I have a Jewish daughter in 12th grade, which means one thing: college applications. The fact that she is applying is a given; my husband and I have followed the long-standing Jewish tradition of brainwashing our children into believing that college is nothing more than grades 13 though 16.
By the time you read this, I will have survived a big birthday. I am not going to tell you how many birth anniversaries have passed, because I hope you picture me as I picture myself: just out of college, with so much life ahead of me that I don’t mind wasting a little bit here and there.
Please send your resume if you are interested in the following position:
The following book titles are among the many that crowd my “divorce” bookshelf: “The Case for Marriage,” “Joint Custody With a Jerk,” “The 5 Love Languages” and “My Husband Is Gay.” Since my husband is not gay, and I’m not planning a divorce, I should probably explain why my home library is packed with self-help books related to marriage and divorce. These books served as background research for a book I wrote a while back called “The Divorce Lawyers’ Guide to Staying Married.”
My mother, who for years dreamt of holding her own baby in her arms, beamed as she held me, her firstborn. My beloved late grandmother, whose diplomatic skills were on par with Muammar Gadhafi’s, took one look at me and proclaimed, “Now you have a daughter, so now you can worry.”
The first line in the letter I received from my local school district screamed: “Our children need your help now!” Apparently, the district is facing yet another round of budget cuts from Sacramento and is turning to parents to “raise at least $1,000,000 by the end of March ... TO PROTECT TEACHER JOBS.”
Jews are not immune to America's divorce endemic.
Author and former practicing attorney Wendy Jaffe has written an interesting and illuminating work called, "The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married."
Despite our tradition that sets the 13th year as the start of adulthood, 13 is not the end of childhood or the beginning of adulthood. Instead, it is the start of a new stage -- teenager. Neither an adult nor child, a teenager is like Dr. Doolittle's Push-Me, Pull-You: Sometimes he seems to be pushing toward adulthood, and at other times he is pulling back toward childhood.
Last week at the Santa Monica Farmers' Market, I got a taste of what it is like to be an Israeli. Going about the ordinary tasks of life one moment, standing next to a corpse the next.