Jewish Journal


March 23, 2010

Boyfriend with spending issues


From: Jordan in Chicago, Illinois

I’ve been dating a woman who is pretty perfect. I have a job and use my money to pay off my debts, which are considerable. I haven’t wanted to tell her that I have had a spending issue in the past. How can I tell her so she doesn’t run for the hills?

Advice from Marcia:

If you say she is pretty perfect, she will respond perfectly when you come clean about who you are. Women love honesty and you sound as if you have solved the spending problem. So just tell her.

Advice from Dr. Rick:

First let me say that your efforts to get your financial house in order are wise and I fully support your taking control of this part of your life. Until you are in a committed relationship, I don’t think you need to address this issue. You are on the road to recovery and unless your circumstances have a bearing on her day-to-day life, I don’t think you need to say anything at this point.

Overall Advice:

Marcia thinks that she will welcome your honesty and efforts. Rick thinks it’s un- necessary to put this on the table if you are not in a seriously committed relationship. Both Rick and Marcia are in agreement that if this moves to engagement, that all the cards should be on the table.

Get advice from Marcia and Dr. Rick at MarciaandDrRick.com.

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