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Tag: Funny

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  • Oh Carnival Cruise Line, how I wish you’d step up to the rest of them…

    By Julia Bendis

    July 18, 2011 | 9:26 pm

    Maybe some of you noticed that I haven’t written in the last week.  Alright, none of you noticed but that’s not the point.  My husband and I took the boys on a long awaited vacation on board the “brand new” Carnival cruise ship called ‘Splendor’, or as I am calling it ‘Ineptness’.

    ...
  • Supermarket Memories…

    By Julia Bendis

    July 9, 2011 | 3:20 pm

    Every time I’m at the Supermarket, I start to remember my very first trip to one just like it.  When you come to America from the former Soviet Union and enter ANY grocery store, you are bound to go into shock.  As I’ve written before, the shelves of U.S.S.R.’s grocery stores...

  • Summer Rules are not meant to be followed, at least in my house…

    By Julia Bendis

    July 6, 2011 | 12:01 pm

    I am just not as Tiger-esque as I had hoped to be this summer, in fact I am the very opposite of the Tiger Mother!  But, I did have big plans to become one over the summer break…  And even bigger plans to grow a pair when it comes to my children NOT sitting around watching TV,...

  • Voicemail and My Father’s Outgoing Message…

    By Julia Bendis

    July 2, 2011 | 2:59 pm

    The other day a friend of mine told me that I am the only person she knows that still owns an answering machine…  Apparently, everyone else in the world has long done away with those and only using electronic voice-mail now.  I’m a bit slow with technology, I admit.  However, I...

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  • More Facts, Questions and Things I Will Never Understand or Have Answers To.

    By Julia Bendis

    June 29, 2011 | 4:22 pm

    1. Why Oh why do people insist on asking how you are doing, when they don’t plan on listening to the answer?  Just say “Hello” and keep walking!  But don’t ask people how they are, and then interrupt them mid-sentence to tell them how late you are and need to run!

    2. Why is it that...

  • Ghosts, Spirits and My Kids’ Wild Imagination…

    By Julia Bendis

    June 23, 2011 | 11:51 am

    Ever since my Grandmother passed away twelve years ago, I have been feeling like I am never alone.  Even if the house is completely silent and free from all and any rambunctious/annoying children, I always feel like there is someone else in there with me.  Being pretty superstitious,...

  • The laws according to a Super Model, Gisele Bündchen!

    By Julia Bendis

    June 9, 2011 | 11:50 am

    Have you heard the breaking news?

    Gisele Bündchen, the Victoria’s Secret supermodel and a wife of pretty-boy NFL star Tom Brady has announced that she would like to pass a law mandating Mothers having to Breastfeed their babies for a minimum of six (6) months!  Yes, the skinny...

  • Obvious vs. the-Not-So-Obvious!

    By Julia Bendis

    May 31, 2011 | 1:18 pm

    Lately I’ve been thinking about the many jobs I have had, all through my teenage years and adulthood.  The reason I started thinking about them is simple: every time my children talk about what they want to do when they grow up, and it changes daily, I usually have a funny anecdote...

  • What’s an Expiration Date?

    By Julia Bendis

    May 27, 2011 | 1:44 pm

    The other day I had a very educational conversation with my son.  It involved those small letters and numbers that most normal people know as “Expiration Date” printed on many food items that we purchase…  To my Russian family they were known as nonsense writing that meant...

  • Jury Duty!

    By Julia Bendis

    May 23, 2011 | 3:17 pm

    As much as I love to participate in any and all civic duties, being chosen for Jury Duty just wasn’t going to happen.  Believe it or not, this was the first time I had ever received a notification requiring me to fulfill my civil duty.  As I opened the letter, immediately I started...

  • Jewish Men Don’t Cheat! Ha! And Ashley Madison is a Dating Site!

    By Julia Bendis

    May 17, 2011 | 11:55 am

    Ever since Tiger Woods slipped and unleashed a fury onto himself, every woman out there has been asking the same question: “How could he?  Why would he?”  Then, Jesse James, a.k.a. Mr. Sandra Bullock followed in suit, not to mention countless government officials; gay or straight. ...

  • Angelina Jolie’s Tattoos.

    By Julia Bendis

    May 15, 2011 | 6:07 pm

    As I looked at pictures of Angelina Jolie’s tattoos, I couldn’t help but want to get some more of my own.  The longitude and latitude ink of her childrens’ bithplaces looks so neat on her arm.  But not wanting to be a copy cat, I thought of putting actual names of cities where...

  • Breast is Best - Give me a Break!

    By Julia Bendis

    May 12, 2011 | 9:37 am

    Apparently, there is a new study out that specifically links breast-fed babies with a better behavior when they are four or five years old, than those that weren’t breast-fed.  Are you kidding me?  Of course breast-feeding your child is good for them, we all know that by now.  Do...

  • Protesting in the U.S.A. - A waste of time?

    By Julia Bendis

    May 9, 2011 | 1:56 pm

    I am a huge advocate for standing up for what’s right, freedom of speech and people’s right to speak their mind; when it has direct impact on their lives, like a local issue.  Most often than not, I am raising hell over various issues, opening my big mouth and trying to change things...

  • Amy Chua a.k.a The Tiger Mother Got It Right!

    By Julia Bendis

    May 3, 2011 | 11:28 am

    When I first heard about Amy Chua, the self-professed Chinese Tiger Mother, I didn’t understand what all the hype, the drama and the hatred was about.  After reading more about her and her parenting memoir “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, I couldn’t help but like her even more!

    ...
  • We got Apples and Oranges and Pears, Oh My!

    By Julia Bendis

    April 28, 2011 | 3:33 pm

    Watching Chelsea Handler the other night made me think of all the idiotic names parents give their children these days.  You might have guessed by that intro that she had none other than Gwyneth Paltrow as a guest on her show.  As Chelsea asked about her daughter Apple, I couldn’t...

  • A Soviet Passover…

    By Julia Bendis

    April 18, 2011 | 3:07 pm

    How do you prepare for Passover when the rest of the world doesn’t stop to observe it?  When the rest of the world takes a break for Christian holidays, and people have time to cook and prepare for a religious celebration, do they realize how much it sucks to be a Jew, a Muslim or...

  • Oh Jared Leto, how little I knew about your band…

    By Julia Bendis

    April 11, 2011 | 2:07 pm

    What started out as a surprise of a lifetime, quickly turned into a XXX porn show for many children and one particular fifth-grader.

    I like to think that I am a pretty fun parent, but when my husband and I surprised our eleven-year-old with tickets to Thirty Seconds to Mars concert,...

  • Sarah Palin must be so proud - Bristol is cashing in!

    By Julia Bendis

    April 7, 2011 | 2:24 pm

    While reading the newspaper, I stumbled upon an article talking about Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol.  Apparently, being an unwed teenage Mother in this country really pays off!  Bristol was named an Ambassador of Candie’s Foundation to speak and spread awareness about being a...

  • Pet Rescue or a Scam?

    By Julia Bendis

    April 4, 2011 | 2:30 pm

    My son and I were spending last Sunday together, just the two of us.  We ran some errands, bought him things for school, and went to lunch.  As we were driving past a Petsmart store, we saw a sign for an organization that adopts out dogs.  Knowing my son, I tried to avert the car so...

  • My evening at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences honoring “Hot in Cleveland”

    By Julia Bendis

    March 31, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    Last night I was at the Academy of Television’s event honoring the TV sitcom ‘Hot in Cleveland’.  They often have these events for up and coming shows, mainly as a panel Q and A and a celebrity host/moderator.  This time it was the legendary Larry King moderating, asking questions...

  • Home buying options according to a Kindergartner!

    By Julia Bendis

    March 24, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    I started on an endless journey to find a new house.  Everyone knows how incredibly daunting and frustrating that can be, but throw in a few plumbing issues in the house that we are currently in, and it makes for a very urgent matter…  For days now, my husband and I have been going...

  • Words of Wisdom or something like it.

    By Julia Bendis

    March 21, 2011 | 5:52 pm

    - When people say that they are only 5 minutes away, they are really 20 minutes away.

    - If your Doctor’s appointment is at 3 p.m., show up at 3:15 to skip sitting in the waiting room.  It works like a charm!

    - When your kid is going on and on about something, and the story doesn’t...

  • California on Purim [VIDEO]

    March 16, 2011 | 5:02 pm

  • Sister Wives, Polygamy, not too bad of an idea…

    By Julia Bendis

    March 14, 2011 | 9:50 pm

    I have to admit that watching the show “Sister Wives” on TLC made me think about what it would be like to have so-called wives in my family.  To tell the truth, it doesn’t seem like such a terrible idea.  If you think about it, the only bad part are too many children by all those...

  • To Be or Not to Be, Rich…

    By Julia Bendis

    March 3, 2011 | 10:21 am

    Please tell me how can anyone get ahead in this world, financially that is?  I should rephrase: how can an average person with children get a head in this world?

    I sit here pondering that question while staring at the Orthodontic Invoice for my fifth-grader’s teeth!  Three...

  • 10 things I love and understand

    By Julia Bendis

    February 25, 2011 | 1:42 pm

    1. Don’t you love those people that use ALL CAPS when typing?  What is the thought there?  That unless you use all capital letters nobody will read your email, or that its a lot more important that other people’s emails?  And furthermore the same people that use all caps, don’t know...

  • Ladies of the View and Hasselbeck…

    By Julia Bendis

    February 19, 2011 | 1:31 pm

    Is it just me or is the show, ‘The View’ going down the hill?  The last couple of years it seems that the show has gotten a lot more hostile than in the past…  They have great guests on the show, and their topics are pretty relevant but its the hosts that bug me the most.  Not all of...

  • Valentine’s Day Peep Show!

    By Julia Bendis

    February 14, 2011 | 6:14 pm

    I really don’t like Valentine’s Day!  I hate everything about it, the stupid, corny Hallmark cards, the over-priced flowers, the overcrowded restaurants, the need to out-do each other with pricey gifts, etc…  I am not saying that we shouldn’t show our love for the people in our...

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