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My Single Peeps: Guershon M.

The most embarrassing aspect of Guershon’s life is that he’s 34 and lives with his mom, so of course I’ll lead with that. “I started film school and I [moved in with my mom], and the hardest thing for me was it seemed like [my friends] had all their s— together. It was really hard for me to really go out a lot and date … and it’s gotten progressively harder. It’s kind of hard to say, ‘Yeah, I live at home.’ It was really embarrassing — especially when I hit 30. Then I started seeing my friends where I lived saying, ‘I got laid off. I can’t believe it, but I have to live with my parents again.’ So I said, ‘OK, this leveled the playing field a little for me.’ ”

My Single Peeps: Isaac S.

When Isaac sits down to speak with me, I see the rugged beard with a shot of gray around the chin, the athletic build and the tight-fitting Israeli-style clothes, and I think, “I know exactly who this guy is.” He has an Israeli accent, so when he first says to me, “In Israel I was in the army and then came here and worked as a professional dancer,” I’m not sure I’ve heard correctly. A dancer? I ask him to repeat himself.

The Candy Man Can

If you\’ve ever tried to split a Big Hunk candy bar — the kind made out of brittle white nougat and peanuts — then you understand a typical breakup.

No Deposit, No Return

Dating is difficult enough without asking for a guarantee. Imagine my surprise when the last guy I went out with wanted just that.

‘Talk to You Soon’

A short time ago, in a galaxy all too familiar, a smart, adorable guy I\’d been chatting with for months faded — like one too many others — into oblivion. The red flags were raised from day one.

Singles – Want, Not Want

Relationships in my life never seem to end. Guys are always calling me back, weeks, months, years later. My life is like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie: He\’ll be back. After a breakup I try to remember this, that there are never any goodbyes, just au revoirs. Trickle Trickle Drip Drip.

Watch Out Ladies, Dad’s Dating Again

Sure, I\’ve dated a fair amount, but the over-70 age range is one even I haven\’t yet ventured into. Don\’t have a clue as to what those gals have on their mind. But judging from the women I do know, I\’m guessing cats and jewelry wouldn\’t be too far off.

Singles – Poetry in Motion

In one night, I had dinner at an all-you-can eat salad bar in Arcadia, met my father\’s first girlfriend in 25 years and weathered a nearly disastrous poetry emergency.

Sound the onomatopoetic sirens; this thing was a relationship 911. Free verse was about to cost my father the best relationship of his life. And it was my fault. What rhymes with \”Zero tact\”?

So there I was, sitting across the table from dad\’s new girlfriend, trying to impress her, using my best table manners, eating forkfuls of canned beets on my self-consciously dainty salad and thinking to myself: \”This is just weird.\”

Will She Marry Him?

\”You guys know I love Carrie very much, and I\’m going to ask her to marry me. I\’d like to get your blessing.\”

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