Jewish Journal

Day Two of the Cleanse: weak, tired, and about to pass out

by Tamara Shayne Kagel

November 9, 2011 | 1:05 am

I hate this stupid cleanse.  I feel like I’m about to faint.  Part of the problem is that one of the integral aspects of doing this cleanse is eating this Ultimate Meal smoothie.  It is just so repulsive I cannot force myself to get that thing down.  I ate about half of it for lunch and maybe a quarter for dinner.  So this juice cleanse is quickly turning into a fast for me.  I’m assuming today’s headache and feeling like I might faint are all due to eating so little. 

My roommate seems to be doing better.  She says she doesn’t mind the smoothie as much as I do – maybe I just don’t have a very sophisticated palate.  However, she was talking a little crazy about what she would do for one single cracker.  My boyfriend however has all but given up.  He’s pledged to finish out tomorrow, but he doesn’t think he can go pass three days.

Meanwhile, I keep fantasizing about cheating.  We’re supposed to eat an avocado if we’re dying and I came very close tonight.  If I feel like this tomorrow I may have to, because it’s making it very hard to work.

I went to the AFI screening of The Artist tonight at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.  I enjoyed it and really wanted to hang out at the cast party afterwards but instead, I couldn’t wait to get into a car so I could have more lemon water and possibly crawl into a hole and die.  Why am I doing this again?

I must admit that if my roommate and boyfriend weren’t doing it, I would totally be cheating right now.  As much as I love my yoga training and all the other yogis, it’s just hard for me to believe that this is all going to do anything for me in the end.  Some of the other yogis said that this cleanse changed their life the first time they did it.  Some said they could feel the toxins leave their body in a powerful experience.  If that happens, I’m open to it.  But in the mean time, I’m still skeptical and still miserable.  Tomorrow is the all juice day.  What I wouldn’t give right now for a piece of bread…

Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter @tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.

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Tamara Shayne Kagel is a twenty-something fixture on the Los Angeles scene currently living in Santa Monica.  Currently, Tamara is a successful freelance writer (just ask her...

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