December 14, 2011
I’m like the Brett Favre of OkCupid, a grizzled veteran hoping for one last shot of glory. I thought I could reclaim some of the magic from my earlier days of internet dating. This time I think I’m calling it quits. As I prepare for retirement, and meet women the natural way (at bars), I’ve stumbled upon some gems in my OkCupid inbox.
Below are my favorite emails that I sent that never received a response. This is a tribute to the dates that were not meant to be, and to the women who were spared hearing about my search for futons.
*These emails have not been edited from their original form. Viewer discretion advised.
Spanglish is a great movie
I would love to travel to japan some day. what brought you to LA? do you go back to Japan at all?
what’s lined up for this weekend? anything besides dinner?
Any exciting plans lined up?
How’s your day going?
I’m also socially liberal and good looking.
lets talk soon.
What we have in common
recently saw pictures of my tour guide with another trip. felt like he cheated on us with another group of young adults.
hope you are having a good thursday.
hope you are having a great thursday. any big weekend plans?
The best I can do is learn from every email I send to unsuspecting women like the exchange below from this past week between myself and a young art school grad whose work I admire.
Interested in Art Work
Not sure if you got my facebook, but I’m moving into a new place and am in need of art work. i really like your paintings. do you have anything for purchase, and or could i commision something?
Dec 9th 2011 4:29pm
Dec 9 2011 5:19pm
My budget would be around $75—$100. I would need a horizontal piece something that is a decent size. I’m moving into a studio that isn’t huge and would love something nice to hang over my bed. I really like painting 4 and something that would reflect my new life living in the hills of Los Feliz. I love the idea of a glass house on some sort of hill overlooking the city at dusk and love the colors and feel of the painting I attached. Best case scenario is that I could have the piece in hand by Xmas. Do you think this is doable? I’d also love to take you out for drinks as part of the deal.
Dec. 12th 2011 11:16am
Do you think this is possible? I’m trying to map out how I’m going to decorate the place.
Dec 12th 201112:16am