May 21, 2012 | 10:44 pm

Do YOU Have Something to Prove?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Many people say all entrepreneurs are a little ‘crazy’. What seems like a huge risk to most, doesn’t seem like a risk to most entrepreneurs.

I have grown up around many entrepreneurs: friends in college who had start-ups - some highly successful and others an immediate loss, members in business organizations, and USC alumni who have recounted their inspiring stories many times. I have learned that some kind of trauma or insecurity is what drives most entrepreneurs in their quest for success. Matthew Gwyther, an editor for Management Today, says, “As one-off mavericks, they elude categorization, yet the characters who launch and nurture businesses all seem to have something to prove.”

I have to admit that I had something to prove at 22, when I decided to start my business from scratch. However, I have now grown. Over the years I feel that my drive has deteriorated as my need to prove something has almost disappeared. Whether it is your drive to succeed, to stay fit or simply to be a good friend - it is a little scary to lose your drive. It’s uncomfortable to think that a “survival” or “desperate” mentality can drive you to succeed, but once you are remotely comfortable or secure… your drive is gone.

Luckily, I am a business motivation and self-improvement book junkie. I have read time and time again about being driven from a place of love and vision. Although I have not yet experienced this, I get the feeling that I am graduating from being in survival mode and having something to prove. I look forward to being driven by vision and love. The possibilities of what could come seem magical.

Stop and take a moment to consciously think about how you may be out to prove something. Will you be able to handle the workload and push through with the same tenacity if you didn’t have something to prove? What drives you?

0 Comments — Leave your comment

Share this post: del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Reddit StumbleUpon Technorati YahooMyWeb

May 3, 2012 | 12:27 pm

Positive Interdependence

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Several years ago I took a four day self-improvement seminar. I will admit: it was a little cult-ish in style, but some of their exercises were useful and had great takeaways. One exercise in particular I will never forget. They divided the whole group of maybe sixty people into two groups. The instructor put each group into two different rooms and gave us instruction on a game, that I now cannot recall, and explained that we needed to strategize with our group to see how we can get the most points in the game. After thirty minutes or so, the instructor walked in and asked us to come back to the main hall. No one won. The only way to get the most points was to get out of our room and team up with our opponents.

I felt betrayed. I was around 21 years old at the time and I had never had the true feeling behind the “win-win” concept until this moment. Growing up my classes, sports, competitions… everything was always “win-lose”. I thought about this for days. Why didn’t anyone ever teach me how to engage in a win-win situation if that was the best way to reach the most points [in a game or in life]. Being the competitive person I am, I loved it and hated it at the same time.

Yesterday I had the honor of hearing Bill Clinton speak at UCLA’s Royce Hall on “Embracing our Common Humanity.” His theme for the night was positive interdependence. I had flashbacks of the seminar I took and how positive interdependence can really help us all live better lives. Positive interdependence is where success depends on the participation of all members (where everybody wins - “win-win”). Growing my business the past several years has forced me to really implement this state of mind, practice and discipline. Everyone needs to be involved. Often times as a competitive person I like to take control of a project and take responsibility for other people’s tasks. [Yes, I was the nerd in the group project who did all the work while my group members were out drinking or something.] For me, it is about allowing and trusting that other people will show up to do their part. For some, it is about participating more themselves to show up for others. Think about how you can engage in positive interdependence in your work life, personal life and in everything that you do.

Read more about positive interdependence here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_interdependence

0 Comments — Leave your comment

April 18, 2012 | 11:26 pm

Remember: When was the last time you appreciated your ability to simply remember?

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Remembering.
Sometimes I take the the smallest of abilities for granted. You can probably relate. When was the last time you appreciated your ability to simply remember?

Personally, I am always trying to find new perspective in order to grow. I take on new hobbies. I read books. I travel to far away countries. I make new friends and pick their brains. I take strides and stretch all in search of new perspective. But often, all it takes is to remember the same thing at different times in my life. Every year on February 22nd, I remember the first day I opened my business as a 22 year old. Each time I remember, I have new perspective and new feelings that arise, simply from remembering that one day. Sometimes the memory sparks inspiration for new creative ideas to implement in my business. Other times, it brings gratitude for my growth and success. Always, the simple act of remembering brings value to my life and my personal and business growth.

I really believe our brain is our most powerful tool. Take a moment right now to appreciate the simple ability to elicit a feeling from just remembering a single moment. This is one of our many gifts as conscious beings.
Remembering may inspire us in our present moment to create a better future for ourselves.
Remembering may help us implement useful boundaries in our lives.
Remembering may help us stop and be conscious the next time we are faced with the same experience. 
And more importantly, remembering can help us help others who may not have had our unique experience.

In honor of Yom HaShoah: “Remembering the past is a sacred responsibility that links us to past generations, inspires us in the present, and keeps us focused on the future.” - Stacey Jill Zackin

1 Comments — Leave your comment

April 10, 2012 | 5:26 pm

Re-Paving a Road Once Paved

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Highway One- CA

“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” - Anonymous

Recently, I drove along the coast on Highway One (CA-1). I couldn’t help but think about the challenges of paving a road along the crevices of an ever-changing mountain range. Some people say it is not a safe drive - maybe they have not been on road trips in mountain ranges of foreign countries, where asphalt is a luxury. I had taken this drive before with my family when I was a kid. This time, I had entirely new perspective: one that reminded me of this quote.

No matter the condition it was in when it was first built, CA-1 is an absolute indication that when you build something that people can use and appreciate, it will last forever. Despite the fact that there are constant landslides, falling rocks, parts of the road that simply loosen from the mountain and fall into the ocean, the state makes an effort to re-pave the road once paved. Why? Because it’s worth lasting forever.

When thinking of a business idea, think about what is worth lasting longer than just your life?

What can you create that other people can use, enjoy and carry on?

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 28, 2012 | 11:57 pm

Productivity: The Ultimate Distraction

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

As I have gained more awareness in the past few years, I have noticed that I tend to look for distractions so that I can avoid my feelings. My go-to distraction? Anything productive. I am addicted to being productive. Cleaning. Organizing. Coming up with a new idea to bring sales up. Running errands. Answering emails. Work, work and anything that feels like work.

I began to observe what other people’s distractions are. I found: TV, mobile games, Facebook, gossip, BBM, eating, drinking alcohol, smoking, coffee breaks, exercising. [I guess mine is not so bad. Being productive and working has better results than some other things I have seen people use as distractions.] I started contemplating the concept of distracting oneself. I am addicted to being productive. Some people are addicted to Facebook. Others, smoking. I decided addictions are addictions. Just because being productive doesn’t waste time or destroy my lungs, doesn’t mean that the addiction is okay.

As an entrepreneur, there is no dividing line between work and personal life. It is especially important to maintain mental, physical and emotional health. You are your business. If you’re not healthy, eventually your business will suffer.

For the past several years I have been checking in with my to-do list and have knocked out some pretty productive tasks. My new challenge: to just be with my feelings. Letting go of the addiction to be productive, my ultimate distraction.

What’s yours?

1 Comments — Leave your comment

March 24, 2012 | 8:40 am

Sink or Stay Still

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Natural sandbar by Fanning Island. Photo by Wikipedia/Dr. James P. McVey/NOAA Sea Grant Program

‘Sink or swim’ should be revised to ‘sink or stay still.’

A friend of mine likes to tell a funny story about his ‘near death’ accident in the Honduras. He was swimming in the ocean when he all of a sudden gets an abdominal cramp. Following a recent appendicitis surgery, he started panicking. He was unable to move his body from excruciating pain and his mind was drowning in thoughts of fear. He thought he was going to die out in the ocean. He could not swim or move. There were no life guards around. What an awful way to die. In survival mode, he decided to simply take a deep breath and try to relax. Deep breath in and deep breath out. He held his breath and submerged himself underwater. As his body relaxed underwater, he extended his legs to realize: he was able to reach the ground! Although he was way out from shore, the ground was still within reach.

The lesson: sometimes in order to save yourself in any situation, ‘swimming’ or planning a course of action, is not the best option. Staying still is.

As a business owner [and human being] I am learning every day that being aware and in touch with myself in any given situation is more valuable. Panicking and searching for a plan of action is no longer my go to method for dealing with challenges. The still awareness in any challenge will present me with a solution.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 19, 2012 | 3:24 pm

The Beginner’s Mind

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Wikipedia defines “beginner’s mind” as having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.

Adapting a beginner’s mind set has huge benefits that I would like to share with you. It all starts with the notion that if you approach any situation as a “beginner” would, you will enter into the experience with more room to receive and process and will then have more room to evaluate and react. If you approach a situation with an “I am an expert” mind set, you will enter into the experience with defenses you have built from your past experiences and will most likely be out to prove your mind set right, which is that you already know. You are less likely to learn and grow in the latter example.

Another added benefit of adapting a beginner’s mind is that you let the person you are interacting with know that you trust the process you are engaging in and you trust them to have their own experience, without needing to prove yourself right as an expert.

Just a few areas in which you can really implement a beginner’s mind set and reap amazing benefits and growth:

- Customer Service: listen to each customer as if it is your first complaint.
- Relationships: engage in each experience with one another as if it is the first time.
- Staff Meetings: allow the meetings to flow is if it is the first staff meeting you have had and everyone can engage, defenses down.
- Dealing with a Challenge: research and evaluate as if it is the first time you have a challenge. This will also decrease your level of anxiety that you may carry from past challenges.
- In Any Spiritual or Religious Study: since spirituality and religion run very deep, studying each time as a beginner will really allow for your mind and soul to experience and grow, as you allow yourself to dive deep with each study without limitations that your “expert mind” would put on it.

Next time you are engaging in any experience, stop and gain awareness. Can you adapt a beginner’s mind?

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 16, 2012 | 10:47 am

See You Later!

Posted by Samira Asemanfar

Recently, I was having dinner with a friend who is an attorney. He is thinking of getting into the restaurant and hospitality business and potentially out of the legal field. He started talking about why he wants to pursue this business and said something that really resonated with me. His exact words: “I want to serve you well and see you later. It’s just that simple.” All he wants is to interact with happy people and be able to say, “See you later!” That is pretty simple, right?

Often times, we get caught up in the details of work. What are we good at, what logically fits expectation, what is safe, what is the short term and long term outcomes of the work. These are all wonderful to consider, but if deep down in your heart you are not aligned with your work, it won’t matter. Dig deep and connect with your feelings. What matters to you? What do you truly want? When you align yourself with your emotions in this way, you would be surprised as to what you are willing and able to do, logistically, to make what matters to you work for you in your life.

1 Comments — Leave your comment