From: Maggie in Panama City, Florida
I’ve been happily married for almost seven years and must admit that the spark has gone out of our sex life. My husband recently suggested that we experiment with a three-way sexual encounter to spice up our sex life. What do each of you think?
Advice from Marcia:
It is often hard to keep being excited sexually during a long marriage. In a long relationship, the sexual energy needs to morph into a deeper intimacy and pleasure in being with each other. If that hasn’t occurred, then you need to add some romance and change up your day- to-day experiences - but it does not include inviting another person in your bed. Think about making your lives less predictable with each other, and along with the acknowledgment of deep feelings, you can rekindle the sexual attraction you once had.
Advice from Dr. Rick:
For reasons that I cannot explain, most men relish the idea of being with two women. However, I do think that the risks to your marital stability are greater than the likely rewards will be for fulfilling what is largely your husband’s fantasy. I would recommend that you find some erotic literature or other material that expresses this fantasy that you could use to enhance your sexual life without acting this out.
Both Marcia and Rick say do not go there!!! No ménage á trois. However, being sexually open with each other, making efforts to keep this part of your life vital and novel, are the two actions we entirely support. That includes videos, sharing fantasies, literature, sex toys, whatever the two of you would find pleasurable. And if this doesn’t float your boat, it might be wise to seek some professional help.