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Tag: J Smith

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  • In Escrow

    By J.D. Smith

    July 17, 2003 | 8:00 pm

    When you last left me, I had just proposed to my long-suffering girlfriend, Alison, while on the beach with a pimple. She said "yes," and we agreed to start fighting about the wedding plans as soon as possible.

    The day before I popped the question, my life was a relatively quiet...

  • Off the Market

    By J.D. Smith

    January 16, 2003 | 7:00 pm

    Hello again. I've been away for a while. For those of you who actually follow this space (Hi Mom!), thanks for your kind words -- I've missed you, too.

    Nothing personal, but I've been busy, OK? For one thing, I started a new business and it takes a lot of my time. (Let me tell you,...

  • What Women Want

    By J.D. Smith

    October 17, 2002 | 8:00 pm

    I picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine in Dr. Rudnick's office the other day. Leafing through, I started to form a picture that somewhere in there -- between the Bedside Astrologer and a story titled "The Seven Dreams You Must Not Ignore" -- was the answer to the question: What...

  • Big Mouth Strikes, Again

    By J.D. Smith

    August 29, 2002 | 8:00 pm

    A few years ago, the rabbi offered the following challenge to the congregation: Spend one full day without gossiping whatsoever. His definition includes saying bad things about people, things which may happen to be true. It wasn't easy. My sister and I almost made it out of the...

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  • The Early Midlife Crisis

    By J.D. Smith

    August 22, 2002 | 8:00 pm

    My 29-year-old cousin, "Barry," is having his first "midlife" crisis. By simple math, this would put his entire life span at a scant 58 years, well shy of the actuarial tables' prediction. His midlife crisis should be about 10 years hence. It's been a slow week over here at my place,...

  • Native Son

    By J. D. Smith

    June 6, 2002 | 8:00 pm

    A few months ago, I wrote a story in these pages about my experiences as a Jewish Big Brother. As Paul Harvey says, here's "The Rest of the Story."

    My Little Brother, Josh, invited me to his graduation from Northwestern Law School last month. "No, thanks," I said. "I can do better....

  • About a Boy

    By J.D. Smith

    April 18, 2002 | 8:00 pm

    Several years ago I became a Jewish Big Brother. The decision to do so followed fast on the heels of a breakup with my girlfriend, in one of those "search for meaning" moments of introspection that only getting tossed out of the house can provide.

    After a series of interviews and...

  • Cable Vision

    By J.D. Smith

    February 28, 2002 | 7:00 pm

    I'm seeing someone. Let's call her Alison. We're dating. We're in that very gray area between being total strangers and celebrating our silver wedding anniversary. Three months into it and people are already asking when we're getting married. At this point, we're cautiously...

  • The Parking Spot Theory

    By J.D. Smith

    February 14, 2002 | 7:00 pm

    Here's my "Parking Spot Theory": Let's say you're driving around, looking for a parking spot and you can't find one. You drive around the block again and, still, nothing. You look up ahead at the other cars circling the block and no one is getting a parking spot. Frustration builds....

  • Generation Ex

    By J.D. Smith

    January 31, 2002 | 7:00 pm

    My editor recently suggested that as long as I was writing something called "Singles," it might be helpful if I actually went out on a date every once in a while. Research. Give the column the ring of verisimilitude.

    I must admit that I resisted at first. I've been on dates before....

  • Self-Improvement for Dummies

    By J.D. Smith

    January 3, 2002 | 7:00 pm

    Some of the letters we get here at the Jewish Journal are quite flattering. Some people relate that they find my biweekly musings to be pithy and funny (thanks, mom!). If these people can be trusted, they are laughing out loud, weeping with laughter, dying of laughter. I've killed...

  • Your Letters

    December 27, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    Irv Rubin

    Jewish organizations had a field day denouncing Irv Rubin and his Jewish Defense League. All claimed he had no support in the Jewish community anywhere.

    Rubin is innocent unless proven guilty at trial.

    It is difficult to believe that this intelligent, articulate Jewish...

  • Jingle Bell Rock

    By J.D. Smith

    December 13, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    A 27-year-old Jewish woman named Amy goes to see her grandmother.

    "Bubbe," she says, "I'm getting married!"

    "That's wonderful, darling. So, tell me ... what's he like? Is he Jewish?"

    "Yes, Bubbe, he's Jewish. He keeps the Sabbath."

    "What else? How old is he?"

    "Well, Bubbe, he's a...

  • The Age of Reason

    By J.D. Smith

    November 29, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    I thought I had exhausted every possible way to meet members of the opposite sex: blind dates and JDates, fishing for invitations to big Hollywood parties and intimate dinner gatherings. I joined art groups in the hopes of finding like-minded women while shrouding myself in a veneer...

  • Do It for Your Country

    By J. D. Smith

    October 11, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    It's over. Being single is officially over. When The New York Times Sunday Style section, the definitive arbiter of all that is cool and urbane, runs a cover story saying it's over (above the fold!), you know it's over. When the venerable Gray Lady concedes that the "glamour of...

  • Unfunny Business

    By J. D. Smith

    September 20, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    I sat down to write my regular column today. I had some pithy observations about a wedding I attended over the summer. It had all the makings of a witty little number. And then the World Trade Center blew up and the world is a vastly different place since when I wrote my last column....

  • Your Letters

    August 9, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    Israeli Solidarity

    On July 22, a number of progressive Jewish organizations stood together at a rally that was billed as an expression of "solidarity with the people of Israel." We came because we believe that love and support transcends ideology.

    To be sure, we were concerned that...

  • The Way to a Woman’s Heart

    By J. D. Smith

    May 31, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    I began cooking some years ago, drawn to the kitchen's rocky shores by the twin muses of economy and romance, shall we say (because it sounds so much better than the twin demons of cheap and horny).

    This siren's song promised that the best way of getting a woman back to your place at...

  • Bum Knees

    By J. D. Smith

    April 19, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    The reason I am limping is because of a small man named Shen Hsu. That's not entirely accurate. I went to see Hsu because I was limping. He performed a variety of ancient Chinese medical practices on me, including acupuncture and a form of massage that could easily be mistaken for...

  • Put a Man On It

    By J. D. Smith

    April 5, 2001 | 8:00 pm

    It is simply amazing that the Jewish people have managed to survive as long as we have, given our utter inability to do anything.

    Oh, sure, we're whizzes in the areas of law, medicine, arts, marketing and, lest we forget, religion, but if you actually need something done around the...

  • The Fountainhead

    By J. D. Smith

    March 8, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    My friend Roth is dating a girl named Erica. By religion, she is Swedenborgian. He'd never even heard of this (neither had I), until she came along and spelled it all out for him.

    Emanuel Swedenborg was an 18th-century multidisciplined scholar in Sweden -- their version perhaps of...

  • Model Behavior

    By J. D. Smith

    February 22, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    My cousin Barry, who is 27 and looks like a scale model of Michelangelo's "David," is dating a 21-year-old Skechers model. Skechers is a line of shoes and clothing that I have never worn and generally think look ridiculous. You can't swing a cat on Melrose Avenue without hitting...

  • Downhill Doubts

    By J.D. Smith

    February 1, 2001 | 7:00 pm

    My father has disowned me. We did not get into a fight about the family business -- there is no family business. I did not marry out of the faith, and I have no children about whose upbringing we can disagree. The source of our irreconcilable differences is that we went skiing...

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