Jewish Journal


May 17, 2010

My teenage kids hate my girlfriend


Josh from Newport Beach

I’ve met a woman who really makes me happy.  But my teenage kids hate her.  I really can’t stand having to be in the middle.  Sometimes I think it would be better just to be alone without a love interest.  Should I stay in the relationship or go and find someone after the kids are out of the house.

Unless you could find some valid reason for your teenagers disdain for the woman you are seeing, I would encourage you to not allow them to control your right to have a partner in your life.  While I can readily understand the mixture of feelings that they have, their attitude probably has more to do with the loss of their family than their dislike of your friend.  They are probably displacing much of their hurt and anger onto the wrong person. Forge On

I can speak from experience that being the woman in this triangle is really tough.  What I would want from a man in this situation is the unequivocal support that our relationship is important to him, as are his children, but that there needs to be a willingness for all parties involved to sit down together to make the relationships clear.  I understand why children want to keep their parents to themselves, but the father in this case really needs to make it understood to his kids that his happiness is also important and they might have a lot to gain in allowing his new partner into their lives.

Marcia and Rick
We seem to be in agreement.  We would like to include that if in fact you have a family powwow, you should use it to define the expectations and boundaries for all involved.  Both of us agree this is not up for a vote based on what the teenagers would like best.

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