Jewish Journal

From Indemnity & Beyond…

by Chris Stuke

March 10, 2014 | 10:09 am

Photo credit: Debby Wong / Shutterstock.com

Everyone’s least favorite second place sore losers the Winklevoss Twins have decided that they should go boldly were no man has gone before. Make that no man who doesn’t have at least a net worth of 120 million. The Twins announced on March 4th that their self-entitlement shouldn’t be restricted by such meager things as gravity and they’re not only worthy, but deserving of being the first frat-boys to soar through outer space via Richard Bronson’s Virgin Galactic.

The Twins, Tyler & Cameron, plan on financing their inter-galactic joy ride by way of the Bitcoin Trust they’ve recently established. For those of you still living in 2013, Bitcoin is a virtual currency whose market value fluctuates more than a woman’s body temperature during menopause. Its versatility and susceptibility to huge gains in capital came to light as a result of the Silkroad scandal.

The Winklevoss’s gave a long and bloated press release on how this move of investing their Bitcoin Trust into Richard Bronson’s Galactic Voyages was on par with such spirits as discovery & fearlessness found in the likes of Marco Polo & Christopher Columbus. But really when it comes down to it, it’s just two Frat Boys that wanna take a ride in a rocket ship so they can brag about it to dumb girls impressed by money and too much hair product.

If you remember, the Twins were made famous by being the over-privileged cry babies who alleged that Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea of Facebook from them (in reality they commissioned The Zuckerberg to build a social network site exclusive to Harvard students, mainly the female ones so they could bang them) so they sued him. Why? It’s what rich kids do when they don’t get their way because they aren’t  intelligent enough to think about the big picture for themselves.

I think if Tyler & Cameron are truly serious about being space explorers then their intentions would be better served by signing up for the expedition that’s taking a few courageous trailblazers (see also: idiots) on a one way trip to Mars in hopes of colonizing the red planet. I’m sure once they’re established there they can be the very first people to invent a social networking site on an inter-galactic scale, which they can aptly name: Spacebook.  


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