March 29, 2012 | 12:57 am

Productivity: The Ultimate Distraction

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

As I have gained more awareness in the past few years, I have noticed that I tend to look for distractions so that I can avoid my feelings. My go-to distraction? Anything productive. I am addicted to being productive. Cleaning. Organizing. Coming up with a new idea to bring sales up. Running errands. Answering emails. Work, work and anything that feels like work.

I began to observe what other people’s distractions are. I found: TV, mobile games, Facebook, gossip, BBM, eating, drinking alcohol, smoking, coffee breaks, exercising. [I guess mine is not so bad. Being productive and working has better results than some other things I have seen people use as distractions.] I started contemplating the concept of distracting oneself. I am addicted to being productive. Some people are addicted to Facebook. Others, smoking. I decided addictions are addictions. Just because being productive doesn’t waste time or destroy my lungs, doesn’t mean that the addiction is okay.

As an entrepreneur, there is no dividing line between work and personal life. It is especially important to maintain mental, physical and emotional health. You are your business. If you’re not healthy, eventually your business will suffer.

For the past several years I have been checking in with my to-do list and have knocked out some pretty productive tasks. My new challenge: to just be with my feelings. Letting go of the addiction to be productive, my ultimate distraction.

What’s yours?

March 24, 2012 | 9:40 am

Sink or Stay Still

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Natural sandbar by Fanning Island. Photo by Wikipedia/Dr. James P. McVey/NOAA Sea Grant Program

‘Sink or swim’ should be revised to ‘sink or stay still.’

A friend of mine likes to tell a funny story about his ‘near death’ accident in the Honduras. He was swimming in the ocean when he all of a sudden gets an abdominal cramp. Following a recent appendicitis surgery, he started panicking. He was unable to move his body from excruciating pain and his mind was drowning in thoughts of fear. He thought he was going to die out in the ocean. He could not swim or move. There were no life guards around. What an awful way to die. In survival mode, he decided to simply take a deep breath and try to relax. Deep breath in and deep breath out. He held his breath and submerged himself underwater. As his body relaxed underwater, he extended his legs to realize: he was able to reach the ground! Although he was way out from shore, the ground was still within reach.

The lesson: sometimes in order to save yourself in any situation, ‘swimming’ or planning a course of action, is not the best option. Staying still is.

As a business owner [and human being] I am learning every day that being aware and in touch with myself in any given situation is more valuable. Panicking and searching for a plan of action is no longer my go to method for dealing with challenges. The still awareness in any challenge will present me with a solution.

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March 19, 2012 | 4:24 pm

The Beginner’s Mind

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Wikipedia defines “beginner’s mind” as having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.

Adapting a beginner’s mind set has huge benefits that I would like to share with you. It all starts with the notion that if you approach any situation as a “beginner” would, you will enter into the experience with more room to receive and process and will then have more room to evaluate and react. If you approach a situation with an “I am an expert” mind set, you will enter into the experience with defenses you have built from your past experiences and will most likely be out to prove your mind set right, which is that you already know. You are less likely to learn and grow in the latter example.

Another added benefit of adapting a beginner’s mind is that you let the person you are interacting with know that you trust the process you are engaging in and you trust them to have their own experience, without needing to prove yourself right as an expert.

Just a few areas in which you can really implement a beginner’s mind set and reap amazing benefits and growth:

- Customer Service: listen to each customer as if it is your first complaint.
- Relationships: engage in each experience with one another as if it is the first time.
- Staff Meetings: allow the meetings to flow is if it is the first staff meeting you have had and everyone can engage, defenses down.
- Dealing with a Challenge: research and evaluate as if it is the first time you have a challenge. This will also decrease your level of anxiety that you may carry from past challenges.
- In Any Spiritual or Religious Study: since spirituality and religion run very deep, studying each time as a beginner will really allow for your mind and soul to experience and grow, as you allow yourself to dive deep with each study without limitations that your “expert mind” would put on it.

Next time you are engaging in any experience, stop and gain awareness. Can you adapt a beginner’s mind?

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March 16, 2012 | 11:47 am

See You Later!

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Recently, I was having dinner with a friend who is an attorney. He is thinking of getting into the restaurant and hospitality business and potentially out of the legal field. He started talking about why he wants to pursue this business and said something that really resonated with me. His exact words: “I want to serve you well and see you later. It’s just that simple.” All he wants is to interact with happy people and be able to say, “See you later!” That is pretty simple, right?

Often times, we get caught up in the details of work. What are we good at, what logically fits expectation, what is safe, what is the short term and long term outcomes of the work. These are all wonderful to consider, but if deep down in your heart you are not aligned with your work, it won’t matter. Dig deep and connect with your feelings. What matters to you? What do you truly want? When you align yourself with your emotions in this way, you would be surprised as to what you are willing and able to do, logistically, to make what matters to you work for you in your life.

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