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November 30, 2007 | 12:50 pm
A tasteless encounter with Porky the pig
Posted by Danielle Berrin
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I’m mad, mad, mad! at Ralph’s. If I was unkind, I’d call the big supermarket with the friendly name devious. I’d picket. I’d demand an end to the deception!
Yesterday as I was innocently perusing the salad bar at Ralph’s on Western Avenue near the corner of Wilshire, I decided on a salad for lunch. As I’ve done many times before, I picked up a pair of tongs and piled heaps of greens into my bowl, then hearts of palm, artichokes and kidney beans, tuna (no mayo) and popped the top on, headed for the dressing.
Most of their salad dressings are creamy and there’s no vinaigrette, so I selected Italian. I filled a small container with the herbs and oil and walked back to work. When I could ignore the hunger pangs no more, I opened my salad and got ready to pour….then suddenly stopped.
There was something unseemly about this Italian dressing.
I’ve had it before but it looked different: there was something tiny, pinkish and foreign floating about in the swirl of ingredients. Is it minced garlic? Finely-chopped olives? Are those traditional ingredients in Italian dressing? It can’t be olives. Olives are green, black, maybe brown—but these little monsters are porky-colored! Could this newly kosher gal be one pour away from a salad full of BACON BITS!?
I’ll never really know. I’ve never had bacon before, so I don’t know what it tastes like. Even when I wasn’t kosher, I never ate meat so bacon is as nightmarish to me as any trayf. I just can’t understand why the culinary world insists that pork is the new filet mignon. I can barely set foot in an Italian restaurant anymore without the muddied, snorting animal showing up thinly-sliced in salad or ground into fancy meatballs with pasta or finding pig droplets on gourmet pizza. And now, the one place I thought I was safe - at the vegetarian salad bar - appears to have been taken over by teeny, tiny, icky pieces of the flat-nosed, dirty, trayfy pork animal!
Ralph’s, it’s just fine that you don’t sell kosher meat but sneaking mystery stuff in the dressing? Blasphemy!
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Even when I wasn’t kosher,
Is it just me or shouldn’t the distinction be when you kept Kosher versus when you were not keeping Kosher.
not to be nit picky, but a “vegetarian” salad bar, as you called it, would not have tuna…that might have been your first tip off…
and secondarily, a lot of people use non-bacon bacon bits…the dressing probably mentioned something…don’t make it out to be a flaw of Ralph’s, calling them sneaky and so forth, just because you didn’t double check. As far as it seems, they never claimed to not have bacon bits in their dressing in the first place, so therefore it is not some trickery on their part.
I remember taking a Wetzel’s Pretzel sample, only to find myself biting into a pretzel covered in pepperoni. I gagged and nearly threw up!
And, I agree with Anonymous #2. Tuna isn’t really vegetarian. It’s as cruel as meat and just as unhealthy.
See you at the next Friday Night Live or JCafe thingie!
Seriously. Pig bits are hiding everywhere! Be it outright meaty bits, or gelatin, or lard. I wanted some snacks, went to a vending machine, bought some hostess “donuts.” I figured, “donuts” right, sugar, flour, oil, preservatives, like sufganiya. I put in my money, watched the plastic wrapped bundle drop, then reached into the machine for my snack. Before ripping it open to eat it, I felt a bit dirty for choosing that kind of crap instead of something more wholesome, like trail mix, so to further torture myself I flipped it over to read the nutrition facts. Bad idea. I saw how bad they were for me so I decided to read the ingredient list to figure out what exactly was making this less food and more poison. The usual shows up, sugar, flour, blah blah blah…and then shortening, vegetable and/or animal. LARD! LARD in my donuts!? The world has gone mad. Who puts lard in pastries!? Oh and never get those microwave burritos from those wheel of death vending machines. I thought bean and cheese, that’s safe…no. It too was tainted with LARD! Yeah…flour tortillas and re-fried beans, they’re made with lard, unless you have some that are kosher or vegetarian. Ugh, and gelatin, that’s everywhere too. At least I made some happy random strangers that day with some free snacks.
kosher is almost extinct, its a shame life is so difficult for some people nowadays. Finding our ways through the maze has become an art now, it’s even difficult to buy a normal shirt or watch an informative program on tv!
I have been hunting the Scaredy Cat, Porky Pig cartoon for a while now..I would appreciate if anyone can tell me which volume of Looney Tunes golden collection has it on it so I can just buy THAT one.I thought bean and cheese, that’s safe…no. It too was tainted with LARD! Yeah…flour tortillas and re-fried beans, they’re made with lard, unless you have some that are kosher or vegetarian. Ugh, and gelatin, that’s everywhere too.
Wedding Gown
Well, this has really entertained me. I really enjoyed reading this article.
This is a very informative post, I had a good tome reading this article.