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Jewish Journal

Coed Carpool

By Elliot Steingart

April 11, 2012 | 12:20 pm

My new co-worker is a perky 26 year old gal who lives in Los Feliz. She is nice looking and normal. We walked to Starbucks where I popped the question.

“Want to carpool?”

“Sure!”... read on

  • Judy, The Foodie

    By Elliot Steingart

    April 4, 2012 | 3:30 pm

    My mom is Judy, the foodie. She is the Mr. Yuk of sodium nitrates, and high fructose corn syrup. I think she’d rather I marry a non-Jewish woman than have me eat anything with partially hydrogenated oils.

    I want to make my mom proud but it’s easier to invite your buddies out for... read on

  • My Dad’s an Asian Male Model

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 28, 2012 | 11:43 am

    My dad is Marc Steingart, a Jewish guy from Pittsburgh, PA turned Asian male model.

    Photographers take his picture with Asian women and children. They nor the casting agents know his secret past as member of Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity at Penn State or captain of the JCC Squash... read on

  • Movies by Myself

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 21, 2012 | 1:25 pm

    We all do weird things we may not like to admit. I love going to the movies by myself. There, I said it.

    Some people brag about finishing the LA Marathon, I brag about seeing discounted matinees. 

    I’m good at the movies. I know the show times. I sit in the back, put my feet up on... read on

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  • Waiting on Fruit & Love in Los Feliz

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 14, 2012 | 12:15 pm

    I feel like half my life is spent waiting for avocados to ripen and the other half is waiting for first dates to find a parking space in Los Feliz. I do prefer both my produce and women local. I shop at the local Albertsons, and search for females on Plentyoffish within a 5 mile... read on

  • Laughing at Synagogue

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 7, 2012 | 3:21 pm

    Part of being an uncle is not laughing at synagogue. I don’t go to temple often so it’s usually not a problem.

    I was commanded by my sister, the almighty Ariel, to attend Dylan’s Hebrew baby naming at a reform congregation in Deerfield, Illinois. Since I already knew Dylan’s Hebrew... read on

  • Business and Pleasure in Chicago

    By Elliot Steingart

    March 2, 2012 | 11:54 am

    I flew to Chicago both for business and to meet my baby niece, Dylan.  As I cradled baby Dylan in my arms for the first time, she let out a harmless little fart. I knew she took after her uncle.

    Dylan is a beautiful little angel. It’s hard to say who she looks like. I think she... read on

  • Jewish Girls and Monster Jam

    By Elliot Steingart

    February 22, 2012 | 11:47 am

    It’s always good to take a break, even from yourself. I live alone and have five mirrors above my bed. I’m not that vain that I want to look at myself all the time, just when having sex. Since that hasn’t happened in a little while, I routinely rehearse karaoke songs and flex my... read on

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Elliot Steingart is a Los Angeles based comedian and writer who hosts a monthly comedy show, “Melgard Mondays” at Melgard Public House. Steingart has written jokes for...

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