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Gun violence in America: Scandal!
Two years after his mother was shot and killed, Dallas Sonnier received a phone call from the police: His father had just been shot and killed.
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Spielberg to produce ‘Halo’ television series, plus other news from the Xbox One announcement
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Justin Timberlake and Coen brothers answer Jewish questions at Cannes
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Sean Penn lobbies for Charedi man imprisoned in Bolivia
Actor Sean Penn urged a congressional hearing to pressure Bolivia to release a haredi Orthodox father of five under house arrest in the country.
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Sarah Silverman sings about staying home in ‘Perfect Night’
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Maccabi Tel Aviv back on top but coach future uncertain
Champions Maccabi Tel Aviv have reasserted their dominance of Israeli soccer but media reports on Tuesday suggested they might have to continue their revival without coach Oscar Garcia.
7 Rules for Perfect Hummus
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State 194: A Documentary About Palestine
Opening this weekend at Laemmle’s Music Hall 3 is a very hot-button new documentary called State 194, which follows the recent history of Palestine. Many will approach this film with…
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When was the last time you opened a tub of hummus and swooned? When was the last time a restaurant put a plate of hummus in front of you, and…
What would my Israeli grandmother think?
When I hear about the latest events in Israel – the air strikes on weapons facilities in Syria, the flare-ups over women donning prayer shawls at the Western Wall –…
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April 20, 2011 | 3:24 am
DEAR DISNEY: Thank You For Teaching My Children These Valuable Lessons…
Posted by Sarah Tuttle-Singer
Follow JewishJournal.com on 
- Wild rodents are cuddly and cute and should totally sleep in your bed.
- Tigers make great pets.
 |
- People with British accents are evil.
- All Dogs go to Heaven.** They never hump your leg, eat their own shit or try to maul you.
- It’s OK to get married when you’re sixteen to a guy you just met in the middle of the ocean. But if you smell like fish, he might not want you.
 |
| This is a future episode of Sixteen and Pregnant just waiting to happen |
- If your dad knocks up your mom and then abandons her to go live in the middle of the forest, it’s all good.
 |
| (After all, who needs a father when you can have a homoerotic relationship with a rabbit?) |
- You can always tell when someone’s lying…It’s as plain as the nose on their face.
- Eat wild mushrooms. Especially if a caterpillar says so. And if a Doorknob tells you to drink something from a bottle, then by all means… (After all, if animals or inanimate objects are talking to you, you probably can’t do any more damage to your central nervous system.)
- True love conquers all: Even the Beastiality taboo.
 |
| Wait, this is legal, but Gay Marriage isn’t? |
- You should make out with girls who are unconscious. They want you to.
 |
| Roofie? Coma? |
- An attractive girl who moves into a
porno make.
 | ||
| If she gets pregnant, it’ll make for an interesting episode on the Maury Show. |
- You can fly you can fly you can fly! Pixie dust! Happy thoughts! Big ears! Magic carpet! An umbrella! Whatever! (Just send Disney the bills if you break your arm. Or get rabies from the mice in your bed.)
 |
| I will cut you! |
This post is dedicated to the memory of Professor Alan Dundes. After all, there is a thin line between folklore and fakelore…
And thank you Kelly Revak, Preston Peterson, and Corey Yoquelet for your help… all the way from the other side of the world.
** And yes, I know All Dogs Go To Heaven is NOT a Disney movie. But still.
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