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Jewish Journal

Surrounded by Kids

By Elliot Steingart

June 25, 2013 | 9:36 am

Jake pre-bed time

I was surrounded by kids for an entire day. In a span of eight hours, I was kicked in the groin and nearly run over by a Fisher Price bicycle. All proof that the first day of summer is... read on

  • Toenail Recall

    By Elliot Steingart

    May 24, 2013 | 11:43 am

    I'm taking medication to cure my foot fungus. My girlfriend, sister, brother-in-law, cousin, and childhood friends have made fun of my discolored toes long enough. Soon they shall see normal adult male toe nails. In no time I'll wear sandals without shame. And my girlfriend will... read on

  • Excuses

    By Elliot Steingart

    May 17, 2013 | 2:11 pm

    I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a month. I've been super busy.


    I got stung by a bee. It's been so long I didn't know bees still did that. It wasn't even sunny; it was cold and overcast. Out of nowhere this dumb bee landed on the side of my foot. As soon as I felt the pinch, I... read on

  • One Year Anniversary

    By Elliot Steingart

    April 22, 2013 | 11:10 am

    Written by my girlfriend, Liv Amend


    Elliot and I decided to embark on a romantic getaway for our one year anniversary.   I was actually embarrassed when I told people.  Friends and family were curious “Why are you going to Long Beach?” 

    I didn’t want to say it was because the... read on

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  • Handy Man

    By Elliot Steingart

    April 12, 2013 | 11:23 am

    I made a new friend. His name is Jose Luis. I knew he was my friend as soon as he said "Hello, my friend."

    Jose Luis helped me move my bed, kitchen table and love seat into my new apartment down the hall from where I used to live. He also mounted my TV. My girlfriend led the... read on

  • Dad Behavior

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 25, 2013 | 1:39 pm

    With each passing day my hair gets grayer and my jokes, cornier. I accept this transformation as an inevitable fact of life. I'm slowly turning into my father. Spending time with my dad is a study in who I will become.

    I waited for my dad to come out of the bathroom at a local... read on

  • Dead Lady’s Apartment

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 8, 2013 | 3:59 pm

    I am moving down the hall into the apartment of a 91 year old woman who recently passed away. I am sad she died, but it was for a good cause. 

    My landlord told me she lived in the unit for 30 years.

    "She had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital,” my landlord told me.

    ... read on
  • Garcetti

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 1, 2013 | 2:25 pm

    I am obsessed with names.  Since 8th grade I have kept a Great Name List;  a partial list is here: http://greatnamelist.wordpress.com/

    Most of the names on the list are hockey stars like Alex Pietrengelo, Marty St. Louis, Corey Conacher, the Canisius College, Golden Griffin. I... read on

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Elliot Steingart is a Los Angeles based comedian and writer who hosts a monthly comedy show, “Melgard Mondays” at Melgard Public House. Steingart has written jokes for...

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