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Tag: Ashley

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  • Cancel Real Housewives New Jersey & Debut “Melissa Loves Joe & Jesus”

    By Ilana Angel

    August 22, 2011 | 8:37 am

    I love Bravo but I’ve had enough. Not only do the housewives of New York need to be canned, but they need to pull the plug on New Jersey too.  These chicks are insane.  By these chicks of course I mean Jacqueline and Teresa. I think the next hit for Bravo should be “Melissa Loves...

  • Bachelorette Finale: Ashley & JP Lose, While Ben Goes Out a Winner

    By Ilana Angel

    August 2, 2011 | 12:57 am

    The Bachelorette is finally over for the season. Thank God.  I seriously don’t think I would have lasted through one more week.  However, I’m about to watch three hours of hell and I’m oddly exited.  I have a mojito on hand, with a bottle of wine as back up, so let the train...

  • The Bachelorette Needs to Wash Her Hair, Floss, & Stop Talking

    By Ilana Angel

    July 26, 2011 | 10:54 am

    We are in Fiji with Ashley, which is a perfect combination of heaven and hell. Fiji is heaven on earth, and time spent with Ashley feels like I am in hell. She arrives to the resort, with her unfortunate walk, in horrible shoes, and once again, unwashed hair.  She is talking and my...

  • The Bachelorette Scratches her Head and Picks her Teeth Across America

    By Ilana Angel

    July 19, 2011 | 9:17 am

    The end is near!  We are almost done with Ashley the Bachelorette and I for one am really excited.  I predict that whomever she is with, is not who she will marry, and that after the final rose, she will cry and scratch herself out of our minds, and we’ll quickly be done with her....

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  • If Admission is Recovery: My Name is Ilana & I Hate Bachelorette Ashley

    By Ilana Angel

    June 27, 2011 | 11:04 pm

    To be clear, I don’t hate her.  Hate is too harsh and I don’t know her.  I can say however, that the person we are seeing on television, and reading interviews with, makes me want to push her down a flight of stairs.  I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen of course.  Maybe...

  • Ashley the Bachelorette Makes Me Want to Jab My Eyes Out With a Fork

    By Ilana Angel

    June 20, 2011 | 11:58 pm

    It’s Monday night, which means I am home with a bottle of wine, questioning my sanity as I watch the dumbest show on television.  I seriously need help because I cannot stop watching this crap fest and find myself increasingly obsessed with how bowlegged Ashley is.  I’m also...

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