anyone, because MTV’s core audience are Millenianals, and Millenianals spend their free time searching the MTV website for low-brow entertainment like Miley Cyrus. It’s a vicious tilt-a whirl of idiocy.

The Justin-Bieber-in-drag, Miley, has spent the past year re-inventing herself from former Disney star to Dodo-bird impersonator. Along the way she’s tried everything she can to “stand out” which in turn just makes her look like someone attempting to “stand out” such as Lady GaGa. I’m sure that news of this prestigious award going to Cyrus totally upset GaGa and we can only hope for a western-style ending to this competition where both artists of mediocrity shoot at one another--water guns, of course.

I’ve never listened to Miley mainly because Miley’s “success” isn’t about her music; it’s about her marketing of a silly white girl who wants to be noticed so badly that it’s annoying. I couldn’t tell you if her music was good or bad.

What I can tell you is that I did once try to read an interview with her in Rolling Stone, and after the first page, my IQ points had dropped to that of your average kitchen utensil. So in that regard, yes, Miley had an impact on me, she made me stupid just like her fans. And one should never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. They end up being the reason people like Miley are popular.

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