Jewish Journal


December 30, 2010

My 20 New Year’s Resolutions



1. To develop an eating disorder and stick with it.
2. To include some 7’s and under in my circle of friends.
3. To stop correcting other people’s grammar out loud. 
4. To take a risk and every once in a while and answer a phone call from a private number.
5. To find a way to make money without getting a job.
6. To take trapeze classes at the Santa Monica pier. 
7. To take another Mindful Awareness class at UCLA’s MARC center.
8. To stop making flirtatious eye contact during meditation in my Mindful Awareness class.
9. To begin lying about my age.
10. To give more money to public radio than the rapacious cable company. 
11. To stop stealing my sister’s clothes from my parents house even though these designer pieces are just sitting there going to waste while she lives in Argentina.
12. To tweet at least once a day. 
13. To never watch another episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. 
14. To stop doing yoga in the prayer room at my Christian Law School. 
15. To stop referring to AA as a cultish Red Bull propaganda machine. 
16. To stop expecting men to stand up when I enter a room.
17. To stop holding the LA Riots against the LAPD.
18. To stop posting inappropriate pictures on Facebook.
19. To develop credit card debt that is commensurate with the national average.
20. To stop lying to people when I tell them how long it’s going to take me to get there.

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