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  • Dear Deborah

    By Deborah Berger

    August 21, 1997 | 8:00 pm


    Roller-Coaster Life

    Dear Deborah,

    I have had a strange, traumatic, roller-coaster life, but I havefinally settled down with a truly wonderful man. The problem I haveis that I cannot understand why I feel so empty and have no sexualdesire whatsoever for my prince.

    When I was small, my...

  • A Modern Grandfather

    By Tom Tugend

    August 21, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    A Modern Grandfather

    By Tom Tugend, Contributing Editor

    They don't make grandparents like they usedto.

    Time was when the doddering old dears couldn't imagine a greaterthrill than having the grandkids over and spoiling them rotten.

    Nowadays, a phone conversation is more likely to go like...

  • A Family Doctor

    By Rob Eshman

    August 14, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    When Dr. William H. Parker talks, women listen. As chair of theobstetrics and gynecology department at Santa Monica-UCLA MedicalCenter and a clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine, hisjob depends on being able to give clear, calm answers to the fraughtquestions of women's...

  • Wave of the Future

    By Ruth Stroud

    August 14, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    If there's an image of the South Bay, it's this sun-drenched visionof perpetual summer and youth. But does this picture contain anyJews? For years, the myth has been that it didn't, or, if there wereany, they were passing as something else.

    But it turns out that there are more Jews in...

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  • Make the Time Count

    By Rabbi Ed Feinstein

    August 14, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Child rearing, it turns out, is a relativelyshort-term project. The truth is that we don't have them for verylong. Eighteen years, that's all. Eighteen years, from birth untilthey move away to Stanford. If your child is 5, you've got 13 yearsleft. If your child is 8, you've got 10...
  • ‘What’s the Meaning of Life ?’

    By Rabbi Ed Feinstein

    August 7, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Love answering children's questions. I'll visit a classroom and face an eager chorus of "DidGod create dinosaurs?" and "Where do people go when they die?" Then,at the end, there's always one wise guy, who smirks and asks, "What'sthe meaning of life?" I love that kid. I admire his...

  • LettersPublic vs. Day Schools

    July 31, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    It was with dismay and embarrassment that I read
    your cover story "Beyond Their Means" (July 18). As a
    committed Jew, I am appalled at the attitude of the
    people quoted in the article who seem to think that their
    children have the "right" to a Jewish day school
    education. It astounds...
  • The Good Son

    By Linda Feldman

    July 31, 1997 | 7:59 pm

    My birthday used to be celebrated as if it were a national holiday. From the backyard pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey days to the touch football games on the beach at Easthampton, July 16 was a date inscribed in infamy.

    My children forgot my birthday at their own peril. So they never did....

  • Dear Deborah

    By Deborah Berger

    July 24, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Family events do not necessarily create closeness. Painting "Tompkins Square Park" by Morris Shulman, from "The Jews in America," 1994

    One Big, Happy...

    Dear Deborah,

    I have always had the fantasy of having a big family. I complained bitterly to my parents about being a single child,...

  • LettersDefending Dad

    July 24, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    A copy of the Jewish Journal of March 21 has just come to my possession with an article entitled "An Unfashionable Opinion" by Sally Ogle Davis. This is based on the film "Shine" and an interview with Gillian and David Helfgott.

    Davis describes David's father's depiction in the film...

  • Letters

    July 17, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Responses to Sexuality

    I was disappointed by your June 27 issue, which overall equates non-marital sex with maturity, and warns parents not to be judgmental about their children's behavior. In light of evidence showing that people who are sexually active prior to marriage have more...

  • From Sexuality to Sensuality

    By Linda Feldman

    July 17, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    There we were, my family, 11 anarchists cruising down to Ensenada for four days on the Viking Serenade, celebrating my mother's 85th birthday. I roomed with the birthday girl in one of those cabins where you have to yell, "Watch out!" when you exit the lavatory.

    When we returned, I...

  • On Exhibit: Diplomats and Émigrés

    By Tom Tugend

    July 17, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Hiroki Sugihara (foreground) is among the five Simon Wiesenthal Center honorees in the new exhibit, "Visas for Life: The Righteous Diplomats." Members of a small and select club were remembered and honored on Monday with the opening of the exhibit "Visas for Life: The Righteous...
  • LettersBilingual Blues

    July 10, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    I have just read the article "Bilingual Blues," by Joel Kotkin in the June 20 issue, and agree with him in supporting the initiative "English for Children," provided the assimilationist ideology of the "one nation" concept is deleted from the measure.

    I am a credentialed elementary...

  • Dear Deborah

    By Deborah Berger

    July 10, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Illustration from "Painting with Passion," 1994. Photo-illustration by Carvin Knowles

    Losing My Religion

    Dear Deborah,

    My husband and I have decided to get a divorce, and we have amicably worked everything out -- finances, custody, etc. What has become acrimonious and ugly are our...

  • A House Divided

    By Gene Lichtenstein

    July 10, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    My grandparents were Orthodox Jews. They arrived on these shores shortly before the onset of the first world war and had four children, two sons and two daughters. Two of the children were artist-intellectuals, somewhat on the bohemian side (a musician and an artist) and quite...
  • Up Front Books that Cook

    July 3, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    You can write a decent Jewish cookbook by collecting the recipes of decent Jewish cooks, or you can write a truly fine Jewish cookbook by compiling the recipes of fine cooks who happen to be Jewish. Make sense? It will when you consider two of the newest entries to the Jewish cooking...
  • Daring To Be Different

    By Diane Arieff

    June 26, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    As any parent will tell you, shepherding girls over the treacherous bridge of adolescence is no easy task. Making sure that there is a Jewish dimension to the journey adds other challenges. There are no easy answers. But a conversation with Tamar Frankiel seems a good place to begin....

  • The Good Lieutenant

    By Tom Tugend

    June 26, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    "When I started this work two years ago, I was like a young child," says Cheli. "Now, many times I feel like an old woman."

    Cheli is a lieutenant in the Israeli army's Nachal Brigade, and when one of the young soldiers in her unit is killed, she goes to his parents, tells them how...

  • Barney’s Version

    June 26, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Author Mordechai Richler

    "Barney's Version"by Mordechai Richler, (Knopf, $25)

    Like some of his Jewish contemporaries to the south, Canadian novelist Mordechai Richler has mined a literary career from thefertile terrain of assimilationist Jewish culture, most notably inbooks such as "The Apprenticeship of...

  • Briefs

    By Tom Tugend

    June 19, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Professor Sandler at the podium; Simha and Sara Lainer (right) with Profesor EcksteinWhen Professor Shmuel Sandler was named first incumbent of the Lainer Chair in Democracy and Civility at Bar-Ilan University, he faced an immediate semantic problem.

    "There is no word for 'civility'...

  • Address Special Needs

    June 19, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    We read Beverly Gray's "Neglecting Those with Special Needs," (June 6) with great interest. We have one of those special needs children. We have utilized educational, psychological, physiological testing and developed an IEP (individual educational plan) for our son. He is currently...
  • LettersConsider Jewish Officers

    June 12, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    The article entitled "LAPD Black and Blue" by Xandra Kayden (May 23) disturbed me. The tone of the article implied that Los Angeles police officers are not only brutal, but they routinely lie. As a police officer in the LAPD, I know that nothing is farther from the truth. I hold...
  • The Family Man

    June 12, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    The restaurant billboard advertised its Father's Day brunch in letters too large to miss.

    "If I had a father, we could take him out to eat," my daughter, Samantha, said, as we drove by.

    Samantha's voice held no accusation; she was entirely matter of fact. But I took it personally...

  • Dear Deborah

    By Deborah Berger

    June 12, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    "No Relationships, Please," pastel by Carole Kerchen. From Painting with Passion, 1994

    Marriage Material?

    Dear Deborah,

    I have been married two times, the first time for three years and the second for five years. I have no children from either marriage, and, although I want children,...

  • What Scarlett O’Hara Can Teach Us

    By Linda Feldman

    June 5, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    When I was 16, I used to cut school, take the E-train to Union Square and stand around listening to the Communist speakers rant about injustice. You could say I was passion-challenged, living in Queens and attending Jamaica High School.

    I was the kid who had a crush on television...

  • LettersA Soaring Father

    June 5, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    After reading Sally Ogle Davis' review of my father's work, "In the Presence of Mine Enemies"("Submitted for Your Approval," Apr. 18), I must take exception to her presumption that my father "abandoned his Judaism." I am curious as to when Davis had the opportunity to sit and talk...
  • Insult to Injury

    June 5, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Only justice can set them free.

    When Gerhard and Ursula Maschkowski met at the Deggendorf displaced persons camp in Bavaria soon after liberation, Gert weighed 70 pounds. He had survived not only four years in youth labor camps and two years in Auschwitz, but five months of a Nazi...

  • ‘Mendel & Moses’

    By Teresa Strasser

    May 29, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    When Mendel Moscowitz is transported from Brooklyn to ancient Egypt, the juxtaposition of a whiny New Yorker on the eve of the Exodus is supposed to create the setting for campy high jinks and musical hilarity.

    Billed as "Fiddler on the Roof" meets "The Ten Commandments," original...

  • Too Hot Kitchen?

    By Naomi Pfefferman

    May 29, 1997 | 8:00 pm

    Today the once-legendary Spanish Kitchen restaurant is a study in decay, the "K" missing from the neon sign, the arched storefront crumbling and covered with graffiti. It stands next door to the Yavneh Hebrew Academy, in the midst of a thriving Orthodox community on Beverly...

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