Steve is extremely complimentary to women. They find him charming, even if the rest of us want to puke listening to accolades so saccharine. He’s an old-school charmer in the way that American men aren’t anymore. He’s like that Italian guy you meet in Rome who offers to take you on a private tour of the Colosseum because “a beautiful American girl shouldn’t be traveling alone.” The guys roll their eyes and then can’t understand how the girl actually jumps on the back of his Vespa. But she does. And we should all take note.
Although I’ve met Jami, 39, a few times over the years, it’s generally been when I’ve been auditioning, as an actor, for her, a casting director. And you can’t really get to know someone when you’re nervously reading for a part you want to book. So I was excited to turn the tables on her and ask her out on a date … a date for my single peeps.
But they can't give me credit -- only God can. It says if you make three successful shidduchim, three matches, you automatically go to heaven. And this High Holy Day season I was thinking that I'd really like an automatic pass. ("Go directly to heaven. Do not pass hell; do not collect $200.) Three should be easy enough. I meet so many guys who just because they aren't for me doesn't mean they wouldn't be good for someone. What if this is my purpose in life? What if the point of my meeting so many people is to serve as what Malcolm Gladwell, in his book, "The Tipping Point," calls "The connector?" I feel heady with possibilities.
One of the primary reasons many groups give for the limited availability of premarital counseling programming is the lack of available funding.
Let me state for the record: I am a trendsetter.
This just in, according to no less an authority than The New York Times. Based on their most recent census analysis, more American women are living without a husband than with one.
Although rabbis can play a positive role in brokering a reconciliation in couples with relatively minor problems, they are generally ill-equipped, both educationally and often temperamentally, to grapple with spousal abuse, depression, bullying and other serious issues that can destroy marriages and souls.
Author and former practicing attorney Wendy Jaffe has written an interesting and illuminating work called, "The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married."
Fewer than one-fifth of non-Jews who marry Jews convert to Judaism, according to a new study distributed by the American Jewish Committee.
Stephen Lachter didn't know what to expect when a friend dragged him to a men's club meeting at his Conservative synagogue five years ago.
"My father was in a men's club, and to me, it was guys sitting around playing pinochle and volunteer ushering," he admitted.
Lachter was surprised to see "interesting people having serious discussions," and he "fell into a session on kiruv," or outreach, to intermarried families. "I said to myself, this is something shuls need to be talking about."
I have a friend who answered one of these "too-good-to-be-true" ads. They met for brunch and she knew right away it wasn't going to work out because he glanced at the menu and then said, "So, do you want to split an order of toast?"
I met Dan a few weeks ago at an awesome party downtown. It was held on the entire floor of an industrial building on Spring Street, where a dozen or so artists were showing their work -- mostly photographs and paintings but with a couple of jewelry and clothing designers interspersed. The lighting and the ceilings were low in a way that made everyone look more scintillating than they might in a retro basement bar in Santa Monica. Of course, it could have been the flutes of wine or the chocolate truffles. Or could it really have been Dan?
Couples who have created a partnership and life together consistently talk of the effort involved. Yes, some relationships seem easier than others, but all say it takes time, energy and a true willingness to face whatever comes along on their journey together.
Canceling a wedding has become that common these days. Just because a couple gets engaged, doesn't mean that they'll get married. It just means they've registered at Macy's.
Love is a beautiful thing. That is, unless it happens to a couple of excessively famous people whose affair we can no longer stand.
I met Bob and Susie at the end of a float plane trip deep in the Alaskan wilderness. Most of the year they live on a 40-foot boat surrounded by nothing but forest and water.
I know you're not gonna believe this, but before Internet dating sites, couples actually used to meet "offline" -- out in public -- often by chance: at parties, dances, supermarkets, museums, bookstores. No, really! But like the Tyrannosaurus rex, the Edsel automobile and Steven Segal's career, offline dating is seemingly on its way to extinction. Oh, sure, a few couples occasionally meet offline, as God intended, in the course of their daily lives, much like our pioneer ancestors, but they're just lucky and we resent them. Just because they didn't have to pay $25 a month, post a photo, write a profile and proceed to meet hundreds of people with whom they felt less chemistry than Dick Cheney and Barbra Streisand on a tunnel of love ride, must they rub their joy in our faces?
More and more singles are meeting via Internet dating sites. There's gotta be a reason for that.
The rose-colored glasses often worn by couples headed for the bimah can easily hide some relationship blemishes. So when the glasses come off after the honeymoon, the new vision of the future can be a bit shocking.
For the first time in my adult life I'm dating a Jewish girl.
Her father's Catholic -- an Italian -- but according to my
rabbi, "She's all good."
(Maybe he didn't use those exact words, but something to that effect.)
Carrie and I bicker but never have any real fights; that is not until Christmastime. She was raised with Christmas in her house. Chanukah was a pool they may have dipped their toes into out of some traditional obligation, but it was Christmas that they jumped into cannonball style.
"The Creative Jewish Wedding Book" by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer helps couples tap into their creativity and design the wedding that really suits them. Kaplan-Mayer inspires readers to honor their own comfort level of style, taste, emotional and financial resources and Jewish observance.
Lately it seems as if everyone I know is interested in me getting married. In fact, the person pressuring me the least is my girlfriend, Carrie.
There's nothing more romantic than a cantor's serenade, a symphony of grumbling stomachs, and an oversized sheet of dry honey cake.
I can't prove that allowing same-sex marriage would be bad for society.
A good friend of mine got married a couple of months ago to the wrong guy. The thing is, I think they're going to last a long time.
My friend, "Karen," is a top administrative officer for a government agency. She hired this lawyer, Joe, to do some outside legal work for the agency. He was living with someone at the time, and he wasn't her "type" anyway. No problem: no chemistry, no conflict.
Karen and Joe worked together peacefully for more than four years. They got to be good friends on strictly a professional level. All was fine.
Berkeley, 1959. The Berkeley Gazette announced the marriage of two students at Temple Beth El.
Not every couple's notion of the ideal honeymoon entails a hedonistic beach resort and lots of fruity drinks garnished with umbrellas. Some want to begin married life with yoga.
Some couples pursue tantric yoga, a form that includes a tranquil sexuality, in hopes of creating a powerful union of mind, body and spirit. The Institute for Ecstatic Living -- (877) 982-6872; www.ecstaticliving.com -- organizes tantric vacations to Costa Rica, Hawaii and cruise getaways.
Ryan and I did the L.A. supercasual thing for six or seven months. When I tried to rev up our relationship from supercasual to just plain casual, he freaked. I'm talking full-on, take-it-to-Dr. Phil meltdown:
Los Angeles is often depicted as a hedonist's pleasure palace adorned with beauty and perfumed by sex.
We would always say that we were the ambassadors of love and happiness, causing people to smile as they passed by us, the chemistry almost touchable.
Oh where, oh where did my single friends go? Seems the chicks in my clique are all dating, married or hauling around gargantuan diamonds.
I have heard people refer to the process of meeting someone as "the dating minefield."
The ad caught our eye: an all-expense paid Shabbat weekend at the Brandeis-Bardin Institute for couples married withinthe past 18 months. I had been to Brandeis before, so I knew that, if nothing else, my husband, Neal, and I would experience a tranquil Shabbat in a beautiful setting.