September 28, 2007 | 3:33 pm

Shabbat without Moses

Posted by Danielle Berrin

And the Lord said to Moses, “This is the Land I swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, saying, ‘I will give it to your offspring.’ I have let you see it with your eyes, but you shall not cross over there…

And Moses the servant of G-d died there in the Land of Moab by the mouth of G-d… and no man knows his burial place to this day…

There arose not a prophet since in Israel like Moses, whom G-d knew face to face.

-V’zot HaBerachah

September 26, 2007 | 5:05 pm

Hut happenings

Posted by Danielle Berrin

Repenting is finally over - let the rejoicing begin!

If you think you’re tired from 10 days of spelling out your sins, imagine how the children of Israel felt wandering through the wilderness for 40 years! All that walking in the hot, hot desert and not a drop of rain to boot? (Had biblical scribes been to Los Angeles?) Without shelter, the Jewish people built Sukkahs in which to wine and dine away the drudgery of wandering. Today, we commemorate their journey by building our own Sukkahs where we eat festive meals under a starry sky. In the Sukkah, ordinary acts become holy and in that sacred space, we are connected to four thousand years of history.

If you have a backyard, you can build your own but if space is scarce and you still want to celebrate, here are some creative ways to satisfy your soul:

The Sumptuous Sukkah
Wednesday, Sept. 26

1200 square feet of hanging fruits, ripe red apples and flowing honey - that’s what you’ll find in LA’s largest Sukkah. There will be honeycake and sweet wine, fresh fruit and lots of fun. 7:00 - 10:00 p.m. Free. The Chai Center, 115 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles. (310) 391-7995 www.chaicenter.org

A Smokin’ Sukkah
Sunday, Sept. 30

The young and hip will be draped in white, steaming with the smoky fog of hookah in the sukkah at this sexy middle-eastern experience. 7 p.m. $20, ladies are 2-for-1 until 9 p.m.
Simcha Hall at Nessah Synagogue, 142 South Rexford Drive,
Beverly Hills. www.nessah.org

The Sukkah of Shalom
Sunday, Sept. 30

A festive and fun Sukkot Carnival for the whole family. Fresh grilled bbq, waterslides, carnival games and a special treat for summer camp alum - singing with Robbo! 1-5 p.m. $10.
Camp JCA Shalom, 34342 Mulholland Highway, Malibu. (818) 889-5500. www.campjcashalom.com

The Shabbat Sukkah
Friday, Sept. 28

YABA-daba-doo! Celebrate Sukkot with Young Adults of Beth Am who will host Shabbat dinner in the Sukkah preceded by a warm holiday service at Neshama Minyan. 5.45 p.m. (service), 7 p.m. (dinner). $10. Temple Beth Am, 1039 South La Cienega Boulevard, Los Angeles. (310) 652-7354 x 230. RSVP to yaba@tbala.org

The Sukkah with a Social Conscience
Saturday, Sept. 29

At this intercultural/interfaith festival, two traditions will celebrate common ground. A group from the Islamic Center of Southern California and MPAC-PJA NewGround Project will join IKAR’s Jewish community to celebrate the unique calendar moment when the Jewish month of Tishrei coincides with the Muslim month of Ramadan, a period in which Muslims fast during daylight hours. As part of IKAR’s “Religion in the City” program, this one-of-a-kind event combines Sukkot, the traditional iftar (in Islam, the evening meal breaking the daily fast), a Shabbat seudat shlishit, the Maghrib prayer (recited at sunset), and Havdalah — all in the sukkah! 6:30 p.m. Westside JCC, 5870 W. Olympic Boulevard, Los Angeles. (323) 634-1870. www.ikar-la.org

The Sukkah for Social Justice
Sunday, Sept. 30

Spread your picnic blankets over the lawn for an evening of stimulating discussion with scholars and activists on the theme of housing and homelessness. Afterwards, there will be eating, drinking, singing and children’s activities. 3-5 p.m. Progressive Jewish Alliance. Roxbury Park, 471 S. Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills. R.S.V.P. to office@pjalliance.org or call (323) 761-8350

The Secular Sukkah
Sunday, Sept. 30

Celebrate the harvest by helping to build the sukkah. Bring harvest snacks like fruits and nuts to hang from the sukkah and to share with the community. All are welcome. 12-1 p.m. Sholem Community, Culver City Middle School, 4601 Elenda Street, Culver City. (818) 760-6625. www.sholem.org

The Schicker’s Sukkah
Monday, Oct. 1

Where can you find beer, Monday Night Football and a sukkah all in the same place? At ATID’s Sukkot Sports Bar. One of the more interesting ways to fulfill the mitzvah of dining in the Sukkah is this modern spin on tradition for the young professional set.
7 p.m. $10 (members) $15-$20 (nonmembers). Sinai Temple, 10400 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 481-3244.

Chag Sameach!

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September 25, 2007 | 2:58 pm

Survey says…

Posted by Dikla Kadosh

...that if you want to succeed in the world of Jewish dating, stop yakking on your cell phone, wait a couple of days to ask a girl out, and ladies: don’t act interested if you’re not. Guys don’t appreciate it.

JCafeLA’s “Jewish Family Feud” game, where everyone had to ask four members of the opposite sex to answer survey questions about dating, was a fun little ice breaker that gave people a good excuse to approach whoever they’d been eyeing all night. Besides stimulating connections, the game also generated some interesting results. Here they are:

WOMEN’S QUESTION 1

What’s the Most Annoying Thing a Man Can Do On a First Date?

A.  Show up late                               24%

B. Continuously talk on his cell phone   38%

C. Continuously bring up his ex             27%

D. Not offer to pay for date                   11%

MEN’S QUESTION 1

What’s the Most Annoying Thing a Woman Can Do On a First Date?

A.  Show up late                                 8%

B. Continuously talk on her cell phone     56%

C. Continuously bring up her ex             23%

D. Order a lot of food & eat nothing         15%

WOMEN’S QUESTION 2

How long should a guy wait to ask you out after getting your number?

A.  1 Day                     40%

B.  2 Days                       42% 

C. 3 days-1 week             12%

D. No set time                   6%

MEN’S QUESTION 2

How long do you normally wait to ask a girl out after getting your number?

A.  1 Day                     32%

B.  2 Days                       36%

C. 3 days-1 week             14%

D. No set time                   18%

WOMEN’S QUESTION 3

Have you ever given a guy “mixed signals” that you’re not interested, even when you really are?

A.  Yes, intentionally                     17%

B.  Never                                 32%

C. Perhaps, unintentionally               48%

D. Won’t Admit women actually do this 3%

MEN’S QUESTION 3

What do you do when you receive “mixed signals” from a woman?

A.  Laugh                                     10%

B.  Consider it cute & stay interested         27%

C. Say “next” & move on                 40%

D. Respond with my own mixed signals       23%

(Thanks to Dan and Alycia Witzling and Jewish Big Brothers/Big Sisters for counting 4800 answers)

MORE JCafeLA…

Jay Firestone, Jewish Journal Editorial Assistant and videographer, documented the evening.

                 

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September 24, 2007 | 5:48 pm

Just the funny at JCafeLA

Posted by Danielle Berrin

‘Twas the night after Yom Kippur and hundreds of young Jews gathered for some flirty fun. It was the inaugural event of a new “club” for the romance-ravenous yuppies of Jewish LA. There was music and comedy and a microphone cacophony. There were men with bar tabs and women with beauty and brains. There was an eccentric host, an eclectic crowd and exuberant entertainment. It was an unusual evening, with the quintessential kinks that transform an ordinary Sunday night into something memorable. It was fun but it was also peculiar…

The Calendar Girls’ Top Ten Moments at JCafeLA:

10) The ear-splitting screech of the mike - interrupting nearly every performance. (DK)

9) Host Richard Rubin’s strip-tease-in-reverse entrance. (DK)

8) The Camp Talent Show From Chelm: with the majority of the crowd more interested in getting digits than digging the arts, disgruntled performers improvised irritation, chastised the “single” minded and interacted with interested folks encircling the stage. (DB)

7) Aaron Kemp announcing that the fire marshal would close the party down if some of the over capacity crowd didn’t shift to an adjacent room. No one moved. (DK)

6) Someone asking if The Calendar Girls Blog is “the one with swimsuit photos.” (DB)

5) Playing Jewish Family Feud, I walked up to a random guy and handed him the card with the survey question he would answer for me as part of the game. The question was, “What is the worst thing a girl could do on a first date?” He wrote his initials, DK, next to the answer he agreed with most - “talk about an ex.” When I saw his initials, I said, “We have the same initials!” He replied, “That’s funny. My ex had the same initials too.”(DK)

4) The not-so magical “mindreader.” Dikla volunteered the naked contents of her brain to the mysterious, mind-reading magician (a.k.a. Seth Grabel). She discovered she has a new favorite color (red), two of her sisters vanished completely, and suspects her randomly chosen word was selected from a trick novel. A skeptical spectator shouted, “It’s fixed, it’s fixed! The Calendar Girls are in on it!” (Rest assured dear readers, we comply with the highest standards of truth in reporting and ethical journalism.) (DB)

3) The Klezmer Keyboardist on Crack. His ebullient arpeggios were so wildly energetic, his yarmulke kept leaping off his head. (DB)

2) Smooth E aka Eric Schwartz venting about the supermodel-thin crowd lingering for the final act: “What am I doing up here? I’m supposed to be the big headliner and there’s four people left.” (DK)

1) One of the organizers walking around with a jar of peanuts and propositioning everyone for a “taste of [his] salty nuts.” (DB)

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September 21, 2007 | 1:08 pm

Counting chickens

Posted by Dikla Kadosh

I dreamt of chickens last night.

I couldn’t get the squawking, fluttering birds out of my head after my first experience with kapparot. The ancient tradition of swinging chickens over your head in a symbolic act of atonement the day before Yom Kippur is fraught with contradictions and controversy. Though practiced since the ninth century, several prominent Jewish sages throughout history have strongly opposed what they called a foolish and pagan ritual. Modern Jews have objected to the treatment of the live chickens and expressed concern about children who witness the slaughtering of the animals.

But I wasn’t contemplating all that last night as I stood in line in a dark parking lot on San Pedro Street on the outskirts of downtown Los Angeles. It was 1 a.m. and very cold. The powerful smell of fowl was nauseating. The birds’ anguished cries echoed through the parking lot as men, women and children clamped down on their wings and feet and circled them around their heads - one time, two times, three times.

“This is my exchange, my         substitute, my atonement; this rooster (or hen) shall go to its death,        but I shall go to a good, long life, and to peace,” they intoned three times. Then they handed the doomed chicken to a shochet, or slaughterer, to slit its throat in one quick motion. Tossed into upside down orange cones suspended above the ground, they jerked and spasmed for a few second until all the life had dripped out of them, along with their blood from the bottom of the cone.

My stomach was in a knot as we approached the front of the line. A man shoved a box towards me. I peered inside and saw a white, undersized hen sitting there quietly. I felt a small sting in my heart for the poor creature destined for death. “You’re freeing the soul trapped inside that chicken,” my boyfriend reassured me, referring to the Kabbalist notion of reincarnation.

I took a deep breath and gently lifted the chicken by its wings. Its warm, pulsating body startled me and I whispered, “I don’t think I can do this.” An instructor from the Kabbalah Center stood beside me. “Yes, you can. You’ll be fine,” she said reassuringly. I swung the bird over my head, repeated the prayer quickly and handed my little bird over to a young shochet-in-training.

I tossed ashes on the pool of blood beneath the cone where my hen was dumped and that’s it. It was done.

I haven’t yet processed how I feel about this experience, but a few words come to mind: strange, primitive, cultish and scary.

I sincerely hope that whatever misfortunes were scheduled to occur in my life this year were transfered to that bird and the sins I committed were eradicated with its passing.

I also hope that tonight as I lay in bed, hungry and thirsty, there won’t be chickens flapping in front of my mind’s eye.

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September 20, 2007 | 6:22 pm

(Kosher) sex and (kosher) sushi

Posted by Danielle Berrin

Random sex with a near stranger? Not kosher. Sex as a purely physical interaction? Not kosher. Intimate, meaningful sex between a husband and wife? Kosher!

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September 20, 2007 | 9:15 am

Days of awfully strange

Posted by Danielle Berrin

Jews are in the news this week.  The world knows it’s a BIG week for members of the tribe, but they may not know the period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is called “Yamim Noraim,” the Days of Awe. Of course that’s supposed to translate to 10 days of repentance and reflection, but we live in a secular world. Nowadays, high holiday sentimentality equals membership and money for synagogues, and non-Jewish celebrities dash into the limelight for their piece of prayer.

You decide if this week’s headlines are awe-some or aw-ful:

I recently posted about Madonna’s Kabbalah-inspired trip to Israel. But there was more in store than tossing her sins into the Mediterranean Sea. This past weekend Madonna and her husband,  Guy Ritchie, met with President Shimon Peres for nearly two hours. They spoke of peace and exchanged books; Madonna presented Peres with The Zohar and he gave her the book of Torah. Apparently, she called herself an “ambassador for Judaism.”

Home for the holidays, in the humid heat of Miami, Florida, the town is abuzz with the latest synagogue press stunt. In an effort to draw even more attention to South Beach’s already popular house of prayer, Temple Emanu-El posted an ebay auction for lifetime high holiday seats. Situated in the front row and good for three generations, the price for such proximal prayer? $1.8 million. Unsurprisingly, the seats did not sell but it seems the widespread coverage was worth the inflated price tag.

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September 19, 2007 | 7:34 pm

Banging Middle Eastern style

Posted by Dikla Kadosh

There’s something very sexy about a man holding a darbuka in his lap and striking his fingers across the top of it in rapid rhythmic movements. The earthy, primitive sound, the quick-paced beats, the flurry of hand motions - it’s absolutely mesmerizing.

Jamie Papish can teach you how to be enchanting and entertaining while playing the darbuka, a vase shaped drum also known as the dumbek, derbekke or tablah that is extremely popular with Israelis, Persians and Arab cultures. Papish is a hand percussionist who specializes in Middle Eastern styles and in addition to performing regularly with the Yuval Ron Ensemble, the Nashuva Band and many other groups, he teaches drumming workshops for kids and adults.

Starting Sept. 27, Papish will be teaching a 10-session Middle Eastern rhythms class on the fourth Thursday of every month. He’ll teach basic technique on four main percussion instruments: the darbuka, the riqq (aka Arabic Tambourine) - a small frame drum with cymbals, the zills (aka finger cymbals or zagat) - small brass cymbals placed on the thumb and middle finger of both hands, and the duff (aka frame drum, tar or bendir) - a large drum that sits between your legs.

Papish will guide you through various combinations, teach you how to enhance the groove, add dynamics and throw in bright bits of color.

Before long, you’ll have mastered the darbuka, discovered a new passion, and developed a powerful sense of confidence. Now that’s sexy.

Check out this lively darbuka performance from youtube:

7-9 p.m. every Thursday starting Sept. 27. Remo Recreational Drum Center, 7308 Coldwater Canyon, North Hollywood. (310) 463-1956. www.jamiepapishmusic.com.

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