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Tag: Marty Kaplan

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  • If Bachmann and Palin Weren’t Pretty

    By Marty Kaplan

    May 27, 2011 | 10:34 am

    I wonder how much airtime Michele Bachmann (R.-Minn.) would get if she didn’t look the way she does. I wonder how much of Sarah Palin’s political appeal arises from her physical appeal.

    I have a feeling that wondering this will get me in hot water, but what the hell.

    I think...

  • Our friend Pakistan and other mental pretzels

    By Marty Kaplan

    May 2, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    On the same day that Americans are test-driving the idea that Osama bin Laden lived on the outskirts of Pakistan’s West Point, undetected, for six years, Orly Taitz goes to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to prove that President Obama’s long-form birth certificate is a forgery....

  • The naked Nielsens

    By Marty Kaplan

    April 20, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    The metrics are wearing no clothes.

    How would you react if you found out that the basis of your business model was bogus?  That’s the nightmare that the television industry is finally waking up to, and I bet that online media won’t be far behind.

    The TV business is built on...

  • The Naked Nielsens

    By Marty Kaplan

    April 14, 2011 | 12:37 pm

    The metrics are wearing no clothes.

    How would you react if you found out that the basis of your business model was bogus?  That’s the nightmare that the television industry is finally waking up to, and I bet that online media won’t be far behind.

    The TV business is built on...

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  • Moses, media piracy and the MPAA

    By Marty Kaplan

    April 4, 2011 | 10:06 am

    If only people understood why they shouldn’t do it, then they wouldn’t do it.

    That was the message of the inaugural speech last week by former senator Chris Dodd, the new chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America.  The subject was piracy, which he instead called “movie...

  • The more you watch, the worse you feel

    By Marty Kaplan

    March 21, 2011 | 11:20 am

    As if the triple whammy of the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster weren’t enough to enthrall and terrify us, the war in Libya is now providing cable news viewers a fresh hell to follow 24/7. 

    But wait, as they say in the infomercials—there’s more.  In Bahrain,...

  • Letters to the Editor: Gibson Scale, Glenn Beck, Aaron Liberman and Latino-Jewish Coalition

    March 15, 2011 | 5:47 pm

    Great Americans vs.‘Slimebags’

    The best reasons that I read The Jewish Journal are because of great Americans like Dennis Prager and David Suissa. It is nauseating to see columns by leftist slimebags like Marty Kaplan and Rachel Roberts (the doctoral student — OMG) (“Muslim...

  • Al Jazeera English vs. The Charlie Sheen Channel

    By Marty Kaplan

    March 9, 2011 | 12:44 pm

    “This is strictly a business decision,” a Comcast source told Rupert Murdoch’s Web site MarketWatch about whether Comcast, the biggest cable operator in the U.S., will offer Al Jazeera English to its 24 million subscribers.

    Not a decision about whether Al Jazeera English is...

  • The Monsters Are Due on Maple Streets

    By Marty Kaplan

    February 21, 2011 | 11:03 am

    The power has gone out in a typical American town.  Wait—it’s not just the electricity.  The phones don’t work, either.  Portable radios are dead.  Cars won’t start. 

    But then lawn mowers and cars and lights inexplicably start and stop on their own. What’s going on?  A...

  • Mitt Romney’s “South Park” primary

    By Marty Kaplan

    February 8, 2011 | 12:39 pm

    Egypt makes Mitt Romney look good – at least compared to other Republican presidential hopefuls.

    As Egypt’s pro-democracy movement showed its first peaceful signs of life, there was former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee telling a Knesset meeting that the anti-Mubarak protests...

  • My favorite blowhard

    By Marty Kaplan

    January 26, 2011 | 12:08 am

    I owe Keith Olbermann for enabling me to identify with Bill O’Reilly’s fans.

    I know: Oh, the irony. “Countdown With Keith Olbermann” and “The O’Reilly Factor” battled in the same time slot. Except when O’Reilly had Jon Stewart as a guest, it’s hard to imagine two...

  • The vitriol vitriol

    By Marty Kaplan

    January 9, 2011 | 4:32 pm

    “Clarabelle Dopenik.”  That’s what one wit on the popular conservative Web site freerepublic.com called Clarence Dupnik, the Pima County, Arizona sheriff who turns 75 this week.  Elected continuously since 1980, he is the public face of the investigation into the shooting of...

  • The senators who dissed baby Jesus

    By Marty Kaplan

    December 20, 2010 | 12:04 pm

    What’s the right word for what Sen. John Kyl (R-Ariz.) was doing when he attacked Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) for “disrespecting one of the two holiest holidays for Christians” by keeping Congress in session in the week before Christmas?  What do you call it when Sen. Jim DeMint...

  • My declaration of independents

    By Marty Kaplan

    December 6, 2010 | 11:55 am

    I think I’ve figured out how to get the White House to pay attention. 

    Clearly, being a Democrat doesn’t do the trick.  I can clamor all I want about bankers’ bonuses, carbon emissions, Net Neutrality – you know, the kind of promises that candidate Obama ran on.  But if...

  • How dumb do they think (know) we are

    By Marty Kaplan

    March 26, 2010 | 11:10 am

    I know some scary smart people who never graduated from high school, and I know some real doofuses with graduate degrees, so I understand that the number of years of formal education that someone has racked up is no guarantee of intelligence.  But every once in a while, I see some...

  • The Stem Cell Slippery Slope Fallacy

    By Marty Kaplan

    March 9, 2009 | 3:24 pm

    Of all the arguments against stem cell research, the lamest has to be that “it would put us on a slippery slope.”  But since this case comes from the same precincts that gave us “gay marriage will lead to incest and man-on-dog sex,” I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

    The...

  • Patriotic Extortion

    By Marty Kaplan

    February 9, 2009 | 3:59 pm

    Like religious zealots whose tiny parties hold Israeli governing coalitions hostage, three Republican senators have the Democratic Congress by the short hairs.  Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, along with Maine’s two Senators, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, have improbably been...

  • Liberal Parents, Liberal Children

    By Marty Kaplan

    January 26, 2009 | 8:56 pm

    When it comes to politics, today’s college freshmen resemble their baby boomer parents of 40 years ago in all ways except two. One way makes perfect sense; the other is a puzzle.

    The evidence about kids and their parents isn’t anecdotal; it’s documented in a study just...

  • The Science of Forty-Four

    By Marty Kaplan

    January 20, 2009 | 7:36 pm

    “We will restore science to its rightful place” — that’s the line I didn’t see coming.

    Anyone watching the backgrounders leading up to the inaugural knew that the incoming president would call for “a new era of responsibility.” His call to service, to find meaning in...

  • Begone, bygones! Green is the new blue and white

    November 13, 2008 | 12:45 am

    Bygones

    "Let Bygones (Not) Be Bygones" (Nov. 7) infuriated me. Marty Kaplan is not happy that Barack Obama was generous to his opponents and their supporters in his victory speech, because in his opinion, they are guilty of lies and character assassination for suggesting the...
  • Shame on Rabbis for Obama, hooray for Amy Klein, thanks for Marty Kaplan

    October 1, 2008 | 11:36 pm

    Online Dating Addict

    "True Confessions of an Online Dating Addict" -- "Cathy" it's not (Sept. 26). It's brilliant, and one of the smartest singles columns I've read. I love reading each week's adventure. Klein's journey is familiar, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so....
  • That campus anti-Semitism thing, you say it’s your birthday

    September 3, 2008 | 11:19 pm

    Quiet War at UCI

    It is unfortunate that The Jewish Journal would choose to run as its cover story two weeks ago an article by Brad Greenberg that preys on the deep and recurrent fears of some in our community of a rampant anti-Semitism on our college campuses ("Quiet War on Campus,"...
  • Eating Bambi, Zell again, Bergson, broken heart

    August 14, 2008 | 1:45 am

    Agriprocessors

    I was relieved to learn that Rabbi Dovid Eliezrie of Chabad of Yorba Linda found that the working conditions and safety benefits at the Agriprocessors plant were "above par" ("Eating Bambi," Aug. 8).

    Has he done a comprehensive survey of meatpacking plants in the...
  • Zell it, Sam; Cool it, Orit; 40 million Frenchmen

    August 7, 2008 | 12:06 am





    Sell It, Sam

    Nice editorial on the demise of the L.A. Times as we have known it and loved to hate it all these years ("Sell It, Sam," Aug. 1).

    Didn't anyone realize when Sam Zell bought the Tribune Co. that real estate value was at the top of his list?

    And as to the problems of...
  • Butt flag fever, Orthodox crawl, what to expect, propaganda

    July 31, 2008 | 1:00 am

    Flag Skirts

    I was very interested in the subject matter of the young people of the United States going to Israel on the Birthright program (Cover, July 18).

    However, am I the only paranoid Jew who found it offensive? Since when is it appropriate to drape a flag (from any country)...
  • Kaplan, Eshman, Carlin and Tom

    July 17, 2008 | 1:23 am

    Marty Kaplan

    Thank you, thank you for adding Marty Kaplan to your staff ("The Los Angeles Bagels," July 11).

    He shines physically and intellectually. He is not only smart but wise (and so is Rob Eshman).

    E. Ehrenreich
    Torrance



    Boys to Men

    Although I only have anecdotal...
  • Suissa on the edge, gay marriage, ice on Mars

    July 3, 2008 | 11:31 am

    Same-Sex Marriages

    In the cover story ("Same Sex Marriage and the Fabric of Society: What Does it All Mean?" June 20), the section, "The End of Morality," is devoted to anti-gay viewpoints (including Dennis Prager, perhaps inserted as deference to some aberrant sense of balance).
    ...
  • Kaplan’s Collage

    By Tom Teicholz

    August 17, 2006 | 8:00 pm

    Here's Marty Kaplan blogging on Huffington Post about suggested treatments for Mel Gibson's "problem":
    "'Jew Like Me' is another strategy. Walk a mile in my shoes. Gain 10 pounds at my table. Wait two hours after lunch before swimming. Laugh that ironic meta-laugh right along with...
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