The Calendar Girls

November 30, 2007 | 8:50 am

A tasteless encounter with Porky the pig

I’m mad, mad, mad! at Ralph’s. If I was unkind, I’d call the big supermarket with the friendly name devious. I’d picket. I’d demand an end to the deception!

Yesterday as I was innocently perusing the salad bar at Ralph’s on Western Avenue near the corner of Wilshire, I decided on a salad for lunch. As I’ve done many times before, I picked up a pair of tongs and piled heaps of greens into my bowl, then hearts of palm, artichokes and kidney beans, tuna (no mayo) and popped the top on, headed for the dressing.

Most of their salad dressings are creamy and there’s no vinaigrette, so I selected Italian. I filled a small container with the herbs and oil and walked back to work. When I could ignore the hunger pangs no more, I opened my salad and got ready to pour….then suddenly stopped.

There was something unseemly about this Italian dressing.

I’ve had it before but it looked different: there was something tiny, pinkish and foreign floating about in the swirl of ingredients. Is it minced garlic? Finely-chopped olives? Are those traditional ingredients in Italian dressing? It can’t be olives. Olives are green, black, maybe brown—but these little monsters are porky-colored! Could this newly kosher gal be one pour away from a salad full of BACON BITS!?

I’ll never really know. I’ve never had bacon before, so I don’t know what it tastes like. Even when I wasn’t kosher, I never ate meat so bacon is as nightmarish to me as any trayf. I just can’t understand why the culinary world insists that pork is the new filet mignon. I can barely set foot in an Italian restaurant anymore without the muddied, snorting animal showing up thinly-sliced in salad or ground into fancy meatballs with pasta or finding pig droplets on gourmet pizza. And now, the one place I thought I was safe - at the vegetarian salad bar - appears to have been taken over by teeny, tiny, icky pieces of the flat-nosed, dirty, trayfy pork animal!

Ralph’s, it’s just fine that you don’t sell kosher meat but sneaking mystery stuff in the dressing? Blasphemy!

Posted by Danielle Berrin in 3 CommentsLeave your comment

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November 29, 2007 | 10:47 am

The Jewish Service Heard Round the World

I received an email today from the American Jewish Committee announcing the launch of their YouTube network about a month ago. Ok, so everyone has their own YouTube channel already - that’s not ground-breaking news. But, I did think the email was blogworthy because of one particularly moving video they highlighted, “Live From Germany: The Jewish Service Heard Round the World.“

Produced by NBC with the cooperation of the AJC, this video is about a historical Jewish service held on German soil on October 26, 1944 led by Rabbi Sidney Lefkowitz, an army chaplain. The touching religious ceremony was broadcast on the radio for the world to hear, declaring that Hitler and the Nazi regime did not succeed in their goal of wiping out the Jewish spirit. Here is that video:

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November 27, 2007 | 11:12 am

Another round of surveys

The second installment of JCafeLA on Sunday, Nov. 18 at Aqua Lounge in Beverly Hills featured the well-received Jewish Family Feud ice-breaker game - pink and blue cards, Jewish dating questions and little golf pencils - the perfect recipe for mingling!

Here are the results, statistically at least, of the game (if anyone got a number or even better - a date - from playing the game, we would love to know your story! Seriously):

WOMEN’S QUESTION #1

How long before you can tell whether or not you feel compatibility with a man?

A.  Within 5 minutes of talking to him 41%

B.  1 date     24%

C. 2 dates     13%

D. At least 3-4 dates over the course of 1 month   15%

E. You can never tell—that’s why divorce rates are so high!  7%

MEN’S QUESTION #1

How long before you can tell whether or not you feel compatibility with a woman?

A.  Within 5 minutes of talking to her         35%

B.  1 date     22%   
 
C. 2 dates     13%             

D. At least 3-4 dates over the course of 1 month   15%

E. You can never tell—that’s why divorce rates are so high!  15%

WOMEN’S QUESTION #2

“The Friend Zone:” how do you feel about being “friends” with a guy before dating him?

A. Strongly in favor. Being friends is the best way to get to know the “real” person, puts people at ease & friendship is the most important part of a marital relationship               25%

B. Strongly against. Romance and friendship should be totally separate, I have enough friends         9%

C. Friendship complicates things too much. Getting stuck in the “friend zone” is real             19%

D. It doesn’t bother me: getting stuck in the friend zone is a myth     47%

MEN’S QUESTION #2

“The Friend Zone:” how do you feel about being “friends” with a girl before dating her?

A. Strongly in favor. Being friends is the best way to get to know the “real” person, puts people at ease & friendship is the most important part of a marital relationship   36%

B.Strongly against. Romance and friendship should be totally separate, I have enough friends       8%

C. Friendship complicates things too much. Getting stuck in the “friend zone” is real                   27%

D. It doesn’t bother me: getting stuck in the friend zone is a myth       29%

WOMEN’S QUESTION #3

Have you ever been out on a date and started flirting with another guy?

A. Yes, but only if I felt he wasn’t paying me enough attention 17%

B. Perhaps subconsciously to appear more desirable     19%

C. As an experiment to see if he would react   7%

D. Never   57%  

MEN’S QUESTION #3

If you were out on a date with a woman and she flirted with another guy, would you tend to…

A. Think it’s cute & amusing                       8%

B. Subconsciously find her more desirable         17%

C. Start flirting with other girls         25%

D. Think she’s rude and never see her again       50% 

WOMEN’S QUESTION #4

In searching for a husband, the character/personality traits most important to me are…

A.  Intelligence, business skills, sophistication 35%

B.  Nurturing, parenting & domestic skills     10%

C. Good friendship basis, common interests   51%

D. Spirituality, dedication to self improvement   4%

MEN’S QUESTION #4

In searching for a husband, the character/personality traits most important to me are…

A.  Intelligence, business skills, sophistication   21%

B.  Nurturing, parenting & domestic skills     16%

C. Good basis for friendship, common interests   49%

D. Spirituality, dedication to self improvement   14%

A video and more details of the event coming soon…

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November 21, 2007 | 9:05 am

Happy Thanksgiving!

Warm wishes for a delicious holiday filled with family, friends and gratitude.

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November 20, 2007 | 5:20 pm

AFI fest: A bell, a wedding, a balloon

Good film is the kind that gets under your skin and stays there: the avant-garde, the experimental, the exploitation, genre-driven, character rich cinema that wets the screen and drips with art.

These days it’s getting harder to find. But film festivals are fast becoming the best bet in showcasing modern moviemaking and AFI Fest 2007 was no exception. The special showcases and world cinema programs brimmed with refreshing film - stories you haven’t heard, shot with style and flair.

Although you may have heard of The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, the bestselling memoirs of Jean-Dominique Bauby, the once editor of French ELLE magazine. After a stroke left him completely physically paralyzed, he learned to communicate by blinking his left eye. Having retained all normal brain function, he lived a rich interior life but suffered the iniquity of being unable to express himself. Without moving his head, he sees the world from a distorted, crooked vantage point, made visceral for the audience by cinematographer Janusz Kaminski’s astonishing photography. For much of the film, his lens functions as Bauby’s eye, forcing the audience to enter the psychological space of paralysis. Filmmaker Julian Schnabel crafted a harrowing portrait of Bauby’s final days, flashing back to the glamour of his former self - rich, handsome, loved - and then back to silently watching the world, without being able to live in it.

The complex and uncomfortable world inhabited by feuding siblings in Margot at the Wedding is a darkly humorous commentary on sisters, their slightly deranged children and their quirky lovers. The film is both funny and bleak, disturbing and honest, revealing a world where the line between love and hate is unbearably tenuous. Anyone with a sister knows the potential each possesses for inflicting psychological trauma upon the other and here, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Nicole Kidman unleash verbal horror on one another, using their kids as punching bags. The actresses also shared tender moments but those rare glimpses into human compassion were too far and few between to generate any real empathy for these characters. Nicole Kidman’s conniving makes her character in To Die For seem cartoonish. The script deserves credit for serving up dialogue so full of vituperation and Jack Black gets kudos for turning in an incredibly neurotic performance. The film succeeded in disturbing me enough to want to walk out of the theater but not enough to give it an afterthought.

One of my favorite filmmakers, Taiwanese Hou Hsiao-Hsien’s update of the 1956 masterpiece “Le Ballon rouge”—The Red Balloon, is an exquisite, soulful film. Beautifully choreographed between contemplative images of a traveling balloon and intimate, enigmatic portraits of a family, the film reveals contemporary life in Paris. Like the balloon, the characters in the film (including the lovely Juliette Binoche) wander about the city, sometimes searching, but mostly aimlessly enjoying the quotidian routine of middle-class living. With a simple plot, this film calls on the imagination to surrender to the imagery and the intimacy of cinematic poetry.

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November 19, 2007 | 1:05 pm

Worlds apart at the AFI film fest

Though the frenzied AFI Film Festival ended more than a week ago (Nov.11), I still find myself pondering the two film screenings I attended. The films (and screenings) could not have been more radically different:

“Look” is a film by Adam Rifkin, a seasoned writer-producer-director-actor with an eclectic filmography that includes “Homo Erectus,“ “Detroit Rock City,“ and “Welcome to Hollywood.“

“The Quest for the Missing Piece” is Israeli Oded Lotan’s first stab at filmmaking.

Attendees started lining up to see the sold-out Thursday night screening of “Look” an hour and a half before the scheduled 9:30 p.m. showtime.

Roughly a dozen viewers strolled into the theater for the Friday afternoon screening of “The Quest.“

“Look” is a polished, dark drama composed of various intertwining stories told through a clever gimmick - all the scenes are shot from the point of view of public surveillance cameras -  that raises questions about a modern technological phenomenon.

“The Quest” is a quirky low budget autobiographical tale peppered with illustrations of key moments that raises questions about an ancient Jewish tradition - circumcision.

“Look”: zero Jewish content.

“The Quest”: all Jewish content.

“Look” will be out in theaters in December.

You may never have a chance to view “The Quest for the Missing Piece.“

The one thing these dissimilar cinematic creations shared was an ability to invade my thoughts long after the popcorn was swept from the Arclight’s aisles. The sordid behavior “caught” on tape in “Look,“ the knowledge that the average American is viewed 200 times a day on public cameras, Oded’s sorrowful inability to find his place in society as a gay Jew in Israel, the small but growing movement of Israelis who refuse to circumcise their sons…it all left me with an unsettling feeling that I still cannot articulate clearly.

I commend AFI for their widely diverse film choices, many of which I did not have a chance to see, and very much look forward to being unsettled again next year.

www.afi.com

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November 16, 2007 | 10:41 am

Getting inside Idan Raichel

He’s hard to penetrate. He could be sitting three inches in front of you: you ask your journalistic questions—what impact do you hope your music has? how does it feel to represent Israel?—and he gives you his practiced routine answer, flipping his thick, black dreadlocks from one shoulder to another, and he leans in closer for effect, and you find yourself breathing deeper, but he’s done this before, a thousand times, and he knows he’ll let you learn about him without really letting you in…

More on my day backstage with Idan Raichel coming soon…

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November 14, 2007 | 12:00 pm

Written by a writer on strike!

A clever parody on the strike that’s taken over town reached my inbox earlier today. Starring Avi Rothman and Seth Menachem, director Oren Kaplan gives us a glimpse of what’s going on in coffee shops around the city with “WGA Strike Gets Violent”...

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