August 21, 2012 | 10:23 am

Thermostat or Thermometer: How Do You Function?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

It is very simple. As most genius is (in retrospect).

As an entrepreneur, mother, friend, lover, spouse or whatever valuable role you play: are you a thermostat or thermometer?
A thermostat sets the temperature that it expects.
A thermometer reads the current temperature.

If you are just an observer, being a thermometer works. But in your life, you are a thermostat. Your company and your family look to you to successfully set expectations and regulate. The dangerous place is to act as a thermometer when you are positioned as a thermostat.

Check yourself.

July 11, 2012 | 12:14 am

You’re The Man!

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

As someone who started a business from scratch, I often am compared to a man with statements like, “wow, that’s ball-sy of you,” and “you’re the man.” My immediate reaction: “I don’t get it. I’m so girly. What does it mean about me if people think I am ‘ball-sy.’ Do I have male characteristics? Am I manly?” I generally feel uncomfortable with these sort of remarks. But when I think about it a little deeper, I realize: maybe what society views to be a “man” is really just “hu-man.”

Humans, unlike animals, are first and foremost conscious with their feelings and intellect. Humans defend their beliefs, research and push for growth and development, invent, individuate from their past and move forward, yet also have an incredible ability to remember the past whilst moving forward.

I am human. I have visions and I try to follow them. I am conscious and have the ability to take action to honor my feelings. I do my best to not let society’s conditioning get in the way of my actions. Society often infuses fear, limitations and a judgment against those that break away from the status quo. Sometimes I lose the battle with societal beliefs and expectations. But when I win, I only become more human. That’s the beautiful part. I think on a deeper level when someone says, “you’re the man,” what they really mean is “you’re so hu-man.”

During these Three Weeks (Bein ha-Metzarim) as we mourn the loss of many tragic historical events, we also mourn the loss of an aspect of our relationship with God and community, which some believe causes room for tragedy to take place.

Take a moment to check in and see if you are also out of touch with your humanness: your ability to follow your beliefs, visions and aspirations in life with a fervor. As you rebuild your relationship with your people, your community and God, also remember to rebuild your relationship with your inner Hu-Man.

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June 25, 2012 | 4:39 pm

What Type of Leader Are You?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

As a college student, I was on campus every day - not in class, but rather in organization meetings and events. I was always sitting in on project planning meetings. At the time, I thought leadership was learned and I was on a mission! I was thirsty to learn how to build, grow and lead.

Is leadership an inherent set of traits or can it be learned? Psychologists have been researching this question for years. My personal belief is that it is both learned and inherent. I think you are born with a set of some leadership qualities that you use to build other qualities through out your lifetime.

Recently, I was reading INC. Magazine (June 2012 Issue) and really enjoyed their well-rounded list of 13 prevalent types of leaders - “13 Ways of Looking at a Leader.” It’s important to be aware of who you are and how you operate. The better you know yourself, the better you can lead yourself to be an awesome person in society. The 13 types are listed below, but for the full read click here.

1. Adaptive
2. Emotionally Intelligent
3. Charismatic
4. Authentic
5. Level 5
6. Mindful
7. Narcissistic
8. No-Excuse
9. Resonant
10. Servant
11. Storytelling
12. Strengths-based
13. Tribal

I would love to hear which of the 13 types of leadership you identify with. Personally, I probably have a tiny bit of each one in different circumstances, however my dominant types are: Adaptive, Authentic, Level 5, and Servant.

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June 4, 2012 | 4:50 pm

To Be or Not To Be Tznius?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Ma Ra Modest Clothing Line

If dressing in modest, yet stylish, clothing was ever a challenge for you or anyone you know, look no further! Marina Rahlin, designer of Popavina, has launched a new line of modest clothing: MaRa. MaRa, named after her grandmother, is a play on words. Ma Ra in Hebrew is a common phrase meaning “nothing is wrong.”
Marina’s vision?
To create stylish and trendy easy to wear, comfortable dresses. Don’t break a sweat! The dresses are made with light and “breathable” knit and silk fabrics. The styles are unique and perfect for a Shabbat dinner, first date or Yom Tov!

Beauty and tzniut may come from within, but do what you can on the outside… shop MaRa!

Ma Ra
https://www.facebook.com/MaRamodest
323-208-8097
Marina@maramodest.com

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May 21, 2012 | 11:44 pm

Do YOU Have Something to Prove?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Many people say all entrepreneurs are a little ‘crazy’. What seems like a huge risk to most, doesn’t seem like a risk to most entrepreneurs.

I have grown up around many entrepreneurs: friends in college who had start-ups - some highly successful and others an immediate loss, members in business organizations, and USC alumni who have recounted their inspiring stories many times. I have learned that some kind of trauma or insecurity is what drives most entrepreneurs in their quest for success. Matthew Gwyther, an editor for Management Today, says, “As one-off mavericks, they elude categorization, yet the characters who launch and nurture businesses all seem to have something to prove.”

I have to admit that I had something to prove at 22, when I decided to start my business from scratch. However, I have now grown. Over the years I feel that my drive has deteriorated as my need to prove something has almost disappeared. Whether it is your drive to succeed, to stay fit or simply to be a good friend - it is a little scary to lose your drive. It’s uncomfortable to think that a “survival” or “desperate” mentality can drive you to succeed, but once you are remotely comfortable or secure… your drive is gone.

Luckily, I am a business motivation and self-improvement book junkie. I have read time and time again about being driven from a place of love and vision. Although I have not yet experienced this, I get the feeling that I am graduating from being in survival mode and having something to prove. I look forward to being driven by vision and love. The possibilities of what could come seem magical.

Stop and take a moment to consciously think about how you may be out to prove something. Will you be able to handle the workload and push through with the same tenacity if you didn’t have something to prove? What drives you?

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May 3, 2012 | 1:27 pm

Positive Interdependence

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Several years ago I took a four day self-improvement seminar. I will admit: it was a little cult-ish in style, but some of their exercises were useful and had great takeaways. One exercise in particular I will never forget. They divided the whole group of maybe sixty people into two groups. The instructor put each group into two different rooms and gave us instruction on a game, that I now cannot recall, and explained that we needed to strategize with our group to see how we can get the most points in the game. After thirty minutes or so, the instructor walked in and asked us to come back to the main hall. No one won. The only way to get the most points was to get out of our room and team up with our opponents.

I felt betrayed. I was around 21 years old at the time and I had never had the true feeling behind the “win-win” concept until this moment. Growing up my classes, sports, competitions… everything was always “win-lose”. I thought about this for days. Why didn’t anyone ever teach me how to engage in a win-win situation if that was the best way to reach the most points [in a game or in life]. Being the competitive person I am, I loved it and hated it at the same time.

Yesterday I had the honor of hearing Bill Clinton speak at UCLA’s Royce Hall on “Embracing our Common Humanity.” His theme for the night was positive interdependence. I had flashbacks of the seminar I took and how positive interdependence can really help us all live better lives. Positive interdependence is where success depends on the participation of all members (where everybody wins - “win-win”). Growing my business the past several years has forced me to really implement this state of mind, practice and discipline. Everyone needs to be involved. Often times as a competitive person I like to take control of a project and take responsibility for other people’s tasks. [Yes, I was the nerd in the group project who did all the work while my group members were out drinking or something.] For me, it is about allowing and trusting that other people will show up to do their part. For some, it is about participating more themselves to show up for others. Think about how you can engage in positive interdependence in your work life, personal life and in everything that you do.

Read more about positive interdependence here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_interdependence

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April 19, 2012 | 12:26 am

Remember: When was the last time you appreciated your ability to simply remember?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Remembering.
Sometimes I take the the smallest of abilities for granted. You can probably relate. When was the last time you appreciated your ability to simply remember?

Personally, I am always trying to find new perspective in order to grow. I take on new hobbies. I read books. I travel to far away countries. I make new friends and pick their brains. I take strides and stretch all in search of new perspective. But often, all it takes is to remember the same thing at different times in my life. Every year on February 22nd, I remember the first day I opened my business as a 22 year old. Each time I remember, I have new perspective and new feelings that arise, simply from remembering that one day. Sometimes the memory sparks inspiration for new creative ideas to implement in my business. Other times, it brings gratitude for my growth and success. Always, the simple act of remembering brings value to my life and my personal and business growth.

I really believe our brain is our most powerful tool. Take a moment right now to appreciate the simple ability to elicit a feeling from just remembering a single moment. This is one of our many gifts as conscious beings.
Remembering may inspire us in our present moment to create a better future for ourselves.
Remembering may help us implement useful boundaries in our lives.
Remembering may help us stop and be conscious the next time we are faced with the same experience. 
And more importantly, remembering can help us help others who may not have had our unique experience.

In honor of Yom HaShoah: “Remembering the past is a sacred responsibility that links us to past generations, inspires us in the present, and keeps us focused on the future.” - Stacey Jill Zackin

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April 10, 2012 | 6:26 pm

Re-Paving a Road Once Paved

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Highway One- CA

“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” - Anonymous

Recently, I drove along the coast on Highway One (CA-1). I couldn’t help but think about the challenges of paving a road along the crevices of an ever-changing mountain range. Some people say it is not a safe drive - maybe they have not been on road trips in mountain ranges of foreign countries, where asphalt is a luxury. I had taken this drive before with my family when I was a kid. This time, I had entirely new perspective: one that reminded me of this quote.

No matter the condition it was in when it was first built, CA-1 is an absolute indication that when you build something that people can use and appreciate, it will last forever. Despite the fact that there are constant landslides, falling rocks, parts of the road that simply loosen from the mountain and fall into the ocean, the state makes an effort to re-pave the road once paved. Why? Because it’s worth lasting forever.

When thinking of a business idea, think about what is worth lasting longer than just your life?

What can you create that other people can use, enjoy and carry on?

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